Prada for tots

News of designer nursery rhymes for children.

Topics: Broadsheet, Gawker, Love and Sex,

I have been meaning to post this item since I saw it last week on Gawker. It’s about news (via Publishers Lunch) that a book of 22 “humorous, name-dropping nursery rhymes for Birkin-toting, Blahnik-wearing It moms and mommies-to-be” will be published next year in the United States. It’s called “This Little Piggy Went to Prada: Nursery Rhymes for the Blahnik Brigade.” Apparently, it’s already out in England, and a blurb in Vogue U.K. offers a couple of examples of the rhymes, including (set to the tune of “Frère Jacques”):

Louis Vuitton, Louis Vuitton,
Mulberry, Mulberry?
Nappy bag dilemma  Lulu, Kate or Anya?
Shopping spree, buy all three.

There are just so many bad things to say about this book, and I found myself with even more after I found its official Web site, which describes the “target audience” of book buyers: “The designer-nappy-bag generation. From footballers’ wives to ladies who lunch, ‘It’ mums and mummies-to-be will find this the perfect bedside-table book. It’s the ultimate literary purchase for lovers of Bill Amberg baby slings, Dior teddy bears and Kate Spade nappy bags.”

But in the end, I think Gawker actually summed it up best, quoting some verse that goes:

This little piggy went to Prada,
This little piggy went to Cannes,
This little piggy dined at Nobu,
And this little piggy, Hakkasan.
And this little piggy went “Wee wee wee wee!”
All the way home because she had a fat bottom!

Gawker then presented an “ethical question: Do we think book burnings are ever morally acceptable?”

Rebecca Traister

Rebecca Traister writes for Salon. She is the author of "Big Girls Don't Cry: The Election that Changed Everything for American Women" (Free Press). Follow @rtraister on Twitter.

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