2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Let’s say — God forbid — you’ve been raped. Let’s say you make it as far as the E.R., but once you get there, as is not uncommon, you’re too traumatized/ashamed/worried about the fact that you were doing drugs, etc. to submit evidence for the “rape kit” used by police and prosecutors. So let’s say you go home and shower the whole thing away. And let’s say that only then do your friends persuade you to go to the police. Well, by then, your best evidence may have gone down the drain.
Such a scenario is reportedly one of the biggest obstacles to prosecuting rape cases: Many women do not come forward until, forensically speaking, it may be too late. For that reason, the FBI has — at least since 1999 — recommended the option of “Jane Doe rape kits,” which identify their source only by a number, and which are opened by police only if charges are pressed. And now, according to wire reports, all states will next year be required to pay for the kits in order to continue receiving funding under the federal Violence Against Women Act, which helps support women’s shelters and relevant law enforcement training.
According to the Associated Press, some clinics, colleges and hospitals — along with the state of Massachusetts — already offer the anonymous kits. Elsewhere, though, institutions have refused to cover the cost of a rape exam unless the victim goes to the cops.
“At Union Hospital in Elkton [Md.], forensic nurse Chris Lenz said Jane Doe testing is not offered unless a medical professional fears the victim will leave without the option,” the AP reported. “‘Of course we encourage reporting. That’s what we would like. But when they’re adamant they don’t want to report — if we think, She’s going to walk out if she has to go through with this — that’s when we offer it,’ Lenz said.”
Perhaps not surprisingly, some grumbling, here and there, has begun; the false-report bugaboo hath arisen. Could these kits be an extra-handy tool for Jane “Don’t Mess With Me or I’ll Charge You With Rape”? Er, I guess. And an actual false report (when pursued, which would ultimately require dealing with the police) is, of course, serious business. But come on. When, according to the U.S. Justice Department, only 41 percent of rapes and other sexual assaults are reported to police, we’ve got to side with Jane Doe.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.