The Fix

Trump gets set for Wrestlemania. Penelope Cruz and Josh Hartnett? Plus: Rowan Atkinson laughs "once every five years."

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First Word

Diddy pulls a Sting: P. Diddy bragged to a London tabloid that he had tantric sex with girlfriend Kim Porter for “at least 30 hours” on their recent trip to Paris. The rap mogul with the ever-changing moniker claimed: “As meticulous as I am with my work, I’m more meticulous with my lovemaking.” (TMZ)

Stand-up Bush and MC Rove: Nothing at Wednesday night’s Radio and Television Correspondents’ Association dinner matched Stephen Colbert’s performance at last year’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, but there was something great in seeing Karl Rove brought up onstage for an improvised rap in which he played MC Rove and jumped around a lot. (You can watch the performance here.) President Bush was in a joking mood, too: “A year ago my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn, and my vice president had shot someone,” he quipped. “Ah, those were the good ol’ days.” He made light of the prosecutor firing scandal as well, saying, “I have to admit we really blew the way we let those attorneys go. You know you’ve botched it when people sympathize with lawyers.” (Politico, Crooks and Liars, Associated Press)

Battle of the billionaires: Donald Trump and WWE chairman Vince McMahon are set to battle it out at “Wrestlemania 23″ this Sunday. Both will have a WWE superstar fight in their stead, and the loser will have to shave his head. But Trump isn’t the sort of man to wait around backstage. At a press conference, Trump lashed out at McMahon, saying, “We used to be (friends) but I don’t like him one damn bit lately and I mean that.” Then, just as the two were supposed to shake hands, Trump slapped McMahon in the face. The WWE chairman was then pummeled by Trump’s security guards. (TMZ)

Talker

My first cellphone: The new parenting debate: How young is too young for a cellphone? As the New York Times reports today, cellphone ownership among elementary school students is up sharply. Some statistics: “After securing a foothold in the teenage market, cellphones are quickly emerging as the must-have techno-toy among elementary-school society … Industry analysts say the ‘tween market, defined as 8- to 12-year-olds, represents one of the major growth opportunities for the wireless industry … The number of 8-year-olds with phones more than doubled to 506,000 over the past four years while the number of 9-year-olds jumped to 1.25 million from 501,000.” (“Child Wants Cellphone; Reception Is Mixed,” New York Times)

White noise . . . Former Jane magazine editor Jane Pratt claimed on her satellite radio show this week that she once hooked up with a famous starlet: “I did have sex with Drew Barrymore.” (Socialite Life) … The new cover image for the final Harry Potter book (right) has been revealed. (Associated Press) … Rumor has it that Padma Lakshmi is leaving her husband, Salman Rushdie — the couple’s friend Diane von Furstenberg was recently overheard talking about it, saying, “I can’t believe she’s leaving him.” (Page Six) … Penélope Cruz and Josh Hartnett were spotted getting all “touchy-feely” at a restaurant in Los Angeles recently, according to In Touch magazine. (Rush & Molloy) … David Duchovny confirmed this week that he’s in negotiations for a movie version of “The X-Files,” and that Gillian Anderson will return as Agent Scully if the movie gets a green light. (Los Angeles Times)

; )

“Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Confesses to Confessing Under Torture” (The Onion)

Buzz Index

“I don’t laugh very much at all. I smile and I am enjoying myself but I don’t laugh out loud, hardly ever — maybe once every five years.”

You Might Also Like

– Brit Rowan Atkinson — best known as Mr. Bean — on keeping the laughs to himself. (Contact Music)

Numbers

Billboard album charts:
1. “We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank,” Modest Mouse (129,000 copies)
2. “Introducing Joss Stone,” Joss Stone (118,000 copies)
3. “Elliott Yamin,” Elliott Yamin (90,000 copies)
4. “Daughtry,” Daughtry (76,000 copies)
5. “Veteran,” Marques Houston (69,000 copies)
(Billboard)

This Thursday, there’s a five-episode marathon of “The Office” (NBC, 8 p.m. EDT), Placido Domingo stars in the premiere broadcast of Chinese composer Tan Dun’s opera in “Great Performances at the Met” (PBS, check local listings), Annabelle Gurwitch documents the difficulties of being snubbed by Hollywood in “Fired!” (Showtime, 8:30 p.m. EDT), and Ira Glass’ “This American Life” (Showtime, 10:30 p.m. EDT) follows up last week’s premiere with a new episode featuring a 14-year-old boy who has decided that he will never, ever fall in love.

Talk

SHOW GUESTS
Regis and Kelly (ABC, 9 a.m. EDT) Dustin Hoffman, John O’Hurley (repeat)
The View (ABC, 11 a.m. EDT) Jonathan Rhys Meyers, guest co-host Marcia Gay Harden
Ellen (Syndicated, check local listings) Diane Keaton (repeat)
Oprah (Syndicated, check local listings) Why I cut off my breasts
Charlie Rose (PBS, check local listings) Jessica Mathews, Kanan Makiya
Larry King (CNN, 9 p.m. EDT) TBA
Jon Stewart (Comedy Central, 11 p.m. EDT) Philip Zimbardo
Stephen Colbert (Comedy Central, 11:30 p.m. EDT) Clive James
David Letterman (CBS, 11:30 p.m. EDT) Rosario Dawson, Bloc Party
Jay Leno (NBC, 11:35 p.m. EDT) Campbell Brown, Will Arnett, Dave Koz, Johnny Mathis
Jimmy Kimmel (ABC, 12:05 a.m. EDT) Kiele Sanchez, Josh Gardner
Conan O’Brien (NBC, 12:35 a.m. EDT) Martha Stewart, Brian Posehn, My Morning Jacket (repeat)
Craig Ferguson (CBS, 12:35 a.m. EDT) Jeff Goldblum, Nia Long, Papa Roach

 

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Fix contributors: Dipayan Gupta, Heather Havrilesky, Scott Lamb, Kerry Lauerman, David Marchese, Laura Miller, Andrew O’Hehir, Amy Reiter, Stephanie Zacharek

Fix logo by Rhonda Rubinstein

Scott Lamb is a senior editor at BuzzFeed.com.

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