Books
God to Margaret: Always with wings!
In updated editions of Judy Blume's classic, Margaret's famous pink belt is replaced with self-adhesive pads. But something has been lost.
If you’re an American woman between the ages of 20 and 40, the following passage will likely be familiar to you:
“I locked the bathroom door and attached a Teenage Softie to the little hooks on my pink belt. Then I got dressed and looked at myself in the mirror. Would anyone know my secret? Would it show? Would Moose, for instance, know if I went back outside to talk to him? Would my father know it right away when he came home for dinner? I had to call Nancy and Gretchen and Janie right away. Poor Janie! She’d be the last of the PTS’s to get it. And I’d been so sure it would be me! How about that! Now I am growing for sure. Now I am almost a woman!
“Are you still there God? It’s me, Margaret. I know you’re there God. I know you wouldn’t have missed this for anything! Thank you God. Thanks an awful lot”
Those final two paragraphs of “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret,” Judy Blume’s paean to pubescent faith, sweaty-palmed sexuality, and menarche in the Jersey suburbs of the late 1960s, are the climactic answer to Margaret Simon’s prayers that she will get her period. (An obsession she shares with her girlfriends, the Pre-Teen Sensations.)
But if you have a daughter who has a new edition of the book, this is how the same passage will begin:
“I locked the bathroom door and peeled the paper off the bottom of the pad. I pressed the sticky strip against my underpants. Then I got dressed and looked at myself in the mirror…”
Yes, it’s true: Margaret’s pink sanitary belt is history. In the late 1990s, Blume updated the portions of her book that describe 11-going-on-12-year-old Margaret’s purchase of (and practice with) a box of the kind of absorbent pads that used to be held in place by a belt worn under the clothes.
In fact, the era of the belt ended just a few years after the 1970 publication of “Are You There God?” leaving most of the book’s readers pretty mystified about what the hell all that hooking and unhooking was all about. By the early ’80s, the pre-tampon period years were all about pads that stuck right into your underwear, no belts required. (Thanks, God.)
Blume discussed the changes candidly in a terrific interview in the Boston Phoenix in 1998, saying, “Some people get really upset about this, but it has nothing to do with the story … No one uses belts anymore. Half the mothers haven’t used them. [Contemporary readers] have to go to their grandmothers.” She also told the Phoenix, “I’d been thinking about it for a long time … Some people said, ‘Oh no, it’s a classic. You can’t mess around with a classic.’ And I said, ‘Look, we’re not messing around with the character… We’re just messing around with the equipment.”
And while the changes were also mentioned, in passing, in a 2004 New York Times story about Blume’s National Book Foundation medal for distinguished contribution to American letters, few people seem to have gotten their panties in a twist — so to speak — about it until now. A few weeks ago, blogger Book of the Day reread “Are You There God?” as an adult and proclaimed it sophisticated and multilayered, and mentioned the updated equipment, calling it “a change that makes sense.” But Blume’s editorial change came as news to many, and word began to spread like Web wildfire. Apparently, a generation of bloggers — who undoubtedly gorged themselves on Fudge and Sheila and Tony and Deenie and Margaret as kids — considered the change a big deal.
And I’m with them. It’s a very big deal.
My gut reaction, like Book of the Day’s, was to cheer a little, remembering the perplexity I felt when reading about the belt. By the time I was dealing with this stuff, the mid-’80s, it was all Always with wings, all the time, at least until we could make the transition (as soon as humanly possible, please, God) to tampons. Tampons were — and are — acknowledged in “Are You There God?” only once: when Margaret’s mean girlfriend Nancy asks the feminine product representative who’s come to show the sixth-grade girls a filmstrip about “menstroo-ation,” “What about Tampax?” “We don’t advise internal protection until you are considerably older,” is the prim reply. I think it took most of my friends about two periods’ worth of walking around with pads in their underwear to decide they were “considerably older.” But regardless — Margaret’s practice sessions, the distinction between the cool “Teenage Softies” brand of pad and her mother’s “Private Lady” stuff, the process of picking out the separately packaged belt in the drugstore — these details just didn’t resonate specifically with me.
And that was only 15 years after publication! Who could have predicted that the book would wind up in its umpteenth printing, redecorated with modern-looking girls photographed in Baby-sitter’s Club-style poses on the cover? When I went to find a new edition with the changes in place, I discovered a whole shelf’s worth of almost every one of the Blume books I remembered, while a quick look for some of my other old favorites — Lois Lowry, Zilpha Keatley Snyder and even Madeleine L’Engle — turned up a much thinner spread of options. Who could have known for sure that 36 years after its publication (Margaret would turn 48 this month, if anyone’s counting) and after having been banned from countless school libraries, “Are You There God” would still be in print, leaving all its first-time readers to wonder anew at the mysterious contraptions from which they are now separated by at least two generations.
But part of what has kept Blume in the teenage canon for so long has been her ability to stuff a health textbook’s worth of information about the mechanics of teenage bodies into 200-page stories full of enough emotional Sturm und Drang to not make kids feel as if they’re sitting through one of those hellish single-sex P.E. classes. (Note: I support hellish single-sex P.E. classes, as well as good sex education in every form available in every context, and wish that every kid in this country were provided with a copy of “Our Bodies, Ourselves” on his or her 12th birthday. Still, reading “Forever” is way more fun.) Even in a progressive home, raised by parents who were nothing if not open about sexuality and the human body, I found myself educated by Blume; the memory of learning what an erection was from “Then Again, Maybe I Won’t” is burned vividly in my brain.
Feminist historians Kathleen O’Grady and Paula Wansbrough, editors of the anthology “Sweet Secrets: Stories of Menstruation,” have credited Blume with changing the attitudes of an entire generation of girls about getting their periods. “Are You There God?” is mentioned in “The Curse: Confronting the Last Unmentionable Taboo, Menstruation” and in “The Curse: A Cultural History of Menstruation.” The people at “Our Bodies, Ourselves” recommend the book as a resource; Blume reads from “Are You There God?” in the seminal menses movie “Under Wraps”; and there are a number of references to Blume’s book at the online Museum of Menstruation and Women’s Health.
In short, “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” remains the ur-text for those on the verge of menstroo-ation, and thereby carries a heavy burden, especially in these days of crappified sex ed, ever-increasing restrictions on women’s reproductive health choices, and mixed messages about youthful sexuality and development. Perhaps it is better — safer — to make sure that everything “Are You There God?” tells those girls is as accurate as possible. If it’s the only thing a preteen sensation is going to read about her own impending menarche, then better that it not send her on a dizzying, fruitless search for some kind of medieval pink belt with hooks.
And yet…
This kind of change, a total of perhaps five sentences spread among three scenes, raises a larger question about the way we regard our books. Because while this is an update that was made years ago, it fits in perfectly with a contemporary attitude about our narratives: that they increasingly seem to serve not simply as stories unto themselves, but as instructional manuals. Isn’t that, after all, what happened to James Frey’s “A Million Little Pieces” when Oprah picked it for her book club and turned it from a “memoir” into a self-help survival guide for addicts?
Isn’t that the point that many Salon readers made just last week when they complained that Elizabeth Gilbert’s spiritual/travel memoir “Eat, Pray, Love,” reviewed by Lori Leibovich, was irrelevant to them because they didn’t share Gilbert’s economic class and the opportunities it afforded. On one level, that’s a valid point. Few people can afford to travel to three different continents in a year, so Gilbert’s globetrotting tale of emergence from depression does not provide a model that could be emulated by many. But in the past, the power of a story to chronicle an experience unavailable to many readers has often been considered a plus.
Likewise, a book that retails a historical experience now alien to modern readers has fallen into its own worthwhile category: educational. Young women today have no experience with sanitary belts. They likely never will. Born in 1975, I would never have known that such a thing existed had it not been for reading about it in “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.” And while it may seem minor — so very minor, such a few small sentences in a 150-page book that’s just as much about God and making your boobs grow as it is about periods — I’m actually glad for the sense it gave me that as recently as five years before I was born, girls had very different hassles during puberty. I’m glad I know a bit about what they were. I’m glad that other young women know about some of the technology they can be grateful for (wings!) even if they, like me and many others, don’t share Margaret’s undiluted enthusiasm for the onset of monthly bleeding.
And speaking of Margaret, it makes me a little sad to think that girls (and boys) who get to know her now don’t know that she had to pick the color of her belt and learn how to operate it. It seems to me as fundamental a part of the book as the suburban house in which she grew up, the Mice Men record album she got from the Pre-Teen Sensations for her birthday, and the big curlers her mother used to set her hair the night before Norman Fishbein’s dinner party for the whole class. Go back and read Margaret again. Admire the cultural stereotyping of the Fishbein house, the fashion choices of poor, sweet early ripener Laura Danker and lawn-mowing hottie Moose Freed. See if you don’t feel the late ’60s vibrating psychedelically from every sentence, even in the newer editions.
It’s hard to imagine, but while we’ve been busy growing up, “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” has become a historical novel, one that gives its readers more than just a mirror held up to their own specific conditions. It offers them the thrill of seeing themselves, even in characters who live in different times, in different worlds. That stupid pink belt is as fundamental as Laura Ingalls Wilder’s corncob doll Susan, or the junk that Francie and Neeley Nolan exchange for pennies. The miniature that Jane Eyre draws of Blanche Ingram to remind herself of her comparative worthlessness is heartbreakingly familiar, even though today, upon hearing of her rival’s beauty from Mrs. Fairfax, Jane probably would have just looked her up on MySpace.
Rebecca Traister writes for Salon. She is the author of "Big Girls Don't Cry: The Election that Changed Everything for American Women" (Free Press). Follow @rtraister on Twitter. More Rebecca Traister.
Memorial Day fiction: Are we there yet?
Salon exclusive: At the start of the summer fiction season, new stories from Chris Pavone and Natalie Bakopoulos
(Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign) “Are we there yet?”
It’s a dreaded sentence. When it’s spoken by an anxious child from the back seat, it’s enough to make stressed-out parents wish they’d never taken a family vacation in the first place. And even if it’s delivered as a sing-songy punch line, from an impatient partner or spouse on a long road trip, it’s an irritating eye-roller of a joke.
So this Memorial Day weekend — the unofficial start of the summer vacation season, and therefore the summer fiction season — we asked two novelists to reclaim the sentence in a new and adult context. For our latest fiction project, there was only one simple rule: Each story had to include the line “Are we there yet?” in a fresh and surprising way.
Continue Reading CloseDavid Daley is the senior culture editor of Salon. More David Daley.
“Tubes”: What the Internet is made of
If you think your data lives in the cloud and flies through the air, you're wrong
Andrew Blum The title of Andrew Blum’s “Tubes: A Journey to the Center of the Internet” is a ricocheting joke. When Alaskan Sen. Ted Stevens described the Internet as a “series of tubes” back in 2006, he was roundly mocked for not understanding the online world despite being chairman of the Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee and therefore instrumental in overseeing it. Stevens may not have known what he was talking about, Blum (a correspondent for Wired magazine) acknowledges, but he wasn’t wrong, either. In writing this account of “the Internet’s physical infrastructure,” Blum found that “one thing [the Internet] most certainly is, nearly everywhere, is, in fact, a series of tubes.”
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Exclusive: The Paris Review, the Cold War and the CIA
Letters discovered by Salon show even deeper Cold War ties between the Paris Review and a U.S. propaganda front
(Credit: Salon) In 1958, the Paris Review’s George Plimpton wrote his Paris editor with a grand proposal. The Russian author Boris Pasternak had just been awarded the Nobel Prize. But under pressure from the Soviets — humiliated that “Dr. Zhivago” had to be smuggled out of the country — he refused it. “The Pasternak affair has caused such a stir here,” writes Plimpton from the journal’s New York office, “and is in itself an event of such importance in lit’r’y history that we feel the Review somehow should chronicle what has happened…” Writing to Nelson Aldrich, the Paris editor, Plimpton suggests short statements by a “variety of authors asked to comment. What does Sartre have to say on this matter … Aragon, Neruda, Waugh? Here [in New York] we have Niccolo Tucci … digging up statements, mostly from writers who (as he is himself) are refugees from tyranny…” Plimpton goes on to suggest that the Congress for Cultural Freedom, largely and covertly funded by the CIA, might fund brochures to help publicize the issue.
Continue Reading CloseA co-founder of Guernica, Joel Whitney is a Brooklyn writer whose work appears in The New York Times, The New Republic, World Policy Journal and The Paris Review More Joel Whitney.
“People Who Eat Darkness”: The disappearing blonde
A true crime story set in Tokyo illuminates the complicated truths behind media cliches
Joji Obara and Lucie Blackman (Credit: Estate of Lucie Jane Blackman) Lucie Blackman, 21, went out for the afternoon in 2000, phoning her roommate and best friend Louise to arrange a meeting later that night. Lucie never showed up, and within a few days she’d become one of those vanished blondes whose fates fuel headlines and hours of speculative media coverage. She was British, a former flight attendant, and she and Louise were living in Tokyo. They were also bar hostesses, a profession with a very specific meaning in Japan, difficult to explain to foreigners and not entirely clear to the Japanese themselves. Lucie both did and didn’t match the classic Missing Blonde profile, and for a while the mystery of what happened to her threatened to lapse into permanent obscurity.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Corporate criminals gone wild
The maker of the documentary film "Inside Job" has a new book excoriating Wall Street -- and President Obama
A detail from the cover of "Predator Nation" “Inside Job,” Charles Ferguson’s Oscar-winning documentary film on how government, Wall Street and academia colluded to deliver us the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, made a powerful case that something was very very rotten at the heart of the American political/economic nexus. His follow-up book, “Predator Nation: Corporate Criminals, Political Corruption, and the Hijacking of America,” can be considered the legal brief that dots every “i” and crosses every “t” in his argument. A tightly argued, profusely footnoted and deeply enraged castigation of everyone involved, “Predator Nation” isn’t just a factually unchallengeable account of how Wall Street blew up the global economy. It’s a denunciation, a call for justice and a warning: After getting away with the crime of the century, Wall Street still isn’t satisfied.
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Andrew Leonard is a staff writer at Salon. On Twitter, @koxinga21. More Andrew Leonard.
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