2008 Elections

Fred Thompson’s biggest role yet

In Orange County, the ex-Tennessee senator, "Law and Order" star and possible '08 contender acts presidential for a night.

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Fred Thompson's biggest role yet

Former Sen. Fred Thompson is a big man, broad shouldered, maybe 6 feet 4 inches, with hands like Sasquatch and a bald head like a bowling ball. When he acts on television or in the movies, he gets picked for fearless authoritarian roles that fit his large and in-charge stature. He’s “Law and Order’s” District Attorney Arthur Branch. He’s “Die Hard 2: Die Harder’s” head of air traffic control. He’s “The Hunt For Red October’s” Rear Adm. Josh Painter, who quips to Alec Baldwin in a low Tennessee drawl, “Russians don’t take a dump, son, without a plan.”

So it was odd Friday night to see this lawyer turned actor turned lobbyist turned senator turned actor turned probable presidential candidate flee down a Southern California hotel corridor to escape the questions of a limping New York Times reporter. The scribe had been waiting for about 20 minutes, chain-smoking while Thompson gave an interview in a nearby room to Fox News. After finishing a second interview with a local newspaper reporter, Thompson tried to make an escape out a back door.

The evasive action seemed out of character. But then Thompson is still reading scripts and mulling the biggest role of his life. He hasn’t yet accepted the part of presidential candidate. To date, his handlers have been careful to feed him mostly to friendly conservative media outlets, who are happy to fan the Thompson mystique without any jarring questions. In these interviews, he alternates between his country-fried Ronald Reagan act and traitor-baiting the Democrats. “They are taking extremist positions and doing extremist things,” he recently told Fox’s Sean Hannity. “They are as near to investing in the defeat of their country as anything I have ever seen.” He showed off his Cuban cigars to a writer for the Weekly Standard, and began signing his name to columns in the National Review on topics like gun ownership and the need for Western civilization “to get a little backbone.”

This is all political throat-clearing, not presidential campaigning. But it appears to be having an effect. In April, five national polls placed him in the top three of the Republican primary candidates with New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani and Arizona Sen. John McCain. “What I’m seeing is something I have never seen before in 21 years,” says Bob Davis, the head of the Tennessee Republican Party and a close Thompson advisor. “Here’s a guy who has not spent one dollar, and he is showing up in some places second in these national polls, and he is winning some of these straw polls.” Roughly one in three Republicans still say they are dissatisfied with their presidential choices, compared to one in six Democrats. Thompson seems to think he might be a big enough man to fill that void.

“You ever wonder why when our problems seem to be getting larger, so many of our politicians seem to be getting smaller,” said Thompson, looming over the podium at the Lincoln Club of Orange County’s annual dinner on Friday. He had come to make a sort of inaugural policy speech for his undeclared campaign, attracting about 50 credentialed media types. The setting was the Balboa Bay Club, a redoubt of the wealthy and white on Southern California’s yacht-lined coast. O.C. Republicans have a storied history as kingmakers. Their money helped launch Richard Nixon’s presidential comeback in 1968 and Ronald Reagan’s gubernatorial campaign in 1966. The Lincoln Club’s endorsement effectively cleared the field of other candidates for the current Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger.

But Thompson’s address to the crowd was decidedly low-key, with no mention of inflammatory social issues and only broad hints at a policy framework. He said he would keep taxes low and fix Social Security by telling “Mom and Dad and Grandma and Granddad” to make sacrifices for their offspring. He said the borders must be sealed to solve immigration and American troops must stay in Iraq “as long as we have any chance there.” He warned of mushroom clouds in American cities and military buildups in Russia and China. “Even though we won’t be going around in the woods trying to find any bears to kill, sometimes the bear comes to visit you,” he said, in the unmistakable voice of Arthur Branch, Adm. Painter and that guy from the flight control tower in “Die Hard.”

But the substance of his speech wasn’t policy. It was his easy style and stature, his obvious charisma. He spoke in a conversational manner, often with one hand in his pocket, barely looking at his notes. He criticized the “professional politician,” and compared the Cold War to a rodeo. Thompson’s defining feature as a politician is that he comes across like the parts he plays in movies. “Fred, he is what he appears to be,” explained a prominent Tennessee Democrat. “I don’t think he ever comes out of character.” This description, which came from a political foe, explains a careful trick of Thompson’s career. Either he is never acting, and just plays himself in movies and television, or he is always acting. There is only one character there.

In interviews, Thompson describes himself as an actor who doesn’t have to act. “That’s the strength of Ronald Reagan,” he told the Orange County Register, in one of the two interviews allowed after the event Friday. “He was almost the anti-actor. People say he was the ‘great communicator’ because of his acting background. Just the opposite. He was the great communicator because he believed in what he was saying and that came across as genuine and authentic. And he stood by those beliefs. The camera doesn’t lie.”

Of course, the camera does lie. Hollywood is built on the premise that it lies very well. But as a political maxim, such assertions have great staying power. Whether it was Reagan in 1980, Bill Clinton in 1992, or George W. Bush in 2000, the candidate who appeared most down-home and authentic on camera, despite other evidence to the contrary, won the election. There’s little doubt that Thompson’s side job as an actor will aid him on the trail. “He’s been a law-and-order type of guy,” says Davis, his friend and advisor.

Born in Alabama, Thompson came of age in Tennessee, the son of a used-car dealer. He married young, at the age of 17, and graduated from law school at Vanderbilt. His work for Sen. Howard Baker led him to Washington, where he served as the minority counsel on the Senate Watergate Committee, famously asking the question on live television that led to the discovery of Nixon’s listening devices at the White House. Like his boss Baker, he earned a reputation as a good-government investigator, more interested in ferreting out corruption than partisan loyalty. After returning to Tennessee, where he became a private attorney, he helped uncover a parole-buying scandal. That earned him his first movie role — in a film about the scandal in which he played himself. He then worked for more than a decade as a lawyer and Washington lobbyist, representing companies like General Electric.

In 1994 he decided to run for Al Gore’s vacated Senate seat. But rather than run on his Washington experience, he presented himself as a local boy, with blue jeans and a red pickup truck, who opposed the Washington establishment. The act worked. Upon his return to Washington, he legislated for eight years as a consistently conservative Republican, albeit with a reformist streak when it came to government inefficiency and signs that he could still ignore party labels when it counted. In 1997, Thompson led a Senate investigation into potentially illegal foreign contributions to the 1996 Clinton campaign, an inquiry that he expanded to include prominent Republicans like Haley Barbour, who is now the governor of Mississippi.

After co-chairing McCain’s failed 2000 presidential campaign, Thompson announced he planned to run for reelection in 2002. But then his 38-year-old daughter, Elizabeth Panici, died suddenly of a reportedly accidental drug overdose, which left high levels of an addictive painkiller in her bloodstream. Weeks later, Thompson decided against seeking another term and chastised the press for snooping into his family’s affairs. “I simply do not have the heart for another six-year term,” Thompson told the Tennessean newspaper in Nashville.

Now that he is heading toward a White House run, with a likely decision coming in the next couple of months, Thompson has opened himself up to a number of questions about his past, which has never before been scrutinized in detail. If he joins the race, he will be the least-examined candidate in the top tier of the Republican field. Opposition researchers have already sprung into action. “There are people down here in Tennessee right now,” said Davis. “There are people looking over at different places where we’ve got papers. But so be it.” Thompson recently disclosed that he has a treatable form of lymphoma that is in remission. At a meeting with House Republicans, Thompson reportedly admitted to an eventful dating life after his divorce in 1985. “I chased a lot of women,” he said. “And a lot of women chased me.” In 2002, shortly after dropping out of politics, he married his second wife, Jeri, a Tennessee political consultant 25 years his junior. The 64-year-old Thompson now has two children under 5.

But the big questions of a potential Thompson candidacy have yet to be asked and answered. Why reenter politics now, just five years after saying he had lost his passion for politics? How will he distinguish himself in the crowded Republican field? Will he run as a uniter, as he claimed at the Balboa Club, or as a divider, who accuses Democrats of “investing in defeat,” as he did on Fox News? What does he think of the current president’s failures? How far to the right is he willing to shift to get votes in the primary? Is there substance there, or is he merely playing another part?

At the moment, the larger-than-life Thompson is walking away from those big questions. But his strategy cannot last for long, as the New York Times reporter Marc Santora made clear on Friday, chasing Thompson down one long hallway, and then another, before Thompson and his entourage made it into the Balboa Club lobby and promptly disappeared. Santora was nursing a foot injury, a fact that allowed Thompson to escape. But further scrutiny still trails him. Unless he drops out as a presidential candidate, the actor will soon have to prove that he is more than just an act.

Michael Scherer is Salon's Washington correspondent. Read his other articles here.

Nicolle Wallace’s Palin lesson: Make better stunt Veep picks

A running mate should be prepared, and maybe not about to be indicted (according to rumors)

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Nicolle Wallace's Palin lesson: Make better stunt Veep picksNicolle Wallace (Credit: ABC)

“Game Change” is a movie about how longtime Republican Party communications hack Nicolle Wallace and longtime Republican Party campaign hack Steve Schmidt actually have souls, and brains, and hence feel quite bad for accidentally being responsible for the creation of Sarah Palin, national monster. (Neither felt any qualms about working to get the most irresponsible warmonger currently serving in the Senate elected president, but Sarah Palin was nuts!)

So Wallace, following a 92nd Street Y panel last night, said this:

“There will be pressure to elevate a woman but there will be an equal amount of pressure to pick someone who is prepared,” Wallace said.

And then she said this:

Wallace flagged one female official in particular who she thinks would be a good choice this year.

“Nikki Haley — she’s great,” she said. “She’s the most effective surrogate Romney has.”

If the Sarah Palin problem was a problem of preparation and vetting, Haley … might present some issues? Specifically an odd and mostly unsubstantiated sex scandal and also these rumors that she might at any moment be indicted on tax charges. The tax thing might be bullshit and the affair story was the product of a self-promoting creep but they’re “out there,” as they say.

More important, Haley has been governor of South Carolina since January of 2011. As in very slightly longer than one year. And slightly less time being a governor than Sarah Palin had in 2008. It’s almost as if Wallace is making a pick not based on the principle of Who Would Be Best For the Nation but on demographics and optics?

Wallace also apparently suggested Carly Fiorina, which, lol. Romney/Ex-CEO who famously received a giant golden parachute when she was forced out of her company 2012, everyone! Just the ticket for the new economy.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

Sarah Palin’s Hollywood ending

HBO's "Game Change" presents Palin as simply a bumbling Tina Fey -- and misses the real story of the 2008 campaign

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Sarah Palin's Hollywood endingJulianne Moore as Sarah Palin in HBO's "Game Change" (Credit: HBO Films)

HBO’s “Game Change,” airing this Saturday, is not actually an adaption of the book “Game Change,” by Mark Halperin and John Heilemann. It is “Sarah Palin Goes Rogue,” the movie, with a couple of anecdotes borrowed from the notoriously gossipy account of the 2008 election as a whole. (Or, arguably, it’s an adaptation of Scott Conroy and Shushannah Walshe’s “Sarah From Alaska.”)

That is sort of a shame. The Palin thing is the most heavily over-covered story line of the entire 2008 campaign, so focusing on it might be totally logical from a marketing perspective, but it’s unfortunate from an artistic one. The film re-creates various moments of YouTube campaign ephemera very well — remember when that old white lady called Obama an Arab and McCain looked uncomfortable? When it takes us behind closed doors, it’s to witness scenes any moderately close observer of the election and its aftermath could’ve dreamed up him- or herself. It might have been fun to see a TV movie about the Democratic primary fight; the personality clashes of the disastrous Clinton campaign would have made for entertaining television, and Mark Penn is surely a creature crying out for a grotesque Emmy-winning portrayal by, say, Paul Giamatti.

Instead, McCain has won the nomination three-and-a-half minutes into the film. Soon we’re watching Julianne Moore watch Tina Fey on TV. You remember the “SNL” sketches making fun of Palin, right? In case you don’t, “Game Change” airs lengthy chunks from most of them. It also has tons of actual footage from CNN and MSNBC and Fox News, and it re-creates debates and speeches and the Couric interview and the Charlie Gibson interview and a bunch of other things you saw either live or on YouTube when they happened.

Moore’s performance is not just fair but maybe even flattering. (For one thing, she doesn’t hit those flat upper Midwest vowels as gratingly as the real Palin.) Woody Harrelson plays strategist Steve Schmidt — the film’s protagonist — as a grizzled, “too old for this shit” campaign veteran called back to the trail against his better judgment. Jamey Sheridan is given barely anything to do as Mark Salter, McCain’s “conscience.” Salter, the primary author of his “Maverick” mythos, is limited, after the Palin selection, to making a hilariously over-telegraphed face of concern as everyone else in the war room applauds her first speech.

But the film is about Schmidt and Nicolle Wallace because they were pretty clearly Halperin and Heilemann’s primary sources, and we watch them become horrified by the depths of Sarah Palin’s ignorance at exactly the same time as everyone else in America became horrified by her ignorance.

Because it’s Hollywood, there’s very little politics in the film’s depiction of politics. Policies are simply things for Sarah Palin to write on note cards and not memorize. Operatives confidently declare, in faux Sorkin-ese patter, that if this or that meaningless decision is made, it means “we’ll lose by five.”

There is a sheen of faux cynicism (McCain swears like a sailor!) but it masks complete naiveté: Everyone is basically honorable and decent. Nicolle Wallace — a member of the Bush administration communications team — is sincerely alarmed at the prospect of someone as dangerously ignorant as Sarah Palin in the White House. On election night, she breaks down in tears as she admits to Schmidt that … she didn’t vote. They embrace.

The film subscribes to the simplest theory of Sarah Palin: That she is childlike, vain and incredibly ignorant but also an essentially decent person and wonderful mother. The moments that come closest to “unfair” — Sarah Palin doesn’t know that the head of Great Britain’s government is the prime minister, not the queen — are basically plausible. This isn’t Andrew Sullivan’s conniving, dangerous pathological liar. It’s an overwhelmed working mother whose most unhinged moments are explained by a crash diet. Her convention speech is largely stripped of its snarling attack lines, imagining a world in which it appealed to “the base” because of Palin’s heartfelt commitment to special-needs children and not because she was very good at saying mean things about Obama. (The film actually repeats the bullshit story that her teleprompter broke midway through, and she kept going.) Even when the film has her take a major heel turn — “if I am single-handedly carrying this campaign, I am gonna do what I want!” — after “winning” her debate with Joe Biden (played by video footage of Joe Biden), she is still basically an innocent seduced by the adoration of riled-up crowds and national attention. (Todd Palin barely does anything.)

The constant use of actual news footage adds a bit of verisimilitude but also constantly raises the question of why this lightly fictionalized version of the election actually needs to exist. “Game Change” is not really for serious political junkies, who remember all the stuff that did happen and will scoff at the stuff that didn’t. (At one point, John McCain answers his ringing iPhone in the middle of the night. He used a BlackBerry, HBO.) But if casually politically involved people want to see their assumptions about Sarah Palin reinforced, well, there are still those “SNL” sketches.

In the end, the Republican operatives who foisted Sarah Palin on an unprepared nation are rightly horrified that they created a monster, but at no point does anyone act concerned that their actual candidate was himself an angry, warmongering old crank with extremely fungible principles. Sure, Sarah Palin didn’t know what the Fed did. Do we have any proof John McCain knew what it should’ve done? Maybe everyone actually was totally unfair to poor Sarah Palin.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

Baseless Condi Rice speculation making a comeback

Updated: To celebrate its return, a brief history of this variety of pundit fantasy writing

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Baseless Condi Rice speculation making a comebackCondoleezza Rice (Credit: Reuters)

[UPDATED BELOW] Joseph Curl, former White House correspondent for the Washington Times, is bringing me back to the good old days of 2006 in his latest opinion column for the conservative paper. It’s a breathless report that Condoleezza Rice will seek the vice presidency, and it’s a classic of the genre.

Any amateur can speculate that Chris Christie will enter the presidential race, or posit a Mike Bloomberg third-party run, or imagine Hillary Clinton launching a primary challenge against Barack Obama. After all, those three have actually won elections and expressed political ambitions. It takes a real pro to decide to build buzz around someone who not only hasn’t ever run for anything, but who’s never expressed a desire to run for anything.

Rice, the national security advisor in George W. Bush’s first presidential term and secretary of state in his second, is currently a professor at Stanford with the requisite right-wing think tank fellowship. She has not said or done anything “political” in years. But Curl has been hearing things!

America’s first black female secretary of state is quietly positioning herself to be the top choice of the eventual Republican presidential nominee, ready to deliver bona fide foreign-policy credentials lacking among the candidates. The 56-year-old has recently raised her profile, releasing her memoir in November and embarking on a monthlong book tour.

After 2 1/2 years as a professor at Stanford, Miss Rice is reportedly getting “antsy” to get back into the political game. “She’s ready to go,” said one top source.

Oh, a month-long tour in support of her book about her time in the Bush administration! She must be running for vice president, along with Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney and Scott McClellan and George W. Bush.

There’s more. (And not just the part where Curl calls Rice “a spicy Rice dish” and waxes fetishistic about “her guns” being “a match for those of our first lady Michelle Obama.”)

Plus, her selection would be a giant chess move to counter the expected replacement of Vice President Joseph R. Biden with Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton. Sure, the White House denies and denies, but that should really make any political watcher more suspicious. One White House insider even told me that the position swap was the only reason Mrs. Clinton joined the administration in the first place.

Curl has so many inside scoops packed into this column! I had no idea that our first presidential running mate swap since Ford’s 1976 campaign was basically a foregone conclusion and not just a weird Beltway journalist fantasy! But yes, I can see why the still  un-chosen GOP candidate would definitely be looking pretty closely at Rice — who’s been strongly making the case for her selection by not explicitly denying interest in the position — in case Obama replaces Biden with Clinton, which he will surely do.

The column gets worse (“Funny thing is, she is, unlike Barack Obama, an ‘American black’”) but that’s not really important. What’s important is exploring how someone like Condoleezza Rice ends up a perennial name on the fantasy ticket list.

Rice has been a subject of these columns since 2005, when she became Bush’s second secretary of state, and the White House tasked communications operative Jim Wilkinson — previously known best for inventing the false story of Jessica Lynch* — with getting Rice (and her boss) some much-needed positive press. Wilkinson did his job beautifully (remember when Rice’s knee-high boots were a topic of actual serious news coverage for weeks?) and Rice began receiving the “rock star” treatment.

In the Washington Post, Glenn Kessler, author of the 2007 Rice bio “The Confidante,” summarized the exact moment of the birth of the presidential speculation:

In March 2005, before Rice sat for an interview with the Washington Times, Wilkinson slipped a note to the editorial page editor, Tony Blankley, suggesting that she be asked whether she would consider running for president. It was an audacious proposal — she had been secretary for only six weeks — but such speculation would bolster Rice’s image as a leader. (Wilkinson and Blankley said they do not recall the incident, but others present said they saw Wilkinson’s note.)

Oh, the Washington Times.

Shortly thereafter, Dick Morris wrote a book claiming — nay, insisting — that 2008 would be “Condi vs. Hillary.”

As Iraq descended into a violent civil war in 2006, Rice-for-president buzz bizarrely grew. There was enough of a false grass-roots movement for a paint-by-numbers AP trend piece with a silly nickname and everything. Tim Russert asked her point blank. As always, she said no in no uncertain terms.

Then, of course, everyone began to speculate that she’d be McCain’s running mate. Robert Novak claimed as much on Fox. Dan Senor said she was pushing for the pick on some Sunday show. Hendrik Hertzberg wrote a Talk of the Town piece on the subject! McCain and Rice both finally denied “reports” that she was angling for the spot on the ticket.

Now, I guess, it’s time to start up the rumor mill anew.

But before you put pen to paper on that column about how a Gingrich-Rice ticket would surely win moderate women in Ohio, consider this: In addition to the fact that she’s always denied wanting the job, and in addition to the fact that she was an unmitigated failure in the Bush administration, downplaying terrorism as a priority prior to 9/11 and selling the public on the Iraq invasion with untruths, Condi Rice is pro-choice.

*Update: Jon Krakauer recently rescinded his claim that Wilkinson, then a communications aide to General Tommy Franks, was responsible for the initial false Washington Post report on Lynch’s apparent heroics before her capture. Though Wilkinson was obviously involved in the PR campaign surrounding Lynch’s rescue and return to the U.S., he apparently isn’t responsible for falsifying her actions or leaking that false story to the press.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

Breitbart shock: Obama was in same place at same time as New Black Panthers

Right-wingers once again try to connect the president to a fringe group of laughable conservative boogeymen

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Breitbart shock: Obama was in same place at same time as New Black PanthersMembers of the New Black Panther Party, including, Divine Allah, left, arrive for funeral services for 13-year-old shooting victim, Tamrah Leonard, at the Friendship Baptist Church in Trenton, N.J., Saturday, June 13, 2009. (Credit: AP/Mike Derer)

Andrew Breitbart’s loud, dumb BigGovernment site has a loud, dumb story about how Barack Obama “appeared and marched with the New Black Panther Party in 2007.” The occasion was the 42nd anniversary of the march from Selma, Alabama, and in addition to Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Al Sharpton were also there, along with dozens of civil rights era luminaries and thousands of other people because it was a massive annual celebration and not actually an Obama campaign event.

The New Black Panther Party is a cartoonish fringe group of a couple guys who play “’60s radical” dress-up and say mean things about whitey for Fox cameras in order to scare old white people. They have been explicitly rejected by the old Black Panther Party. For some reason, various conservatives have dedicated themselves to proving that this weird, marginal group of Nation of Islam cast-offs is somehow supported by or deeply connected to the Democratic Party and the Obama administration in particular, because, you know, Eric Holder and Barack Obama, those are two guys who very obviously share the values of extremist anti-white proponents of racial separation.

So Breitbart “proves” something or other about the essential anti-white racistness of the Obama campaign by noting that members of the inane New Black Panther Party were spotted by cameras near Obama, at various times, and also NBPP head Malik Zulu Shabazz spoke at the event.

(Brietbart goes on to publish two pictures of the event despite the photographer withholding permission, because “The First Amendment allows photographs of such enormous public importance to see the light of day.” Good luck with that argument in court?)

Andrew C. McCarthy gleefully endorses Breitbart’s story in a breathless post at the National Review’s The Corner:

This is a shocking story, and a breathtaking indictment of the mainstream media which went out of its way to avoid vetting Obama as a candidate — and to make sure anyone who tried to do due diligence got no sunshine. A candidate who chose to appeared in the company of, say, the KKK, would have provoked relentlessly hostile media coverage and, in short order, have been marginalized as disqualified to hold responsible elective office.

If only the media had reported that some fringe weirdos also participated in this event that both Democratic candidates and thousands of other people participated in, and then the fringe weirdos sort of followed Obama around for a while. That would’ve opened America’s eyes! (I mean the media besides NPR, which did report that the NBPP was there.)

Here’s the bit of this sad, desperate reach that is the saddest and most desperate: “Andrew further reminds us that, in March 2008, the Obama campaign website posted an endorsement of Obama by the New Black Panther Party.” Whoa, did they really? Shocking if true! It is, of course, not true. It was a user-generated blog post on the Obama campaign site that the campaign removed as soon as they became aware of its existence. Because websites do not “post” things to themselves, generally, McCarthy’s statement can’t even be charitably described as technically accurate. It’s just a lie.

A random stupid incorrect Breitbart smear is worth paying attention to only to the extent that the smear threatens to bubble up to the more reputable conservative press, or Fox, or Republican elected officials. The McCarthy endorsement means keep an eye on this one!

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

Palins give free publicity to book bashing Palins

Joe McGinniss' "The Rogue" gets a big marketing boost from its subject's classic (and predictable) overreaction

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Palins give free publicity to book bashing PalinsSarah Palin

Here, according to the National Enquirer, are the shocking revelations in Joe McGinniss’ new book about Sarah Palin, “The Rogue”:

  • She has done drugs.
  • She had sex with a basketball player before she married Todd.
  • She is mean and petty.
  • She is a bad mother.
  • She had an affair after she married Todd.

There is also, obviously, some stuff about Trig’s birth, but I have not yet read the book, so I couldn’t tell you how far down the rabbit hole that goes.

Here’s my reaction to those revelations: Sarah Palin is a person! She’s done drugs and pissed people off and slept with people, like 90 percent of American humans. If Sarah Palin was smart she’d dismiss the book with a chuckle, say nobody’s perfect, laugh off the “gossip,” and move on.

Sarah Palin might not be smart.

The Palins always prefer grand self-pitying martyrdom to quiet dignity, of course, which is why picking on them can be so profitable: They will always respond, and always help you drum up more publicity for your Palin-attacking venture. Instead of depriving the book of oxygen, they launched a multimedia attack on Joe McGinniss before he’d finished the first draft, and what they accomplished was … giving him more material and ensuring that even more breathless anticipation awaited the book’s release.

Now that the book’s rollout is underway, the Palins might as well get paid for their marketing efforts. Todd Palin angrily denounced it, again accusing McGinniss of having a “creepy obsession” with Sarah Palin. Oooh, it’s so creeeepy to write an unauthorized biography of a prominent public figure, right?

How bad did the Palins allowed themselves to be trolled? Sarah Palin’s people released a statement on behalf of Brad Hanson, Todd Palin’s former business partner, with whom Sarah Palin is alleged to have carried on an extramarital affair, some years back. The statement is a blanket denial, but what does having the supposed beau directly address the press accomplish, exactly? It just drives more interest in the book’s salacious, shocking revelations about the secret life of Sarah Palin. This guy, of all guys, should be kept out of it.

I am sure that Todd and everyone else is very personally pissed off that McGinniss went to Wasilla, talked to a bunch of people who hate them, and published a book full of stories about how bad and awful they are, but blowing up publicly just sends the message that there’s stuff in the book worth getting worked up about.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

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