Baseball
The city of brotherly losers
After 9,999 defeats, baseball's Philadelphia Phillies boast the worst sports record since the Christians played the lions.
Any day now — barring a perverse and unprecedented winning streak — the Philadelphia Phillies will become the first professional franchise in any sport in any land to reach 10,000 losses. Perched at 9,999, the Phillies’ next loss against the Cards this weekend at home, or the Dodgers in L.A. next week, will put them alone at the zenith of Mt. Futility.
You’d think the Cubs would have been a lock to reach 10,000 first. Or maybe the Red Sox. They have been the most celebrated losers of the last century. But no, the Fightin’ Phils are even losers at being lovable in defeat. They have earned neither sympathy nor infamy whilst trudging to the top of the mountain of losses. With the scoreboard reading 9,999, let the celebration of ignominy commence.
That they have accomplished this feat so unspectacularly — without the romance of the underdog Cubbies or the heaving dramatics of the Red Sox — might explain, in part, why cynicism envelops the City of Brotherly Love and how its fans have become the premiere boo-birds in America. Booing your home team, in addition to your opponents, is the only surefire method of mastering the art of the boo.
Philly fans have not exactly endeared themselves to the sporting world. They are vitriolic and demonstrative, and turn spectatorship into participation; in this birthplace of American democracy, everyone gets his own soapbox. (In the winter, his own snowball, too, but the pelting of Santa at a Philadelphia Eagles game is another story, best told at Christmas.) A thick skin has evolved over the years to cover deep insecurities and a throbbing pulse of frustration. Philly fans blame no curse, no karmic force, no goat, no Babe, no “No No Nanette.”
They blame only the Phillies — brutal players and brutal managers and brutal owners.
A simple formula, you’d think, but by no means foolproof. The misbegotten Phillies have succeeded at losing so many games without any blueprint, without any intention to fail. They start out each season with the goal of winning more contests than they lose. They have succeeded in this quest less than 50 times in their 124-year history. (This year’s team boasts the blandest record imaginable — 44 wins and 44 losses — good for a middle-of-the-pack third place in the National League’s Eastern Division.)
It started badly and got worse.
Their first season, 1883, ended with 17 wins and 81 losses. Fans thought it was a fluke. A decade later found the Phils winning 52 games and losing 100. Fans were catching on. From 1918 to 1948, when baseball was the unquestioned national pastime, the Phils had losing records in all but one campaign. Fans’ expectations were scaled down. Alcohol intake was on the upswing. Hard lessons were being learned: Winning is not a naturally occurring phenomenon in Philly. Consistency breeds contempt. And dyspepsia. Maybe ulcers. The bottling up of emotions compounded psychic turmoil, so fans taught their offspring, the baby boo-birds, to sing out their scorn.
From 1951 to 1975, the Phillies finished higher than third place only twice. The Whiz Kids won the pennant in 1950 and naturally lost the World Series in four straight. That the Phillies had no black players until 1957 — a decade after Jackie Robinson broke the baseball color line — was surely a factor. And no accident. The Phils were white by design and terrible as a consequence. How bad? After the first game of the 1960 season, manager Eddie Sawyer called a press conference to say, “I’m 49 and I want to live to be 50.” He packed his bags and disappeared. The next season, the Phillies were an astounding 47 and 107.
Losing was an unavoidable part of the life cycle. As summer follows spring, as winter follows autumn. Only in Philly, it’s always a brutal summer that followed an anxious spring, and a brutal winter that followed an abbreviated, colorless fall. (“Brutal” is the most uttered two-syllable word in Philadelphia.) As other American citizens (New Yorkers mostly) had to learn that you can’t win ‘em all, Philadelphians understood, and took heart in the fact, that you can’t lose ‘em all. Until 1961, that is, when the Phils did indeed lose 23 games in a row, establishing a still unbroken modern major league record for uninterrupted failure.
The Phillies didn’t really enter the modern era, however, till Dick Allen — an angry black man with an angry bat — arrived at third base late in the 1963 season. Allen was on his way to both Rookie of the Year and MVP awards in 1964 when the Phils stunned the city, and the baseball universe, by losing 10 games in a row in September — thereby blowing an unblowable lead in a most brutal fashion. The city has never been the same. Hyperbole? Yo, cuz, you weren’t there!
The ’70s and ’80s were heavenly. Five division titles, and, in 1980, their 98th season, the Phillies finally won their first World Series. To put that into perspective, the upstart Florida Marlins and Arizona Diamondbacks have won three World Championships between them in a total of 21 seasons of existence.
After a drought, the Phillies won another pennant in 1993, only to lose to the Toronto Blue Jays in the World Series on a brutal Joe Carter home run in the sixth game. Then the ’90s saw a return to normalcy. The Phillies notched a total of 823 losses during the decade, with 1993 their sole winning season.
As it marches toward five digits of defeats, how is the city of Philadelphia dealing with its soon-to-be-newest stigma?
Local Web sites are selling T-shirts and hats and beer mugs with the number 10,000 prominently displayed. If you turn shame inside out, and slap a price on it, you might find pride. Or vice versa. PhillySucks.com is a Web site that tracks the exact seconds, minutes and days since Philly teams won their last championship. The numbers are brutal.
While no sign will be erected at Citizens Bank Park to read: “Over 10,000 Losses,” Philadelphians will not shrink from that reality. Given the time and perseverance, other teams will reach the mark — the Atlanta Braves are only some 300 losses away — but none but the Phils will ever be first. Which is fitting. They have been the worst franchise in professional sports over the longest span of time, whether you knew it or not.
Guillen’s pro-Castro candor
The Miami Marlins' manager is lucky to get a suspension. Not so long ago, he might have received a car bomb.
A contrite Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen gestures at a news conference on Tuesday. (Credit: AP/Lynne Sladky) There’s not much reason to doubt that baseball manager Ozzie Guillen admires Fidel Castro. He said so five years ago in an interview with Men’s Journal. When asked to name the toughest man he knew, Guillen replied, “Fidel Castro. He’s a bull—- dictator and everybody’s against him, and he still survives, has power. Still has a country behind him. Everywhere he goes, they roll out the red carpet. I don’t admire his philosophy; I admire him.’’
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Jefferson Morley is a staff writer for Salon in Washington and author of the forthcoming book, Snow-Storm in August: Washington City, Francis Scott Key, and the Forgotten Race Riot of 1835 (Nan Talese/Doubleday). More Jefferson Morley.
The year of the baseball book
From a treatise on Yankee hating to a "people's history," a number of great books covered the national pastime
A simple and unsettling calculation reveals to me that this year marks the 40th anniversary of my coming to New England and setting up shop as a Red Sox fan. How innocent I was in that distant day: how little I understood the faces etched with pain, the haunted eyes, the lips that writhed in uttering “Yankees.” It did not take long to become afflicted by the same symptoms and, in my time here, certain Yankee-related events have been so traumatic that they are best designated by numerals alone: 1978 and 2003. The ALCS of 2004 (when the Red Sox came from a 0-3 game deficit to vanquish the evil ones) changed the region’s mental landscape — as, of course, did the subsequent World Championship(s). Since then, Yankee hating has become more of a pleasant pastime than a crippling mental and spiritual disorder.
Continue Reading CloseThe Marlins’ bizarre new look
The team's revamped logo involves a whimsical rainbow swoosh. The effect is anything but intimidating
So far the biggest story to come out of baseball’s early off-season isn’t some splashy free agent signing or the abrupt retirement of St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa, but that of the logo and uniform redesign of the Florida Marlins. The new look was officially announced on Friday, and if you haven’t seen them already, you might not believe your eyes. In fact, when some of the images of the new logo were leaked there was such shock and disbelief by the baseball world, most people assumed it was a farce, calling the look everything from “Hawaiian Shaved Ice” to “Push-up Pop” to “Rainbow Bright.”
Continue Reading CloseExonerating Bill Buckner
25 years after the Red Sox infielder's infamous World Series error, we look at what really happened that October
(Credit: AP) Bill Buckner’s error in the 1986 World Series – 25 years ago today, a day of infamy for Red Sox fans — is one of the two most famous plays in World Series history. (Willie Mays’ catch in the 1954 fall classic is the other.)
Like Mays’ over-the-shoulder catch, Buckner’s booboo is entrenched in American folklore. Jimmy Fallon’s Red Sox fanatic in “Fever Pitch,” distraught over breaking up with his girlfriend, watches Buckner’s play over and over on his VCR. During congressional hearings in 2008, U.S. Rep. John Yarmuth, D-Ky., called former Treasury Secretary John Snow, then-SEC chief Christopher Cox and former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan “three Bill Buckners.” On “Curb Your Enthusiasm” this season, Larry David loses a softball game when a ball rolls between his legs; his coach screams, “You Buckner-ed me!”
Continue Reading CloseAllen Barra's next book is "Mickey and Willie -- The Parallel Lives of Baseball's Golden Age," from Crown. More Allen Barra.
What baseball tells us about racism
Most home-plate umpires are white -- and they seem to be hurting the careers of minority pitchers
Despite recent odes to “post-racial” sensibilities, persistent racial wage and unemployment gaps show that prejudice is alive and well in America. Nonetheless, that truism is often angrily denied or willfully ignored in our society, in part, because prejudice is so much more difficult to recognize on a day-to-day basis. As opposed to the Jim Crow era of white hoods and lynch mobs, 21st century American bigotry is now more often an unseen crime of the subtle and the reflexive — and the crime scene tends to be the shadowy nuances of hiring decisions, performance evaluations and plausible deniability.
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David Sirota is a best-selling author of the new book "Back to Our Future: How the 1980s Explain the World We Live In Now." He hosts the morning show on AM760 in Colorado. E-mail him at ds@davidsirota.com, follow him on Twitter @davidsirota or visit his website at www.davidsirota.com. More David Sirota.
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