Football
Janet Jackson’s boob freed
A federal appeals court throws out CBS's $550,000 fine for the Super Bowl "wardrobe malfunction."
A federal appeals court in Philadelphia has thrown out the $550,000 fine the FCC imposed on CBS for airing Janet Jackson’s breast for nine-sixteenths of a second during the Super Bowl halftime show in February 2004.
The court ruled that because “the commission frequently declined to find broadcast programming indecent, its restraint punctuated only by a few occasions where programming contained indecent material so pervasive as to amount to ‘shock treatment’ for the audience,” it had effectively changed the rules on CBS without warning.
“The FCC arbitrarily and capriciously departed from its prior policy excepting fleeting broadcast material from the scope of actionable indecency,” the court said.
You can read the ruling in PDF format here, and I heartily recommend it for the play-by-play of the FCC’s dishonesty in its pursuit of alleged indecency under chairman Michael Powell. Also for the details on a case called Young Broadcasting, because it was an important precedent here, but more importantly because it involved penis puppetry.
Pending further appeals by the FCC, CBS gets to keep its half mil, but the rest of us will never get back all those seven-second delays that resulted. They add up, you know. With all the sports I watch on TV, I’m more than eight hours behind actual time.
The incident did leave us with the phrase “wardrobe malfunction,” Justin Timberlake’s super-lame excuse for what happened when he sang the words “gonna have you naked by the end of this song” as he ripped Jackson’s bodice. Pathetic excuse, but a great phrase.
The whole thing was a pathetic excuse for a controversy, really. Jackson’s breast was exposed for just over half a second. It was actually pretty easy to miss. This column missed it in real time and had to be alerted by a friend to check the TiVo. The friend called and said something like “Did I just see what I think I saw?”
The thousands upon thousands of people who complained had to go out of their way to be offended by the image, which they had to go out of their way to be sure they’d seen. TiVo reported record numbers for that moment. CBS argued in court that a huge number of the complaints it received were identical, the result of conservative groups organizing campaigns in which people used a complaint template and sent it in dozens of times each.
Whatever the merits of the case — and the ruling goes into some detail about how the FCC changed the rules midstream and then, in the Young Broadcasting case, tried to pretend that the earlier rules, described many times over three decades, had never existed — the huge fine of CBS being overturned is a good thing because that kind of draconian punishment only encourages more similar nonsense, more political opinions masquerading as think-of-the-children moral vexation.
If the FCC wants to make itself useful in the sports realm, it should do something about the blackout rules.
King Kaufman is a senior writer for Salon. You can e-mail him at king at salon dot com. Facebook / Twitter / Tumblr More King Kaufman.
Can Tebow find salvation?
Updated: After losing his job in Denver, evangelicals' favorite jock faces an uncertain future in New York.
Tim Tebow (Credit: Reuters/Rick WIlking) [UPDATED BELOW]
You don’t need to be an evangelical Christian to care about the future of Tim Tebow. I’m a lapsed atheist myself. But with the resurrection of quarterback Peyton Manning in Denver, I wonder most about the future of the spiritual scrambler, who led the Broncos to the playoffs last year.
The Broncos signing Manning to replace Tebow is a no-brainer. He may be diminished by age and injury, but he is also the best quarterback of our time, not because he is a brilliant coach’s puppet (Tom Brady) or an on-field, off-field brute (Ben Roethlisberger) but by virtue of a fierce work ethic and a concentrated intelligence that is contagious and inspirational. Whatever is left at age 35 of him will make the Broncos better.
Continue Reading CloseRobert Lipsyte is a former New York Times sports columnist. His new memoir, "An Accidental Sportswriter," has just been published. More Robert Lipsyte.
The Super Bowl is not a job creator
Despite what civic boosters say, hosting the big game provides few long-term benefits
(Credit: AP/Michael Conroy) Roger Goodell, the commissioner of the National Football League, argued on “60 Minutes” last Sunday that the NFL is one professional organization designed to appeal to the economic interests of the little guy: Its revenue-sharing model, he said, gives a fighting chance to squads from Green Bay and Buffalo as well as to those from large media markets like New York, Los Angeles and Boston.
On the eve of the Super Bowl, Goodell was touting the familiar idea that the sport’s biggest game is a boon to economic development. But with the cost of a ticket now averaging $3,982 and 30-second television spots selling for $3.5 million, the Super Bowl can appear to be more an occasion for ostentatious excess than an engine of development.
Continue Reading CloseAlexander Heffner is a freelance journalist whose writing has appeared in the New York Times, Washington Post, and Boston Globe. More Alexander Heffner.
Political lessons from this year’s Super Bowl
From jobs to health care, football's big game illustrates the factors that will dominate the 2012 election
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady (Credit: AP Photo/Elise Amendola) Most Americans won’t need a justification to watch Sunday’s game, but if you’re a Salon reader you might think, even in passing, that celebrating the holiest day of violence, consumerism and class warfare on your couch is a betrayal of your values or a waste of your time. You might even imagine that it would be better to take a hike, read a book or meditate.
Not this Sunday, buster. It’s an election season. You need to watch this game to fully understand how jobs, religion, leadership and healthcare dominate every American contest.
Continue Reading CloseRobert Lipsyte is a former New York Times sports columnist. His new memoir, "An Accidental Sportswriter," has just been published. More Robert Lipsyte.
Enjoy the game? For the true fan, it’s all about agony
The New York Giants are in the Super Bowl. But for one obsessive, the question is what time to take the Ativan
Ohio State football fans (Credit: AP) “The truth is,” Nick Hornby wrote in “Fever Pitch,” his book about his obsession with Arsenal and British football, “for alarmingly large chunks of an average day, I am a moron.”
That’s a wonderful sentence by one of my favorite writers, but if Hornby is only a moron for only large chunks of the average day, he is doing a lot better than I am. I can honestly report that for the last few months I have been an absolute idiot for all but very small portions of the day.
Continue Reading CloseTed Heller's latest novel, "Pocket Kings," will be published in March. He is also the author of the novels "Slab Rat" and "Funnymen." More Ted Heller.
Small blunders kill Super Bowl dreams
For fans of the 49ers and Ravens, the road to the big game is paved with pain
Kyle Williams loses it Just when it looked like the NFC and AFC championship games were going to last until the Super Bowl, two fatal blunders brought them to an abrupt close. The stunning conclusions to two of the most tense, evenly matched conference championship games in recent memory were a painful reminder that although football is a team game, one miscue by a single player can wipe out thousands of hours of collective blood, sweat and tears.
It will be a sad and lonely night for Baltimore Ravens’ kicker Billy Cundiff, whose shanked chip-shot 32-yarder gave the AFC championship to the New England Patriots. Kickers must have strong mental constitutions: in a sport where bonds between teammates are cemented in blood and pain, they are not always regarded as full-fledged comrades to begin with, and so when they screw up, it’s even harder for them to deal with. The mantra “short memory,” which defensive backs are constantly shouting at each other, applies in spades to kickers. Cundiff could use a tall glass of Milk of Amnesia.
Continue Reading CloseGary Kamiya is a Salon contributing writer. More Gary Kamiya.
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