2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
For some, romantic obsession means languishing in a freezing garret, producing pages and pages of yearning symbolist poetry, or listening to Patsy Cline’s greatest hits over and over. For Weather Channel coanchor and ratings favorite Bob Stokes, it apparently meant harassing the object of his affection, former anchor Hillary Andrews, for details of her sex life, sabotaging her at work and repeatedly entreating her to “lick his swizzle stick.” (This according to the Smoking Gun.) Swizzle stick? I guess we can add that to a list that includes Clarence Thomas’ can of Coke and Bill O’Reilly’s “falafel thing.” (It was actually a loofah, but obviously O’Reilly is far too populist to know that. Or to wash himself.)
Andrews’ female predecessor was also allegedly subjected to the same treatment and eventually forced out of her job. Andrews experienced much of the same bullying and marginalization from her bosses when she complained about Stokes, but no such fate would befall her; in 2006, three months before her contract expired, she slapped Stokes with a major lawsuit. And won.
Today, however, as the owner of the Weather Channel is negotiating a multibillion-dollar sale, the network’s lawyers are angling to keep the blistering arbitration ruling a secret, fearing it might affect the sale and value of the cable outlet. I can’t help hoping that the Weather Channel’s total disregard for the right of women to a safe, respectful workplace knocks a few zeroes off its asking price. Nothing like the bottom line to drive home the point that blatant misogyny isn’t just bad behavior; it’s bad business.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.