Fiction

“A Million Nightingales”

In an excerpt from Susan Straight's new novel, a mixed-race slave girl tries to outwit her captors.

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Even as the new Msieu spoke, not looking at us, the new slaves, but at his own hand moving over the paper as he wrote, I didn’t listen.

I don’t belong to you. My mother always said I didn’t belong to the old Msieu, and I wouldn’t belong to God until I died. I belong to her. I am hers.

“What is your name?”

We stood in the yard between the kitchen and the house. The wind had grown colder as we came further north from New Orleans and the Barataria, where he’d gone to Lafitte to buy the stolen Africans. He said we were near Opelousas now. The trees here were bare of leaves, their branches dark as though burned.

“Can you speak any French?” the new Msieu called out.

None of the Africans answered.

The new Msieu sat down at a wooden table. He took papers from his coat and spread them out. He wrote January 19, 1811.

“Athenaise is your name,” he said, toward the first African. “Sometimes they learn words on the ship,” he said, turning toward a driver on a horse, a man with a sparse red beard like ants on his cheeks. “Not this group. So expensive. I even had to buy the chains from Lafitte,” he said.

“Athenaise.” The finger stabbed the air before the first African. “Athenaise.” Then the finger moved sideways, to direct the African to shuffle slightly nearer the driver.

“Gervaise. Apollonaise. Helaise. Livaudaise.” Each time, his finger stabbed toward a face, then tore sideways through the air.

A white woman stepped outside now. Her dress was calico, fine figures not faded by too much washing. Not as fancy as the old Madame.

She swung her head slowly around to each figure in the yard, peered toward the backs of the leaving men. “I heard you say Lafitte. You went to Lafitte, the privateer?”

He said dismissively, “For the Africans. Not the girl. She was nearly given to me, south of New Orleans.”

Given to him. The old Msieu had not wanted to see my face again, after his daughter died. His child was gone. My mother’s child would disappear, too.

He pointed at me. “I don’t like African names. But certainly you are not African.”

I was half Bambara. He knew nothing. He didn’t know I could read a little.

The Madame said, “What can you do?” She sounded as if she were choosing cloth. “How old are you?”

“Fourteen, madame,” I said. The small Msieu’s pen scratched again.

If I said washing and ironing, what my mother had taught me, I would stand every day in this yard. I would smell someone else’s soap, not my mother’s, and hear someone else’s words at my ear, and I would never be able to run from the closeness of this yard.

“The field,” I said.

He had already written Creole mulatresse, 14.

His finger drew the same slanting line toward the driver. “Name?”

“Moinette,” I said.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

A blanket, a bowl and spoon made from gourd, and a cape. That was what the woman named Sophia handed me. She said, “You from south? Past New Orleans? Get cold here. Cold and ice.” She showed me how the hood lifted up, for when wind scoured the fields.

Hers was the second house on the street that ran down le quartier. Across the barnyard was the drivers’ house - Mirande and Baillo, fox-haired brothers from France. “One sleep, one ride all night keep a eye on us,” Sophia said.

Inside Sophia’s door was a front room: a fireplace, a table and three chairs. In the back room were six wooden sleeping shelves, two on each wall.

Sophia put her hands up to her face and rubbed. Her fingers disappeared in the hair at her forehead. “Why they put you here with me? So tired. I don’t have time for someone else.”

I didn’t belong to her, either, so I didn’t answer. I held my apron in my lap, my fingers on my mother’s stitches.

Two girls entered, picking splinters from their skirts.

“All that wood we carried,” the smaller one said.

Sophia said, “This Fronie. She ten. She mine.”

“Fantine,” the older girl said. “I my own.”

Sophia heated water in the fireplace and poured it into a washtub. “You wash. Moinette. Don’t want bugs in here.”

“I don’t have bugs.”

“You got something.”

I had my bundle - my apron tied around the coffee beans and clothespins my mother had handed me that morning for my work in the house, before the old Msieu’s daughter died, before he sold me. She gave me coffee beans before she knew I would disappear as if drowned, taken away by the river.

I pushed my apron to the far corner of my sleeping shelf. I didn’t know yet who stole here. When I took off my dress, sand fell like sugar around my feet.

“Yellow girl,” Fronie said. “What color your blood?”

I pushed myself down into the hot water. Then I bit at my thumb until the red dripped to my palm and held it out so they could see.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

The next week, men in pirogues brought moss. They left the boats, piled high with gray tangles meant for mattresses.

We walked from the fields. Sophia said, “They say two men argue with Msieu up there, bring all that moss to sell, but Msieu tell them cure it first and bring it back. My people too busy for moss.”

It was my turn to grind our corn. I took my other dress off the peg, rolled it with my clothespins into a bundle and tied it to me with my apron strings. I wrapped the bag of corn into my cape, turning away from Fantine.

I walked behind the privies, to the narrow ditch where they were perched. The ditch ran to the little bayou in Msieu’s woods. The smell of our leavings was strong.

At the bayou, a smaller pirogue trailed behind the larger. I got in, untied the rope, hunched myself into the moss up to my waist. It was high enough to hide me if someone saw the boat. The sun was hot red in the trees. I picked up the paddle. The pirogue slid fast down the narrow bayou.

I needed a story. Someone would see me, someone would have to take me south, and I would have to tell a story. Or pay with my own skin, with what all the men wanted, to get back to New Orleans.

The trees were lit from behind as if on fire. No one would be looking for me yet. The moss-sellers were having coffee with Msieu and Madame now.

The water pulled me of its own strength, until the sun disappeared as if it had died. The boat moved of its own accord - black air, black water, and I was invisible.

When I was this afraid, as when the old Msieu’s daughter had stopped breathing after the doctor removed the leech, when he forced me off the landing into the new Msieu’s boat, my heart hurt so badly that there must be a tear, a gash. Did the heart repair itself? Were the scars raised and shiny like those on our skins?

The boat moved for a long time, until I was afraid to keep floating in the dark, not knowing where I was headed. I saw a caved-in place in the bank, where roots dangled. I held on tight to a root, listening to evening birds in the branches. Finally my stomach beat hard with hunger. I put three dried corn kernels in my mouth, trying to cook them with my saliva. Hot liquid. I was an animal now.

Then I felt the rope. A rope was looped around my neck.

Crime against God. I couldn’t breathe. They would kill me and then punish my body.

The rope scratched my throat, pulled from behind. I tried to hold the sides of the pirogue. No one would punish my body. It wasn’t theirs. It belonged to my mother. Then God. I rolled over the side of the boat into the bayou.

The rope went slack. I worked my fingers between it and my skin. But the water pulled me, too. My eyes opened. I breathed the water through my nose. The water in my hair, like floating in Mamere’s washtub when I was small.

Wood hit me on the back. Then my hair was pulled hard, my dress, my arm wrenched. I was in a boat.

An Indian man. His fingers twisted my hair to turn me back onto my stomach, and he put a foot on my back. His eyes were black as pot bottoms. He was the same man who had brought back Athenaise. He tied my feet to a ring set in the bottom of the boat and put his rifle over his legs and began to paddle again.

After a long time, we entered a smaller bayou through a tunnel of water oaks and cypress. The pirogue stopped at a raft of cypress trunks. Beyond them was a clearing, where a man in a boat pointed a long rifle toward the sky, but stared at eight black men up to their waists in murky water, swinging axes in the cypress trees. They were lit by his torch.

The Indian whistled.

The man swung around. Reddish beard and blackened teeth when he grinned. A crushed hat, a smear of mud around his eyes like raccoon, but the fingers holding the gun were white.

“A favorable expedition, I see,” he shouted.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

I had never heard a voice like his. Rolling and slurring. He spoke English.

The white man said, “Where did you run from, dear?”

I sat on the ground in front of a low shed with four doors. An Indian woman said something in another language to the Indian man. She held a rifle of her own, and nodded toward the black men who had walked up from the swamp.

The white man said, “I don’t want to hear those guttural Indian words, Sally.”

“I didn’t run. I belong to Msieu De La Rosiere,” I said, trying to remember all the English words. I hadn’t spoken English in a long time. “He sent me to gather moss.”

“Rosiere is north by five miles or so,” the man said. “Sure there are plenty of trees close to there for moss. You see, Joseph finds people when they run. Not when they gather moss for a few hours.”

He slanted his head to study my dress, my hands. Bayou mud clung to my face and neck. “You’ve been working in the fields, dear. What else can you do?”

I didn’t answer. I waited for him to hit me or tear my dress.

“Tie her up, then, Joseph,” he said to the Indian man. “If she just ran last night, they won’t have been looking long.”

They left me chained to a ring in the first room, the wooden door propped open. The Indian woman left a dish of boiled corn near me, as if for a dog. After a time, I smelled meat. Eight men sat around the cooking fire. The tallest — his back with grin-scar on one shoulder, fleur-de-lis on his other. Athenaise.

The Indian woman came in. Her hair was straight, to her shoulders, and a faint line was tattooed from each corner of her mouth to her jaw, like a strange dripping of blue.

She brought me back toward the fire and chained me to a post. Athenaise kept his eyes on the flames, the only man not staring at me.

“Have you decided what it is you’re good for, dear?” The white man threw animal bones into the fire.

When I didn’t speak, he said, “I left Ireland with nothing, dear, just as you ran with nothing today. But now I own this little enterprise. Sally, though, isn’t the best of cooks. And as she’s my legal wife, I can’t really let her sell her other useful wares. But a bright girl like you, on the other hand, could make yourself comfortable here. You’re meant for one thing. All these men are working for money, to buy themselves freedom. We take them to New Orleans when they’ve earned it. Work for a year, and you’ll be free to go. The men can pay you. I’ll deduct it from their wages, dear.”

The Indian woman spat into the fire.

The white man’s boots were black with mud, like a second skin over the leather. He drank from a flask. I had to gamble. It would be safer to tell him a story away from the other men.

“I can tell you inside,” I said softly. He motioned to the Indian woman. She led me back into his room. He shut the door and chained me to the rings.

“Don’t think to try anything brilliant,” he said.

The smell of alcohol wafted from his skin, and the burned meat on his fingers.

“Msieu de la Rosiere bought me in New Orleans, just a while ago,” I said. “I’m a -” What was the English word?

“You’re a high yellow thing,” he said softly.

“Cadeau,” I said. “Gift. A gift for his son, when he returns from Paris.”

“A slave can’t ever be free from the master.” His voice was soft and reasonable.

“But if you work hard, you can be free here.”

Behind him, the Indian woman shook her head slightly, twice.

I said, “Take me back, and he will pay you. I wasn’t running, just gathering moss and got lost. I left my jewelry and my good dresses at Rosiere. I am not to wear them until I am given as the gift.”

He swallowed again from the flask and flicked at my dress with his walking stick. “You’d be better off here. The men will pay you. They won’t argue.”

Then he dropped the empty flask and said loudly, far too loudly for our conversation, “I’m first. And then everyone else can pay.”

He wanted the other men to hear.

He put his head down to study the opening to his trousers, and the Indian woman named Sally came up behind him and pulled a sash around his neck. She tightened it quickly, and he fell to the floor. She pulled him to the bed, and his mouth sagged open like dead fish. She slid the sash from under his throat, and he drew in a huge shuddering breath and remained unconscious.

But she backed herself into the wall near the bed and knocked against it, grunting and moving against the wood. Her face was as blank as if she were grinding corn. She screamed.

Then one man laughed outside, and one spoke in a murmur low and long, and I knew what she was doing. The men thought they heard his pleasure. They thought their turn would come tomorrow.

She unlocked the chain. Then she opened the door, holding the rifle, and motioned to the men at the dying fire. They breathed heavily and one said, “Not time for sleep yet,” but she pointed the rifle at him. They filed into the other room, and she fastened the huge padlocks on the door.

One man cursed inside, and another whispered like boiling water.

When we had walked silently, far into the cipriere on a narrow path, she took a candle from her pocket and lit it. Her eyes were so black that the small flame danced in her pupils when she leaned toward me. After what he’d said about her, maybe she would kill me herself now.

Her throat worked and she spoke awkwardly in French, not English. “No one is free,” she said. We stood near pools of dark water and huge cypress stumps, some so old their centers had collapsed into hollows. No one had been back here for a long time — the brush caught at my skirts, and she slashed at vines with her rifle.

“Jamais,” she said. Never. “Never free.” She pointed to the ground, and then held up eight fingers.

In the trembling circle of candlelight, the earth was rucked up in places. Footsteps of a giant who’d traveled in the woods. A water god.

I bent closer, and saw an edge of cloth.

Graves.

The Irish man pretended to take the men to New Orleans when they’d worked long enough, but he killed them here. Her voice was flat and harsh. “Two years of work. Then he cut with the knife.” She ran her fingernail across my throat. “No shot. No one hears. My brother hunts for new ones.”

The Indian man stepped out of the trees, and I screamed. She moved forward so quickly that the candle caught the edges of my hair, and she clapped her hand over my mouth.

“No, no,” she whispered. “No screams.”

She took her hand away. “No other woman. I know to work him.” She put her finger on her own chest.

I spat the burnt-hair taste from my mouth. “Why do you stay?”

She leaned close to me, breath of clear water, somehow sweet. He is my husband. He has papers. My uncle sold my brother for a slave, but he gave me for a wife. We cannot go. Our names are on the papers. We go to jail.”

Her brother came forward, holding a piece of cloth and a rope.

She said, “My brother take you back for gold. And I say to my husband that you ran.” She pulled my wrist up. “I want gold money. For me. For New Orleans.” When I tried to talk, she sliced the cloth into my open mouth, tying it tight behind my head. “Don’t run again. Money is you.”

- – - – - – - – - – - -

The drivers, Mirande and Baillo, left both pieces of cloth tied. I couldn’t see the doorways, but heard people gathering. No one was cooking yet. The only fire I smelled was the one behind me.

I heard the ringing ache of iron in the coals. I made myself see my mother’s fireplace.

“The old man said lightly,” Mirande murmured behind me. “Don’t hold it hard as for the African. Didn’t teach him anything.”

I heard it only as a falling away of ash. A sparkle.

Then I tasted black, saw black, felt the sear on my shoulder. Blacksmith. Molten. Red in my throat.

Sophia’s sharp fingers took my wrist. She tied a piece of salt pork on the burn, using the cloth from my mouth, wrapping it under my arm, over my shoulder. “That was my meat,” she whispered in my ear. “On your shoulder now.”

In the field, my hoe moved the earth in rows around the cane. The sweat dripped in my eyes. Salt. Sea water. Salt meat melting on my skin. Meat tied to meat.

I lay on my shelf, and blood rushed to the burn and then rushed away. So hot. A steam burn on Mamere’s forearm, from a kettle — then after a week, the whole piece of dried skin lifted off, thin and crackling.

Leather.

Underneath the burn, Mamere’s skin had been pink as a puppy tongue. I seized her arm to look. Every day, more etching appeared, new skin tinted with smoke and dirt — with the very air — until that large oval was only a bit lighter than the rest of Mamere.

I didn’t know what my skin did, at the burn. Under my shift, it dried and the skin fell off, the fleur-de-lis crumpled into flakes of my body that disappeared into the canerows.

Mamere was wrong.

I belonged to anyone who could catch me or buy me. But I would never love anyone, and no one would love me but her. I knew each night and morning, her fierce African prayers rose and drifted into the water, the rivers and bayous and the rain, and stayed damp in my hair.

Susan Straight's new novel, "A Million Nightingales," is published by Pantheon.

50 shades of Shutterstock

Slide show: Everyone's favorite light-bondage bestseller illustrated by inexplicable stock photography SLIDE SHOW

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50 shades of Shutterstock

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This week, for roughly the millionth time, E.L. James’ romance-bondage trilogy “50 Shades” nabs the No. 1, 2 and 3 spots on the New York Times bestseller lists. We don’t get it either. Every page of that book, which famously began as “Twilight” fan fiction, elicits a sigh of confusion and weird secondary embarrassment. The question is: Who would read this? (The answer is: Apparently everyone.) It’s the same baffled, helpless feeling we get when we sort through stock photos on a daily basis. Stock photos – which have been the subject of recent outstanding Internet satire – are used by this site, and many others, to illustrate our flood of content. Many are plain and simple, but a good portion are flat-out mind-blowing. Why did anyone think that photo was a good idea? It only made sense to join these forces. And so, we present to you passages from the most head-scratching bestseller of our time, illustrated with the assistance of inexplicable stock photography.

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Megaphone by Natalie Bakopoulos

Miracles happen, even in an Athens crippled by a garbage strike, to a young mother unsure of her ability to love

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Megaphone by Natalie Bakopoulos (Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign)

It’s the third week of the garbage strike and Athens has begun to smell. Bright-colored trash bags fill the curbs and alleyways, and we have learned to step over the rubbish and avoid the blocks that had become unnavigable. We know which stretches are particularly foul — a stretch along Mavili Square, or the entire top end of Monastiraki. Odos Athinas is a sea of trash, and Omonia is ghastly but we don’t go there anyway. May has gone from unseasonably cool to raging hot, and the garbage seems to be melting. In front of the museum it’s like yet another installation project. When I arrive each morning I want to wretch.

My 5-year-old son, Alekos, sits on the balcony of our apartment. Visible from there are pine trees and details of other people’s lives, audible are the sounds of morning, the birds above and voices below. Evenings, Alekos lies on the divan on the balcony in his pajamas, watching the moon. He is obsessed with it, and his father made him a playlist of all the Greek songs that mention it. When he was smaller he’d stare at the moon until he fell asleep.

This morning, though, Alekos lies flat on the ground, peering down through the slats of the railing, staring at the trash. Next to him is his iPad ­– a gift from his father, and yes, I know, but his father doesn’t live with us and what can you do?­ — and now he favors bad pop music like the older kids at school. So I’m surprised this morning when I hear the sounds of Elmo counting. He’s embarrassed by this favorite YouTube clip­­ – it’s for babies, he says ­­­­– but it comforts him. The tension these days is overwhelming.

Alekos looks up when he sees me, furrows his brow, and tells me if he were a deputy like his father, he’d force everyone to clean up the garbage. “And to make a new government,” he says.

I tell him that would be nice.

“At least I can fly,” he says. He is wearing the Spider-Man costume my sister brought him from the States.

I tell him Spider-Man jumps and leaps and sticks to things. He doesn’t fly. “Besides,” I quickly add, thinking of all the balconies around us. “You’re not Spider-Man.” Even I have wondered what it might be like to jump from one to the next. I smooth his light hair, which is growing long. “You need a haircut,” I say.

I hold out two polos, one white, one blue, so he feels he has a choice. He pulls the blue shirt over the costume, and I hope that his teachers aren’t too upset by this because I am too exhausted to argue with him.

Outside, the trash has piled up, and Alekos can’t get into the car from the curb. I tell him I’ll pull the car up so he can get in without pushing his way through the refuse. He wrinkles his nose at the smell. But when I get to the driver’s side, Alekos is no longer standing there.

Instead he is floating 12 feet above the curb, his Spider-Man-clad arms stretched out like wings.

Alekos,” is all I can say, “get down.” He swoops over to me, hovering just above my reach, and finally glides gracefully to my feet as if he has been practicing this move for months. Bending down to face him and gripping the straps of his backpack, I have the panicked feeling that if I let go he will fly away.

“How long has this been going on?” I whisper. “Tell me.”

One old man walks past us with his hands behind his back and says nothing. He barely notices us. Across the street a woman hurries along in heels, yelling into her phone. No one else is around.

Alekos shrugs, aloof, and looks away with those dark eyes, almost black, like his father’s. “I tried to tell you.”

“Does Babas know about this?” I ask, suddenly sure his father would keep this from me, just the way he failed to mention his girlfriend was staying the night, reading Alekos bedtime stories when he stayed there. Oh, the flying? I thought you knew?

“No,” Alekos says.

“Just at home, OK?” I say. I don’t want to alarm him, but I want to be firm.

He digs in his backpack and tells me he saw his father on the news that morning. This is one reason I don’t like him to watch television at all. For the rest of the drive, we’re quiet.

“I know I’m not Spider-Man,” he says finally, when we arrive.

“OK,” I say. “Do you fly at school?” I ask.

“No.” He looks at me in the rearview mirror, completely incredulous. “Nobody does.”

He gets out of the car and hurries off to meet some other kids, who admire his Spider-Man arms as if they are tattooed. I wait for him to turn around and wave but he doesn’t, and for a moment it seems his feet levitate off the ground. But maybe I am imagining it; he walks in, one foot after the other, like everyone else. I park at the metro station and take the train into the city center, turning up the ringer on my phone.

I call his father three times but get his voice mail. I text him to call me. He texts me an hour later — Ola kala? — and I trip over a split-open trash bag, as if these sidewalks weren’t already treacherous enough. I answer, Yes, everything’s fine. This will have to wait until we are face to face, which is not often.

We met when I was teaching art classes on Paros one summer. I soon got pregnant, and we didn’t get married, but I stayed in Greece. I think he still resents me for not marrying him. To be honest, I can’t even remember my reasons. It all seems like another lifetime, decades ago, when Athens felt proud and vibrant those few years after the Olympics.

A few more messages come from him but I’m busy and don’t answer. Then, when I’m outside the museum, finishing my installation, he shows up.

“You don’t call me three times in a row with no message,” he says, frustrated. “You barely call me at all, unless the kid is on fire.”

No, not fire, I think.

He surveys my project, one giant megaphone outside the  museum, the size of a kiosk, with cameras inside that will film street activity and project it onto a screen inside. Tiny figurines in various stages of undress shoot out from the megaphone, suspended by invisible wire. I’ve compiled old Greek footage of both celebrations and protests, which will air inside the museum, and the outdoor footage will be superimposed on those old clips. I wonder if anyone is inside now, watching us, or what we’re matched with: a hectic street scene, a political rally, a brilliant August moon?

“I like it,” he says, in English, in that supportive tone he uses when he doesn’t know what to say about my work but wants to convey he approves.

“Oh, stop it,” I say.

“And with the garbage,” he says. “A nice touch.”

And the two of us laugh, the first time we have laughed together in a long time, since before the elections, since before the crisis, probably not since Alekos was an infant and we marveled at every smile and uttered “word.” Suddenly I think I should have thought to make those tiny figures children, with wings. I wonder why I didn’t think of it before, why it always takes the manifestation of something so crazy to make me realize something so simple.

“Let me take you for a coffee,” he says, “or something stronger? We can sit outside, where it’s quiet.” The trash stench is so bad that everyone sits inside, smoking.

“You have time for that?” I ask, knowing he doesn’t. I can hear his phone buzzing in his pocket. “I should keep working.”

One night, right before these last elections, he came to pick Alekos up and he kissed me when Alekos went to grab his toys. “Not yet,” I said. My attempt at self-preservation while the rest of the country implodes. It’s hard enough just to be friends.

“OK,” he said then. “We’ll get there, one day.”

Now, I lean into him a moment. Together we survey what I’ve made. I want to tell him, Our son can fly. I want to tell him, Stay.

“Are we there yet,” he says quietly, distantly, not as question but statement, and he rests his chin on my head and looks out into the street: the sleepy shops, the political posters pasted over the boarded-up kiosks, the hot afternoon sun beating down on it all. “Are we?”

And then my phone is ringing­­ — it’s the school office — and I know of course what has happened. I imagine Alekos flying around his classroom like an angry bee, out into the schoolyard, beyond the trash, beyond the protests and our land in limbo. Or maybe he is more relaxed, gliding effortlessly the way I fly in my dreams, his superhero costume and sandy hair glowing in the afternoon sun, until he finds us here, his parents who don’t know where we are or where we’re going, and taking us up with him, catapulting us into the vast unknown. Our images would flicker on the screen inside, soaring above that old footage of our shattered, magnificent city.

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Natalie Bakopoulos's first novel, "The Green Shore," will be published by Simon & Schuster in June 2012. Her work has appeared in Tin House, Ninth Letter, Granta Online, and The O. Henry Prize Stories 2010, and she is a contributing editor for the online journal Fiction Writers Review.

Almost by Chris Pavone

She never thought of herself as ambitious, until motherhood and career collided in one horrifying hospital ride

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Almost by Chris Pavone (Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign)

It’s just before dawn when Isabel puts the final page down on the fat stack of paper that sits on the rumpled bedspread, next to an overflowing crystal ashtray and a crumpled soft-pack of cigarettes. She’d tried Wellbutrin and Xanax; she’d used patches and gum. In the end, the only thing that made her quit smoking was being pregnant.

But then, after everything, she couldn’t help but start up again. At first it was just a single cigarette per day, or two. Then it became a few, and within months she was back to full-throttle. Over the past couple of years, she’s tried to quit a few times, but not seriously. She anticipates — she accepts — failure. Because she doesn’t want to quit, not really. She wants instead to try, and fail.

Isabel picks up the manuscript with both hands, flips it over, and uses her thumbs to align the pages. She takes a deep breath, lets out a long sigh.

Another night lying in bed, working. She’d fallen asleep at 11, then woke sometime after 2, her mind unquiet. But it wasn’t until 3 that she admitted she was awake. She then picked up a manuscript and a pencil, and started working, page after page, all through the desperate hours. Vaguely reminiscent of those days when Nicky was an infant, in the middle of the night, sleep-deprived, awake in a dormant world. The small hours when a blanket of quiet smothers the city, but through the moth-eaten holes there’s the occasional lowing of a railroad in New Jersey, the distant Dopplered wail of an ambulance siren. Then the inevitable thump of the newspaper on the doormat, the end of the idea of night, even though it’s still dark out.

She stares across the room, off into the black nothingness of the picture window on the opposite wall, its severe surface barely softened by the half-drawn shades, an aggressive void invading the serene cocoon of her bedroom. The room is barely lit by a small bullet-shaped reading sconce mounted over the headboard, aiming a beam of light directly at the top of her head, creating a halo in the reflection in the window. An angel. Except she’s not.

Isabel shuffles into the dark hall, flips the light switch. She turns on the kitchen lights, and the coffee — switched from auto-on, which is set to start brewing an hour from now, to on — and the small television on the counter. Filling the lonely apartment with humming electronic life.

The coffee machine hisses and sputters, big plops falling into the tempered glass. She watches the contraption’s clock, changing from 5:48 to 5:49. Grabs the plastic handle of the carafe and fills the mug with hot, viscous, bitter, bracing caffeination. She takes a small sip, then a larger one.

She walks down the hall, lined with the photographs that she’d unearthed four years ago, when she was moving out of her matrimonial apartment, into this single-woman space in a new neighborhood, far from the painful memories of her home — of her life — downtown, where she’d been running into too many mothers, often with their children. Women she’d known from the playgrounds and the toy stores and the mommy-and-me music classes, from the gyms and grocers and coffee shops, from preschool drop-off and the waiting room at the pediatrician’s. All those other little children growing older, getting bigger.

So she’d bought herself a one-bedroom in an uptown full-service building, the type of apartment that a woman chooses when she reconciles herself that she’s not going to be living with another human being, probably forever. That she’s making her loneliness comfortable. Palliative care.

She lined this nice new hallway with framed photos. There she is, herself, a smiling little toddler. And with her mother on the first day of second grade. At college graduation with her two best friends. There are her grandparents, at the final family reunion before they both died, within weeks of each other. Isabel in a big white dress, aglow, in the middle of the panoramic-lens group shot. A much smaller print, lying in a hospital bed, beaming at Nicky in her arms, tiny and red and angry in his swaddling blanket and blue cap. A grainy shot of herself onstage in a little black dress, accepting an award, beaming again, but not as wide. Some joys aren’t as joyous as others.

It was more than possible — it was inevitable — to blame herself, her ambition, even though she’d never thought of herself as especially ambitious. But everyone has important moments, in any job, at any level of ambition. In the Supreme Court or a fourth-grade classroom, on an assembly line or a fishing boat, there are crucial days.

For Isabel the literary agent, this day was dominated by an auction she was running for a hotly anticipated second novel, whose author needed a lot of hand-holding, and whose bidders kept increasing their offers every half-hour, from mid-five figures to high-sixes in the course of the day. This lucrative 9-to-6 was followed by a 7 o’clock black-tie that included an honor for, and an interminable speech by, a different author of hers. So this frantic day, it featured a wardrobe change. And the evening portion was just as important work as the daytime; just because there was liquor and food and fancy dress didn’t mean it wasn’t work.

The nanny called a couple times during Isabel’s 16 hours at work, worrying that Nicky’s cold or flu or whatever was getting worse. Dave was away on a business trip, and Isabel didn’t want Lupe to be the one to go to the doctor with Nicky; the nanny’s English would be generously described as weak, and sometimes that mattered. So Isabel made an appointment for first thing the next morning. Anyone would’ve done the same thing.

Isabel returned home after midnight, exhausted. She thanked Lupe and sent her home in a taxi, and let her cocktail dress fall to the floor, and collapsed into bed.

She was awakened at dawn by the screaming. Nicky was burning up, 106. She rushed downstairs with the boy in her arms, and ran around the block, panting and desperate, until she found a taxi.  “Don’t worry, Sweetie,” she said. “We’ll be at the doctor’s in a minute.” The hospital was only a mile away.

The taxi peeled away from the curb, the eerie blue light washing over the dingy white garbage trucks, the Mexican kids swabbing down the sidewalks in front of all-night delis, the street-cart vendors positioning their pastries in front of office buildings, the joggers with reflective stripes down their shorts, the normal business of a city’s day starting, coming to life.

“Are we there yet?” Nicky asked, as he had so many times. From the back seat of the shiny SUV that was cleaned every week by the guys in the garage, on their way out to the weekend house in East Hampton, back when her life looked like something to be envied. He had said it on the way to visit Dave’s parents in Oyster Bay, or hers upstate in the Hudson Valley. While heading to Vermont, for a ski weekend; to Cape Cod, to visit friends; to the Bronx Zoo and the Brooklyn Aquarium, Yankee Stadium and Citi Field. It was something the little boy asked, all the time.

But this was the last time.

In the back of the moldy-smelling taxi she pushed the fever-damp hair off her son’s hot forehead. “Nearly,” she said. He shut his eyes, and then slipped silently into a coma, there on the slippery silver vinyl seat of the taxi.

An hour later, Nicky was dead. A supervirus, said the young doctor, who had been up all night, up for who knows how long, working; he was tired and frustrated, and perhaps not as tactful as he could’ve been.

At the end of the hall Isabel stops at the spotlit photograph, a small black-and-white in the center of a vast expanse of stark white matting. A little boy, her baby, laughing on a rocky beach, running out of gentle surf, holding a little toy hammer. Isabel reaches her hand to her lips, plants a kiss on her fingers, and transfers the kiss to the little boy. As she does every morning.

There was, the doctor added, almost nothing she could’ve done. Almost.

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Memorial Day fiction: Are we there yet?

Salon exclusive: At the start of the summer fiction season, new stories from Chris Pavone and Natalie Bakopoulos

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Memorial Day fiction: Are we there yet? (Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign)

“Are we there yet?”

It’s a dreaded sentence. When it’s spoken by an anxious child from the back seat, it’s enough to make stressed-out parents wish they’d never taken a family vacation in the first place. And even if it’s delivered as a sing-songy punch line, from an impatient partner or spouse on a long road trip, it’s an irritating eye-roller of a joke.

So this Memorial Day weekend — the unofficial start of the summer vacation season, and therefore the summer fiction season — we asked two novelists to reclaim the sentence in a new and adult context. For our latest fiction project, there was only one simple rule: Each story had to include the line “Are we there yet?” in a fresh and surprising way.

Our authors are two people you should be taking to the beach with you this summer. Chris Pavone is the author of “The Expats,” the New York Times best-selling thriller with more satisfying twists than the Pacific Coast Highway. Natalie Bakopoulos is the author of “The Green Shore,” one of 2012′s most anticipated debut novels, a beautiful family drama that is set during another Greek crisis — the 1967 military coup.

To read the stories, just follow the links below:

“Megaphone” by Natalie Bakopoulos

“Almost” by Chris Pavone

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David Daley is the senior culture editor of Salon.

“Frankenstein” remixed

This masterful new adaptation of Mary Shelley's classic novel may be the best interactive fiction yet

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This originally appeared on The Chimerist, a site devoted to the intersection of art, stories, and technology.

Whatever interactive fiction is (and we’re still figuring that out) it suffers from all the problems of traditional fiction and then some. The vast majority of novels and short stories aren’t much good, but when a branching fiction — along the lines of the old “Choose Your Own Adventure” children’s books — fails to engage, the first impulse is to blame the form rather than the content. Let “Frankenstein,” just released by Inkle Studios and Profile Books, serve as a reproach to that reflex. The app is a creative, subtle and sensitive adaptation of Mary Shelley’s classic novella, and it has singlehandedly renewed this critic’s hopes for interactive fiction.

What this “Frankenstein” isn’t is a replication of the source text with the addition of a lot of digital doohickeys like sound effects and illustrations that animate when tapped. The app is all about the text, even if it is beautifully framed by period art and anatomical illustrations. The reader is presented with a screenful of narration and then offered one or more responses to it. The preferred response, when tapped, delivers up another screen of text. (In an absurdly pleasing visual touch, these appear as sheets of paper fasted together by straight pins.) According to the press materials, the reader’s responses will shape the way the narrative is presented, although not to the degree of substantively changing the plot.

This is an important point. The pleasure of storytelling lies in the dynamic between the surprising and the inevitable. The reader wants to feel the story is going somewhere, that its events follow from each other in meaningful, but not too obvious ways. When a story can go anywhere, it feels meaningless. In Mary Shelley’s novella, which is saturated with the Western tradition of the tragedy, Viktor Frankenstein’s character is such that he must create a monster, and the monster’s body is such that he can never belong among human beings however much he yearns to. A “Frankenstein” that ended with either misfit finding a comfortable place in the world would be a travesty.

But that doesn’t mean the reader doesn’t long for the story to unfold otherwise; that’s the nature of tragedy. The great insight that writer Dave Morris brings to this adaptation of the novel is that while a reader cannot significantly change the outcome of the story, the interactive element can change the shading and flavor of the tale. It can be mournful and reflective or action-packed. The creature and his creator can show greater or lesser ambivalence about their own behaviors. The ambiguity of both figures is baked into Mary Shelley’s novella, and while Morris has nearly doubled the word count of the original, this mostly amounts to playing up or down what’s already there.

Morris — a novelist who has written graphic novels, games and, yes, Choose-Your-Own-Adventure stories for kids — has changed the original text in other ways, as well. (Let’s take a moment here to point out to all future narrative app developers that hiring a real writer who actually knows what he or she is doing is totally worth it.) He’s moved the setting to revolutionary France, a choice that shows shrewd understanding of the idealistic political climate that affected Shelley’s thinking; the new Republic is its own kind of Frankenstein’s monster. He’s also eliminated much of the 19th-century framing of the tale and converted it into two present-tense narrations. One is Frankenstein’s dialogue with either himself or a (possibly imaginary) companion. The other is a second-person account of the monster’s first weeks of life as it spies on a family of dispossessed French nobility and has the chance to observe the loving relationships it can never enjoy itself.

Morris presents the reader with choices I’ve not encountered in other interactive fictions. Is humanity mostly good, or mostly evil? Does the most recent development make you (the monster) feel hope or despair? Is the revolution the dawn of a brave new world or a descent into chaos and barbarity? While I’m usually skeptical that present-tense narration increases the “immediacy” of a story, in this case, it really does work, particularly in the sections concerning the monster. Depending on your own outlook, you may urge him to keep trying to connect with humanity, or promptly forward him on to homicidal rage.

In either case, the narrative is shaped not by the reader deciding to turn left or right, to go down into the cellar or to get out of the house — the usual actions offered on the choose-your-own menu. Instead, the options have more to do with personality and interpretation, beliefs and ideas. As a result of the reader’s choices, the characters seem more like him- or herself, with a concurrent ratcheting up of emotional investment. To my surprise, I found myself more moved by this adaptation of the Shelley novel than I have been by the source text. (Although the app does include the original if you want to compare and contrast.) This is the only interactive fiction I’ve ever read with that quintessential, old-fashioned readerly avidity: the hunger to know what happens next. Of course, I already knew, but that didn’t matter at all.

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Laura Miller

Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com.

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