2008 Elections

You, too, can be a campaign reporter: Take the test!

Introducing the ACTAT, the secret test all elite reporters must pass before they can hit the 2008 trail.

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You, too, can be a campaign reporter: Take the test!

Get out from behind that computer! Stop whining about the news! You — yes, you! — can go on the road and be a campaign reporter! But first you must pass the ACTAT — the Advanced Campaign Trail Aptitude Test.

For the first time, Salon is bringing the secret standardized mainstream-media test to the public, publishing the actual* questions reporters must answer correctly before they can travel with any candidate. This is not a basic news quiz. This is the real deal.* It’s hard.

How to take the test: Number a piece of paper 1 to 30, and take the test. Check your answers against the answer key on Page 3. If you get only five to 10 questions right, you qualify as a well-informed citizen. If you get more than 15 right, you may be focusing too much time on politics and not enough on your family. If you get every question right, you can have my job.*

*Just kidding.

1. What new high-tech device has John Edwards campaign manager Joe Trippi been showing off on the campaign trail in recent weeks?

  • A. The SCRAM, an alcohol detection anklet made famous by Lindsay Lohan
  • B. The SatTime 500, a digital watch that displays the GPS location of Sen. Edwards
  • C. The BlackBerry Pearl
  • D. The iPhone
  • E. The Sony VAIO VGN-UX280P, a 6- by-4-inch laptop

2. On the day he announced his presidential campaign, Joe Biden got in trouble for:

  • A. Saying he doesn’t like the taste of corn
  • B. Texting a congressional page
  • C. Pledging to bomb Pakistan to kill Osama bin Laden
  • D. Calling Barack Obama “clean” and “articulate”
  • E. Confusing Sunnis with Shiites

3. According to the Washington Post, former John McCain campaign manager Terry Nelson had which cinematic sound clip playing on his computer in the weeks before he resigned from the campaign?

  • A. “Nobody puts baby in a corner.” — Johnny Castle from “Dirty Dancing”
  • B. “Where’s the fucking money?” — The Dude from “The Big Lebowski”
  • C. “Mr. Corleone never asks a second favor once he’s refused the first, understood?” — Tom Hagen from “The Godfather”
  • D. “The horror … The horror.” — Col. Walter E. Kurtz from “Apocalypse Now”
  • E. “You can’t handle the truth.” — Col. Nathan R. Jessep from “A Few Good Men”

4. “Kum & Go” is:

  • A. A prophylactic sold primarily in South Carolina
  • B. A famous ice cream parlor in Manchester, N.H.
  • C. A gas station chain in Iowa
  • D. John McCain’s strategy for winning the Iowa caucuses
  • E. (Insert Bill Clinton joke here)

5. In early August 2003, which Democratic candidate led his rivals in national presidential primary polls?

  • A. John Kerry
  • B. Howard Dean
  • C. John Edwards
  • D. Joe Lieberman
  • E. Richard Gephardt

6. The last time Mike Gravel held public office, the president was:

  • A. Jimmy Carter
  • B. Ronald Reagan
  • C. George H. W. Bush
  • D. Bill Clinton
  • E. Warren G. Harding

7. Ingrid Newkirk, the president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, is mad at Mitt Romney because he:

  • A. Drowned a bag of kittens in a Michigan river when he was 11 years old
  • B. Invested in a company that demonstrated surgical products on live dogs
  • C. Put his dog, Seamus, on his station wagon roof rack during a family vacation
  • D. Deliberately mocks dolphins on the campaign trail
  • E. Often hunts wild boar in Texas with an automatic rifle

8. Which two 2008 presidential candidates were behind-the- scenes players in the Watergate scandal that brought down Richard Nixon? (Pick two)

  • A. Duncan Hunter
  • B. Chris Dodd
  • C. Hillary Clinton
  • D. Joe Biden
  • E. Fred Thompson
  • F. Ron Paul
  • G. Sam Brownback
  • H. Barack Obama

9. When he announced his resignation from the White House, Bush advisor Karl Rove called Hillary Clinton a:

  • A. “Talented, treacherous, markedly wicked candidate”
  • B. “Brilliant, bodacious, deeply dishonest candidate”
  • C. “Solid, soulful, truly underestimated candidate”
  • D. “Masterful, maniacal, totally unstoppable candidate”
  • E. “Tough, tenacious, fatally flawed candidate”

10. As of Wednesday, the South Carolina primary will be held on:

  • A. Jan. 1
  • B. Jan. 20
  • C. Dec. 24
  • D. Dec. 16
  • E. It’s a trick question, since Democrats have scheduled the primary for Jan. 29 and Republicans for Jan. 19

Match each of the following stump speech passages with the candidate who uttered it.

11. “All for Jesus. All for Jesus. All for Jesus. All for Jesus.”

12. “There is this narrow window. It doesn’t come around that often — maybe once a generation — where we have the opportunity to put our shoulder against the wheel and move history in a better direction.”

13. “We came to power in 1994 to change government and government changed us.”

14. “I’m no superman. What I’ve learned by managing things is the key is bringing good people together.”

15. “I am committed to doing what we must in the 21st century to not just reassert America’s moral authority and leadership, but to come up with innovative solutions to deal with the problems we face, because we cannot do it alone.”

  • A. John McCain
  • B. Mitt Romney
  • C. Sam Brownback
  • D. Barack Obama
  • E. Hillary Clinton

16. What must-read campaign blog has Hillary Clinton communications director Howard Wolfson called the “new purveyor of conventional wisdom”?

  • A. The Drudge Report
  • B. Marc Ambinder at the Atlantic
  • C. Ben Smith at the Politico
  • D. Chris Cillizza at the Washington Post
  • E. Taegan Goddard’s Political Wire

17. Which of Mitt Romney’s five sons says “Braveheart” is a favorite movie, says “my dad” is his hero, enjoys water-skiing, snow skiing and reading, and recently visited each of Iowa’s 99 counties in an R.V.?

  • A. Tagg
  • B. Matt
  • C. Ben
  • D. Josh
  • E. Craig

18. Flip Romney is:

  • A. The sixth Romney son, who is gay
  • B. The nickname for Mitt Romney, given by his wife, Ann, after he made the whole family pancakes
  • C. A talking dolphin who shows up at campaign events
  • D. The nickname for Romney’s favorite granddaughter, who is a gymnast
  • E. The dance move Romney breaks out after eating fried Twinkies on a stick

19. Which of the following is not the name of a city or town in Iowa?

  • A. Oak Bluffs, home of the 400-pound wax ball
  • B. Oskaloosa, “The Place to Stop, Shop, Play, Stay”
  • C. Ottumwa, former home of the Ottumwa Box Car Loader Co.
  • D. Osage, former home of 19th century author Hamlin Garland
  • E. Oelwein, former site of the Chicago Great Western Railway repair shop

Match each of the following passages of canonical campaign reportage to its author:

20. “For years I’ve regarded [Richard Nixon's] very existence as a monument to all the rancid genes and broken chromosomes that corrupt the possibilities of the American Dream; he was a foul caricature of himself, a man with no soul, no inner convictions, with the integrity of a hyena and the style of a poison toad.”

21. “It occurred to me during the summer of 1988, in California and Atlanta and New Orleans, in the course of watching first the California primary and then the Democratic and Republican national conventions, that it had not been by accident that the people with whom I had preferred to spend time in high school had, on the whole, hung out in gas stations.”

22. “People are unpredictable by nature, and although you can take a nation’s pulse, you can’t be sure that the nation hasn’t just run up a flight of stairs, and although you can take a nation’s blood pressure, you can’t be sure that if you came back in twenty minutes you’d get the same reading. This is a damn fine thing.”

23. “The likeliest reason why so many of us care so little about politics is that modern politicians make us sad, hurt us deep down in ways that are hard even to name, much less talk about. It’s way easier to roll your eyes and not give a shit. You probably don’t want to hear about all this, even.”

24. Warren G. Harding “writes the worst English I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean-soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights.”

  • A. H.L. Mencken
  • B. Hunter Thompson
  • C. E.B. White
  • D. Joan Didion
  • E. David Foster Wallace

25. Former presidential candidate Tommy Thompson sometimes traveled with a motorcycle gang of supporters who wore black T-shirts embossed with what slogan?

  • A. “One of our own”
  • B. “Open road to the White House”
  • C. “Tommy Thompson: The legend rolls on”
  • D. “Tommy Thompson: He’s got the chopper”
  • E. “Eat my rubber, Brownback”

26. Which senior campaign official is so afraid of flying that he regularly drives to events as far away as Iowa?

  • A. Rick Davis, campaign manager for John McCain
  • B. Ben Ginsberg, campaign attorney for Mitt Romney
  • C. Howard Wolfson, communications director for Hillary Clinton
  • D. David Axelrod, chief political advisor for Barack Obama
  • E. Rob Wasinger, campaign manager for Sam Brownback

27. Which presidential candidate brought an Elvis impersonator from Texas to perform for voters at the Republican Iowa straw poll?

  • A. Tommy “Spinout” Thompson
  • B. John “Roustabout” Cox
  • C. Duncan “GI Blues” Hunter
  • D. Ron “Follow That Dream” Paul
  • E. Mike “Love Me Tender” Huckabee

28. Why has Rudy Giuliani been photographed repeatedly while dressed as a woman?

  • A. As mayor of New York, he wanted the Greenwich Village vote
  • B. It was Halloween
  • C. He was performing on “Saturday Night Live” and for charity dinners
  • D. It made New York safer
  • E. He just adores haute couture

29. In his 1995 memoir, “Dreams From My Father,” Barack Obama admits to:

  • A. Subscribing to Playboy
  • B. Changing his middle name from Jefferson to Hussein
  • C. Knowing all the words to “Sweet Child o’ Mine”
  • D. Embellishing his résumé to get into Harvard Law School
  • E. Trying marijuana and cocaine

Extra credit (because no one can be expected to get it right):

30. Romney’s traveling press secretary is a former statehouse bureau chief for the Boston Herald named Eric …

  • A. Fehrnstrom
  • B. Fernstrom
  • C. Fernshtrom
  • D. Fernsthrum
  • E. Ferhnhstrom

Answers are on Page 3.

Here’s how to score your answers:

0-5 correct. Cub. Give it a few years. You are not yet ready for the trail.

6-15 correct. Up-and-comer. Occasional campaign bus rides allowed.

16-25 correct. Trail ready. Head for the Iowa State Fair.

26-30 correct. Top-tier pencil. You are in a select group. Go scoop the New York Times.

1. D — iPhone

2. D — Clean, articulate

3. B — Lebowski

4. C — Gas station

5. D — Lieberman

6. A — Carter

7. C — Dog on roof

8. C and E — Clinton and Thompson

9. E — Fatally flawed

10. E — Trick question

11. C — Brownback

12. D — Obama

13. A — McCain

14. B — Romney

15. E — Clinton

16. B — Ambinder, though this fact has not been previously reported

17. D — Josh

18. C — Talking dolphin

19. A — Oak Bluffs

20. B — Thompson

21. D — Didion

22. C — White

23. E — Wallace

24. A — Mencken

25. A — One of our own

26. C — Wolfson

27. C — Duncan Hunter

28. C — “SNL” and charity dinners

29. E — Marijuana and cocaine

30. A — Fehrnstrom, go figure

Michael Scherer is Salon's Washington correspondent. Read his other articles here.

Nicolle Wallace’s Palin lesson: Make better stunt Veep picks

A running mate should be prepared, and maybe not about to be indicted (according to rumors)

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Nicolle Wallace's Palin lesson: Make better stunt Veep picksNicolle Wallace (Credit: ABC)

“Game Change” is a movie about how longtime Republican Party communications hack Nicolle Wallace and longtime Republican Party campaign hack Steve Schmidt actually have souls, and brains, and hence feel quite bad for accidentally being responsible for the creation of Sarah Palin, national monster. (Neither felt any qualms about working to get the most irresponsible warmonger currently serving in the Senate elected president, but Sarah Palin was nuts!)

So Wallace, following a 92nd Street Y panel last night, said this:

“There will be pressure to elevate a woman but there will be an equal amount of pressure to pick someone who is prepared,” Wallace said.

And then she said this:

Wallace flagged one female official in particular who she thinks would be a good choice this year.

“Nikki Haley — she’s great,” she said. “She’s the most effective surrogate Romney has.”

If the Sarah Palin problem was a problem of preparation and vetting, Haley … might present some issues? Specifically an odd and mostly unsubstantiated sex scandal and also these rumors that she might at any moment be indicted on tax charges. The tax thing might be bullshit and the affair story was the product of a self-promoting creep but they’re “out there,” as they say.

More important, Haley has been governor of South Carolina since January of 2011. As in very slightly longer than one year. And slightly less time being a governor than Sarah Palin had in 2008. It’s almost as if Wallace is making a pick not based on the principle of Who Would Be Best For the Nation but on demographics and optics?

Wallace also apparently suggested Carly Fiorina, which, lol. Romney/Ex-CEO who famously received a giant golden parachute when she was forced out of her company 2012, everyone! Just the ticket for the new economy.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

Sarah Palin’s Hollywood ending

HBO's "Game Change" presents Palin as simply a bumbling Tina Fey -- and misses the real story of the 2008 campaign

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Sarah Palin's Hollywood endingJulianne Moore as Sarah Palin in HBO's "Game Change" (Credit: HBO Films)

HBO’s “Game Change,” airing this Saturday, is not actually an adaption of the book “Game Change,” by Mark Halperin and John Heilemann. It is “Sarah Palin Goes Rogue,” the movie, with a couple of anecdotes borrowed from the notoriously gossipy account of the 2008 election as a whole. (Or, arguably, it’s an adaptation of Scott Conroy and Shushannah Walshe’s “Sarah From Alaska.”)

That is sort of a shame. The Palin thing is the most heavily over-covered story line of the entire 2008 campaign, so focusing on it might be totally logical from a marketing perspective, but it’s unfortunate from an artistic one. The film re-creates various moments of YouTube campaign ephemera very well — remember when that old white lady called Obama an Arab and McCain looked uncomfortable? When it takes us behind closed doors, it’s to witness scenes any moderately close observer of the election and its aftermath could’ve dreamed up him- or herself. It might have been fun to see a TV movie about the Democratic primary fight; the personality clashes of the disastrous Clinton campaign would have made for entertaining television, and Mark Penn is surely a creature crying out for a grotesque Emmy-winning portrayal by, say, Paul Giamatti.

Instead, McCain has won the nomination three-and-a-half minutes into the film. Soon we’re watching Julianne Moore watch Tina Fey on TV. You remember the “SNL” sketches making fun of Palin, right? In case you don’t, “Game Change” airs lengthy chunks from most of them. It also has tons of actual footage from CNN and MSNBC and Fox News, and it re-creates debates and speeches and the Couric interview and the Charlie Gibson interview and a bunch of other things you saw either live or on YouTube when they happened.

Moore’s performance is not just fair but maybe even flattering. (For one thing, she doesn’t hit those flat upper Midwest vowels as gratingly as the real Palin.) Woody Harrelson plays strategist Steve Schmidt — the film’s protagonist — as a grizzled, “too old for this shit” campaign veteran called back to the trail against his better judgment. Jamey Sheridan is given barely anything to do as Mark Salter, McCain’s “conscience.” Salter, the primary author of his “Maverick” mythos, is limited, after the Palin selection, to making a hilariously over-telegraphed face of concern as everyone else in the war room applauds her first speech.

But the film is about Schmidt and Nicolle Wallace because they were pretty clearly Halperin and Heilemann’s primary sources, and we watch them become horrified by the depths of Sarah Palin’s ignorance at exactly the same time as everyone else in America became horrified by her ignorance.

Because it’s Hollywood, there’s very little politics in the film’s depiction of politics. Policies are simply things for Sarah Palin to write on note cards and not memorize. Operatives confidently declare, in faux Sorkin-ese patter, that if this or that meaningless decision is made, it means “we’ll lose by five.”

There is a sheen of faux cynicism (McCain swears like a sailor!) but it masks complete naiveté: Everyone is basically honorable and decent. Nicolle Wallace — a member of the Bush administration communications team — is sincerely alarmed at the prospect of someone as dangerously ignorant as Sarah Palin in the White House. On election night, she breaks down in tears as she admits to Schmidt that … she didn’t vote. They embrace.

The film subscribes to the simplest theory of Sarah Palin: That she is childlike, vain and incredibly ignorant but also an essentially decent person and wonderful mother. The moments that come closest to “unfair” — Sarah Palin doesn’t know that the head of Great Britain’s government is the prime minister, not the queen — are basically plausible. This isn’t Andrew Sullivan’s conniving, dangerous pathological liar. It’s an overwhelmed working mother whose most unhinged moments are explained by a crash diet. Her convention speech is largely stripped of its snarling attack lines, imagining a world in which it appealed to “the base” because of Palin’s heartfelt commitment to special-needs children and not because she was very good at saying mean things about Obama. (The film actually repeats the bullshit story that her teleprompter broke midway through, and she kept going.) Even when the film has her take a major heel turn — “if I am single-handedly carrying this campaign, I am gonna do what I want!” — after “winning” her debate with Joe Biden (played by video footage of Joe Biden), she is still basically an innocent seduced by the adoration of riled-up crowds and national attention. (Todd Palin barely does anything.)

The constant use of actual news footage adds a bit of verisimilitude but also constantly raises the question of why this lightly fictionalized version of the election actually needs to exist. “Game Change” is not really for serious political junkies, who remember all the stuff that did happen and will scoff at the stuff that didn’t. (At one point, John McCain answers his ringing iPhone in the middle of the night. He used a BlackBerry, HBO.) But if casually politically involved people want to see their assumptions about Sarah Palin reinforced, well, there are still those “SNL” sketches.

In the end, the Republican operatives who foisted Sarah Palin on an unprepared nation are rightly horrified that they created a monster, but at no point does anyone act concerned that their actual candidate was himself an angry, warmongering old crank with extremely fungible principles. Sure, Sarah Palin didn’t know what the Fed did. Do we have any proof John McCain knew what it should’ve done? Maybe everyone actually was totally unfair to poor Sarah Palin.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

Baseless Condi Rice speculation making a comeback

Updated: To celebrate its return, a brief history of this variety of pundit fantasy writing

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Baseless Condi Rice speculation making a comebackCondoleezza Rice (Credit: Reuters)

[UPDATED BELOW] Joseph Curl, former White House correspondent for the Washington Times, is bringing me back to the good old days of 2006 in his latest opinion column for the conservative paper. It’s a breathless report that Condoleezza Rice will seek the vice presidency, and it’s a classic of the genre.

Any amateur can speculate that Chris Christie will enter the presidential race, or posit a Mike Bloomberg third-party run, or imagine Hillary Clinton launching a primary challenge against Barack Obama. After all, those three have actually won elections and expressed political ambitions. It takes a real pro to decide to build buzz around someone who not only hasn’t ever run for anything, but who’s never expressed a desire to run for anything.

Rice, the national security advisor in George W. Bush’s first presidential term and secretary of state in his second, is currently a professor at Stanford with the requisite right-wing think tank fellowship. She has not said or done anything “political” in years. But Curl has been hearing things!

America’s first black female secretary of state is quietly positioning herself to be the top choice of the eventual Republican presidential nominee, ready to deliver bona fide foreign-policy credentials lacking among the candidates. The 56-year-old has recently raised her profile, releasing her memoir in November and embarking on a monthlong book tour.

After 2 1/2 years as a professor at Stanford, Miss Rice is reportedly getting “antsy” to get back into the political game. “She’s ready to go,” said one top source.

Oh, a month-long tour in support of her book about her time in the Bush administration! She must be running for vice president, along with Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney and Scott McClellan and George W. Bush.

There’s more. (And not just the part where Curl calls Rice “a spicy Rice dish” and waxes fetishistic about “her guns” being “a match for those of our first lady Michelle Obama.”)

Plus, her selection would be a giant chess move to counter the expected replacement of Vice President Joseph R. Biden with Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton. Sure, the White House denies and denies, but that should really make any political watcher more suspicious. One White House insider even told me that the position swap was the only reason Mrs. Clinton joined the administration in the first place.

Curl has so many inside scoops packed into this column! I had no idea that our first presidential running mate swap since Ford’s 1976 campaign was basically a foregone conclusion and not just a weird Beltway journalist fantasy! But yes, I can see why the still  un-chosen GOP candidate would definitely be looking pretty closely at Rice — who’s been strongly making the case for her selection by not explicitly denying interest in the position — in case Obama replaces Biden with Clinton, which he will surely do.

The column gets worse (“Funny thing is, she is, unlike Barack Obama, an ‘American black’”) but that’s not really important. What’s important is exploring how someone like Condoleezza Rice ends up a perennial name on the fantasy ticket list.

Rice has been a subject of these columns since 2005, when she became Bush’s second secretary of state, and the White House tasked communications operative Jim Wilkinson — previously known best for inventing the false story of Jessica Lynch* — with getting Rice (and her boss) some much-needed positive press. Wilkinson did his job beautifully (remember when Rice’s knee-high boots were a topic of actual serious news coverage for weeks?) and Rice began receiving the “rock star” treatment.

In the Washington Post, Glenn Kessler, author of the 2007 Rice bio “The Confidante,” summarized the exact moment of the birth of the presidential speculation:

In March 2005, before Rice sat for an interview with the Washington Times, Wilkinson slipped a note to the editorial page editor, Tony Blankley, suggesting that she be asked whether she would consider running for president. It was an audacious proposal — she had been secretary for only six weeks — but such speculation would bolster Rice’s image as a leader. (Wilkinson and Blankley said they do not recall the incident, but others present said they saw Wilkinson’s note.)

Oh, the Washington Times.

Shortly thereafter, Dick Morris wrote a book claiming — nay, insisting — that 2008 would be “Condi vs. Hillary.”

As Iraq descended into a violent civil war in 2006, Rice-for-president buzz bizarrely grew. There was enough of a false grass-roots movement for a paint-by-numbers AP trend piece with a silly nickname and everything. Tim Russert asked her point blank. As always, she said no in no uncertain terms.

Then, of course, everyone began to speculate that she’d be McCain’s running mate. Robert Novak claimed as much on Fox. Dan Senor said she was pushing for the pick on some Sunday show. Hendrik Hertzberg wrote a Talk of the Town piece on the subject! McCain and Rice both finally denied “reports” that she was angling for the spot on the ticket.

Now, I guess, it’s time to start up the rumor mill anew.

But before you put pen to paper on that column about how a Gingrich-Rice ticket would surely win moderate women in Ohio, consider this: In addition to the fact that she’s always denied wanting the job, and in addition to the fact that she was an unmitigated failure in the Bush administration, downplaying terrorism as a priority prior to 9/11 and selling the public on the Iraq invasion with untruths, Condi Rice is pro-choice.

*Update: Jon Krakauer recently rescinded his claim that Wilkinson, then a communications aide to General Tommy Franks, was responsible for the initial false Washington Post report on Lynch’s apparent heroics before her capture. Though Wilkinson was obviously involved in the PR campaign surrounding Lynch’s rescue and return to the U.S., he apparently isn’t responsible for falsifying her actions or leaking that false story to the press.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

Breitbart shock: Obama was in same place at same time as New Black Panthers

Right-wingers once again try to connect the president to a fringe group of laughable conservative boogeymen

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Breitbart shock: Obama was in same place at same time as New Black PanthersMembers of the New Black Panther Party, including, Divine Allah, left, arrive for funeral services for 13-year-old shooting victim, Tamrah Leonard, at the Friendship Baptist Church in Trenton, N.J., Saturday, June 13, 2009. (Credit: AP/Mike Derer)

Andrew Breitbart’s loud, dumb BigGovernment site has a loud, dumb story about how Barack Obama “appeared and marched with the New Black Panther Party in 2007.” The occasion was the 42nd anniversary of the march from Selma, Alabama, and in addition to Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Al Sharpton were also there, along with dozens of civil rights era luminaries and thousands of other people because it was a massive annual celebration and not actually an Obama campaign event.

The New Black Panther Party is a cartoonish fringe group of a couple guys who play “’60s radical” dress-up and say mean things about whitey for Fox cameras in order to scare old white people. They have been explicitly rejected by the old Black Panther Party. For some reason, various conservatives have dedicated themselves to proving that this weird, marginal group of Nation of Islam cast-offs is somehow supported by or deeply connected to the Democratic Party and the Obama administration in particular, because, you know, Eric Holder and Barack Obama, those are two guys who very obviously share the values of extremist anti-white proponents of racial separation.

So Breitbart “proves” something or other about the essential anti-white racistness of the Obama campaign by noting that members of the inane New Black Panther Party were spotted by cameras near Obama, at various times, and also NBPP head Malik Zulu Shabazz spoke at the event.

(Brietbart goes on to publish two pictures of the event despite the photographer withholding permission, because “The First Amendment allows photographs of such enormous public importance to see the light of day.” Good luck with that argument in court?)

Andrew C. McCarthy gleefully endorses Breitbart’s story in a breathless post at the National Review’s The Corner:

This is a shocking story, and a breathtaking indictment of the mainstream media which went out of its way to avoid vetting Obama as a candidate — and to make sure anyone who tried to do due diligence got no sunshine. A candidate who chose to appeared in the company of, say, the KKK, would have provoked relentlessly hostile media coverage and, in short order, have been marginalized as disqualified to hold responsible elective office.

If only the media had reported that some fringe weirdos also participated in this event that both Democratic candidates and thousands of other people participated in, and then the fringe weirdos sort of followed Obama around for a while. That would’ve opened America’s eyes! (I mean the media besides NPR, which did report that the NBPP was there.)

Here’s the bit of this sad, desperate reach that is the saddest and most desperate: “Andrew further reminds us that, in March 2008, the Obama campaign website posted an endorsement of Obama by the New Black Panther Party.” Whoa, did they really? Shocking if true! It is, of course, not true. It was a user-generated blog post on the Obama campaign site that the campaign removed as soon as they became aware of its existence. Because websites do not “post” things to themselves, generally, McCarthy’s statement can’t even be charitably described as technically accurate. It’s just a lie.

A random stupid incorrect Breitbart smear is worth paying attention to only to the extent that the smear threatens to bubble up to the more reputable conservative press, or Fox, or Republican elected officials. The McCarthy endorsement means keep an eye on this one!

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

Palins give free publicity to book bashing Palins

Joe McGinniss' "The Rogue" gets a big marketing boost from its subject's classic (and predictable) overreaction

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Palins give free publicity to book bashing PalinsSarah Palin

Here, according to the National Enquirer, are the shocking revelations in Joe McGinniss’ new book about Sarah Palin, “The Rogue”:

  • She has done drugs.
  • She had sex with a basketball player before she married Todd.
  • She is mean and petty.
  • She is a bad mother.
  • She had an affair after she married Todd.

There is also, obviously, some stuff about Trig’s birth, but I have not yet read the book, so I couldn’t tell you how far down the rabbit hole that goes.

Here’s my reaction to those revelations: Sarah Palin is a person! She’s done drugs and pissed people off and slept with people, like 90 percent of American humans. If Sarah Palin was smart she’d dismiss the book with a chuckle, say nobody’s perfect, laugh off the “gossip,” and move on.

Sarah Palin might not be smart.

The Palins always prefer grand self-pitying martyrdom to quiet dignity, of course, which is why picking on them can be so profitable: They will always respond, and always help you drum up more publicity for your Palin-attacking venture. Instead of depriving the book of oxygen, they launched a multimedia attack on Joe McGinniss before he’d finished the first draft, and what they accomplished was … giving him more material and ensuring that even more breathless anticipation awaited the book’s release.

Now that the book’s rollout is underway, the Palins might as well get paid for their marketing efforts. Todd Palin angrily denounced it, again accusing McGinniss of having a “creepy obsession” with Sarah Palin. Oooh, it’s so creeeepy to write an unauthorized biography of a prominent public figure, right?

How bad did the Palins allowed themselves to be trolled? Sarah Palin’s people released a statement on behalf of Brad Hanson, Todd Palin’s former business partner, with whom Sarah Palin is alleged to have carried on an extramarital affair, some years back. The statement is a blanket denial, but what does having the supposed beau directly address the press accomplish, exactly? It just drives more interest in the book’s salacious, shocking revelations about the secret life of Sarah Palin. This guy, of all guys, should be kept out of it.

I am sure that Todd and everyone else is very personally pissed off that McGinniss went to Wasilla, talked to a bunch of people who hate them, and published a book full of stories about how bad and awful they are, but blowing up publicly just sends the message that there’s stuff in the book worth getting worked up about.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

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