Condensed literature
Could you sum up a classic in six words? Members of Salon's community, Table Talk, take a crack at it this week.
By Table TalkTopics:
Imagination
Lando — 01:14 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008
In honor of “the six-word short story” and “your life in six words,” this thread is open to six-word homages to classic works of literature.
Whether you want to reduce Jane Austen’s classic opening sally to six words (Truth here: Rich men need wives) or sum up Robert Frost (“Out walking. Took a new path”), this is the place to do it.
The times were good. Also bad.
A Tale of Two Cities
My name is definitely not Isaac.
Moby-Dick
Meera Hyphenated — 01:56 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008 — #3 of 28
Bilbo took quest. Got the Ring.
The Hobbit
Twelve people tried to return it.
Fellowship of the Ring
Ring got tossed. Frodo came home.
Return of the King
Heidi Lynn — 03:53 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008 — #5 of 28
Man catches fish. Sharks eat it.
The Old Man and the Sea
Kids sneak around, get married, die.
Romeo and Juliet
Desperate, noble poor get shafted. Repeatedly.
The Grapes of Wrath
Rapacious government consumes truth, excretes war.
1984 (or the Bush administration)
Soldier rushes fate, gets cocky, loses.
Macbeth
Lando — 04:00 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008 — #6 of 28
Be good. Precisely how is unclear.
The Bible (Old Testament)
LaurenF — 04:48 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008 — #8 of 28
Man sleeps with mother. Gouging ensues.
Oedipus the King
Woman sleeps with preacher. Branding ensues.
The Scarlet Letter
Tonstant Weader — 07:13 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008 — #10 of 28
Woman sleeps with count. Suicide ensues.
Anna Karenina
Literal, symbolic rabbits are petted, mauled.
Of Mice and Men
longtime — 09:25 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008 — #11 of 28
Hell, Purgatory, Heaven and sweet Beatrice.
The Divine Comedy
After much dithering, revenge is deadly.
Hamlet
Three daughters, two bad, one good.
King Lear
No one misses a charming bootlegger.
The Great Gatsby
Satan falls, tricks Eve, Adam follows.
Paradise Lost
Achilles sulks. Friend dies. Achilles fights.
The Iliad
Jared2 — 06:53 am Pacific Time — May 29, 2008 — #14 of 28
Nothing happens. Then nothing happens again.
Waiting for Godot
Virgin gets knocked up by angel.
New Testament
Lando — 07:53 am Pacific Time — May 29, 2008 — #17 of 28
Red-headed orphans: Well worth the trouble.
Anne of Green Gables
Vile man pities self, hates world.
A Confederacy of Dunces
Jared2 — 09:05 am Pacific Time — May 29, 2008 — #19 of 28
Pandora opens box. Four horsemen escape.
Prometheus gives man fire; has regrets.
Pilgrims set out; much hilarity ensues.
Canterbury Tales
MGF — 09:30 am Pacific Time — May 29, 2008 — #24 of 28
The Austen Oeuvre:
Unworthy entanglements neutralized, appropriate pairings proceed.
Sense & Sensibility
Hysterical mother marries off three daughters.
Pride & Prejudice
Poor relation annoys readers, weds cousin.
Mansfield Park
Alleged spinster, failed matchmaker makes match.
Emma
Girl renounces pulp fiction, finds husband.
Northanger Abbey
Yes this time, family be damned.
Persuasion
Or, to be utterly concise:
Worthy maidens get husbands they deserve.
Randall — 11:03 am Pacific Time — May 29, 2008 — #27 of 28
Life’s not worth it. So what?
L’Etranger, Camus
LaurenF — 11:14 am Pacific Time — May 29, 2008 — #28 of 28
Man turns cockroach. No one cares.
The Metamorphosis
Best of Table Talk is an ongoing feature of Salon’s vibrant community forum. Older posts of the week can be found in TT. Want to join the discussion? Sign up here.
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