2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Lando — 01:14 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008
In honor of “the six-word short story” and “your life in six words,” this thread is open to six-word homages to classic works of literature.
Whether you want to reduce Jane Austen’s classic opening sally to six words (Truth here: Rich men need wives) or sum up Robert Frost (“Out walking. Took a new path”), this is the place to do it.
The times were good. Also bad.
A Tale of Two Cities
My name is definitely not Isaac.
Meera Hyphenated — 01:56 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008 — #3 of 28
Bilbo took quest. Got the Ring.
Twelve people tried to return it.
Fellowship of the Ring
Ring got tossed. Frodo came home.
Return of the King
Heidi Lynn — 03:53 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008 — #5 of 28
Man catches fish. Sharks eat it.
The Old Man and the Sea
Kids sneak around, get married, die.
Romeo and Juliet
Desperate, noble poor get shafted. Repeatedly.
The Grapes of Wrath
Rapacious government consumes truth, excretes war.
1984 (or the Bush administration)
Soldier rushes fate, gets cocky, loses.
Lando — 04:00 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008 — #6 of 28
Be good. Precisely how is unclear.
The Bible (Old Testament)
LaurenF — 04:48 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008 — #8 of 28
Man sleeps with mother. Gouging ensues.
Oedipus the King
Woman sleeps with preacher. Branding ensues.
The Scarlet Letter
Tonstant Weader — 07:13 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008 — #10 of 28
Woman sleeps with count. Suicide ensues.
Literal, symbolic rabbits are petted, mauled.
Of Mice and Men
longtime — 09:25 pm Pacific Time — May 28, 2008 — #11 of 28
Hell, Purgatory, Heaven and sweet Beatrice.
The Divine Comedy
After much dithering, revenge is deadly.
Three daughters, two bad, one good.
No one misses a charming bootlegger.
The Great Gatsby
Satan falls, tricks Eve, Adam follows.
Achilles sulks. Friend dies. Achilles fights.
Jared2 — 06:53 am Pacific Time — May 29, 2008 — #14 of 28
Nothing happens. Then nothing happens again.
Waiting for Godot
Virgin gets knocked up by angel.
Lando — 07:53 am Pacific Time — May 29, 2008 — #17 of 28
Red-headed orphans: Well worth the trouble.
Anne of Green Gables
Vile man pities self, hates world.
A Confederacy of Dunces
Jared2 — 09:05 am Pacific Time — May 29, 2008 — #19 of 28
Pandora opens box. Four horsemen escape.
Prometheus gives man fire; has regrets.
Pilgrims set out; much hilarity ensues.
MGF — 09:30 am Pacific Time — May 29, 2008 — #24 of 28
The Austen Oeuvre:
Unworthy entanglements neutralized, appropriate pairings proceed.
Sense & Sensibility
Hysterical mother marries off three daughters.
Pride & Prejudice
Poor relation annoys readers, weds cousin.
Alleged spinster, failed matchmaker makes match.
Girl renounces pulp fiction, finds husband.
Yes this time, family be damned.
Or, to be utterly concise:
Worthy maidens get husbands they deserve.
Randall — 11:03 am Pacific Time — May 29, 2008 — #27 of 28
Life’s not worth it. So what?
LaurenF — 11:14 am Pacific Time — May 29, 2008 — #28 of 28
Man turns cockroach. No one cares.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.