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The devil and David Carr

The veteran newspaperman discusses his alternately horrifying and uplifting memoir about the journey from crackhead to crack New York Times reporter.

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The devil and David Carr

To listen to a podcast of the interview, click here.

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A few years ago, when I was moonlighting as an instructor at New York University, I led a group of incoming journalism students on a tour of the old New York Times building on West 43rd Street. When Times reporter David Carr saw me across the newsroom, he jumped up from his desk, leaving whatever fast-breaking media-business story he was working on, and spent the next 20 minutes showing the awestruck freshmen around the paper of record, narrating in his gravelly Minnesota drawl.

It wasn’t like we were bosom buddies. I’ve known Carr as a professional colleague since 1994, but we don’t socialize and I’ve never met his family. Still, to use an appropriate Middle American idiom, David Carr is a stand-up guy. If he knows you and likes you — and David knows and likes a lot of people — he’s likely to do you a solid. I don’t have to wonder whether he would try to help me if I were in dire straits, because I already know. When I lost my job as editor of SF Weekly in 1995, David called to ask if I wanted an inside-track recommendation for his old job at the Twin Cities Reader in Minnesota. Nothing personal, Gophers, but I moved to New York instead.

I dimly understood that Carr was in recovery, but that amorphous term captures lots of people I know. His battered visage and bourbon-and-ciggies voice only augmented his hard-boiled reporter persona — and as anyone who has read Carr’s media-business coverage, his post-Katrina reporting from New Orleans or his Carpetbagger blog during Oscar season is aware, he’s one of the craft’s consummate professionals. The David Carr I know is a charmer, a survivor, a party boy turned family man.

I definitely don’t know the David Carr who can’t remember being arrested for beating up a Minneapolis cab driver, can’t remember one entire stint in rehab, can’t remember going over to his best friend’s house dead drunk and pill-addled with a gun in his hand. I don’t know the guy who, by his own account, was smoking crack on the day his twin daughters were born (as was their mother), or the one who describes himself in his memoir, “The Night of the Gun,” as a fat, coke-dealing thug who beat up women.

But here’s the problem Carr confronts in “The Night of the Gun,” which is, on both a technical and a philosophical level, the most challenging memoir produced to date by the ex-cokehead mea-maxima-culpa genre: He doesn’t know that guy either. Carr’s book has two overlapping and arguably contradictory narratives, one of which follows the Dostoevski-by-way-of-Oprah model of abasement and redemption the reader expects and the other of which, let’s just say, does not.

In the first instance, Carr’s story is an inspirational, almost miraculous one: A massive fuck-up who had blown out his journalism career and virtually been abandoned as a hopeless case by friends and family, finally gets sober after his baby girls are born. He rescues them from their increasingly dysfunctional mother, gets them off welfare and raises them as a single dad. (Yes, Carr reports, unspoused fatherhood is indeed an effective chick magnet.) Along the way he survives cancer, falls in love, gets married and has a third daughter, prospers professionally and finds himself, in his 50s, with a great job, a beautiful family, a house in the suburbs. Yes, there was a fairly recent relapse — alcohol, not cocaine — but that, too, is almost a ritual element of the narrative.

When that guy, that middle-aged recovering cokehead, decided to go back and tell his own story, he brought the tools of his craft with him. Rather than relying on a faulty and poisoned memory, Carr tracked down old friends, ex-lovers, former dealers, bosses who’d fired him, disbarred attorneys, de-licensed shrinks and a rogue’s gallery of other characters. (One of Carr’s old Minnesota partners-in-crime is the comedian Tom Arnold, who appears here with no attempt at concealment.) He recorded every interview on audio and/or video, and scanned in every legal and medical document he could find. He hired two private eyes and a backup reporter to gather loose threads behind him.

This means that Carr’s book isn’t likely to have any major truthiness problems, à la James Frey’s “A Million Little Pieces,” but all that reporting has produced other, more interesting consequences too. One of them is the book’s Web site, a masterwork of commingled confession and self-promotion that includes a large trove of the documents and videos yielded by Carr’s research, along with such things as a letter from the mother of his twin daughters that is almost too painful to read.

Carr’s journey into the past leads him to his second story, a confrontation with a not-so-pleasant version of himself. He didn’t go into this project knowing that he would discover arrests he couldn’t remember, or that his ex-girlfriend Doolie would demonstrate how he used to beat her up. Or that his old friend Donald would tell him that it was David who packed a pistol during the late-night standoff that gives the book its title.

Considering that evening, Carr wonders: “Can I tell you a true story about the worst day of my life? No. To begin with, it was far from the worst day of my life. And those who were there swear it did not happen the way I recall, on that day and on so, so many others. And if I can’t tell a true story about one of the worst days of my life, what about the rest of those days, that life, this story?”

Although he’s a confident and tenacious reporter, Carr has the perspicacity to see that his methods are not likely to yield some unalloyed, unambiguous version of the truth about himself or anything else. All of us, he suggests, would likely face similar problems if we looked at our own past through the eyes of others.

The problem with “The Night of the Gun,” you could say, is that Carr wants to have his epistemological cake and eat it too. He engages difficult questions about the constructed and self-serving nature of memory and about the fungibility of that mystical entity called the self, but he also seeks to deliver the final, redemptive hug (his word), the promise of better things that the recovery fable demands. Perhaps there is no contradiction, only the fact that we want to see clear-cut moral narratives in human life where none exist. “Which … of my two selves did I make up? Carr asks himself. The only possible answer is neither. The fat thug and the stand-up guy are both real, and bear the same name. The passage that led from one to the other can be explained as a chemical or physiological or spiritual transformation, but what really matters is that it happened, not why.

David Carr met me at Salon’s office for an extended conversation about “The Night of the Gun.” We hadn’t seen each other since that day at the old Times building. As you’ll see, some tension arose between us when I suggested that his account of his relapse into alcohol abuse (circa 2002-05) might not adequately address the loss of trust some readers may feel, reasonably or not. The way I phrased the question was, in fact, chickenshit, but it’s a legitimate question anyway. (To listen to a podcast of the interview, click here.)

Video: David Carr on his memoir

David, when you decided to approach this story of your career as, should we say, a massive fuck-up …

We should say that, yeah.

You went at it with the tools of your trade, as a reporting project more than a memoir. What led you to do it that way?

A bunch of things. I had always said that I wouldn’t write this book, or a book like this, because there’s a lot of ‘em. And then I decided, “Mm, maybe I will. Maybe I could write a good one.” At the time, the Smoking Gun had introduced a whole new level of transparency. That got me thinking: What do I really know about what happened to me? What would it be like to go back?

Actually, the seed got planted a long time ago when I was the editor of the Twin Cities Reader, and Rose Farley, one of the best investigative reporters in the city at that time, went to city hall for some other reason and came back with my mug shots. She plastered them all over my door, and I was the boss of the paper at that time. Everybody had a really good time with that, choosing their favorite.

How much did the decision to report your own story have to do with cases like James Frey’s memoir, which apparently should have been published as fiction?

I’m pretty much a basic, straightforward reporter, and I thought if I took the approach of just going and looking, that I would find new things, have some epiphanies. It was a short step to saying I wanted to relentlessly document everything, and that might have had something to do with the fact that memoirs were coming apart in plain view.

I want to make it clear, though. It isn’t like, oh, every word is a shiny diamond of truth. It’s like all human endeavors. It’s probably got errors in it, and errors of omission. I wanted to make it as truthful and transparent as I could. So I videotaped all the interviews, I scanned all the documents, I recorded all the audio and I had somebody else transcribe the tapes, because I think we even hear what we want to hear sometimes, and shave off a corner here or there when we’re transcribing.

You make it very clear that even this method isn’t going to get you to the unique and unvarnished truth.

I don’t want to draw a target on myself. I don’t want people saying, “Aha! Isn’t it true that you blah-blah-blah?” And my timing sucked, frankly. I went back 20 years later and the document trail had really gotten a lot thinner than I was hoping. A lot of medical records were gone, a lot of arrest records were gone. Stuff I found absolutely fascinating, I couldn’t really prove. So I hired one private investigator and then I hired another private investigator, and I learned what everybody learns, which is, if you’re doing a story it’s best to hire a journalist. So I hired this reporter named Don Jacobsen who went back behind me and found some stuff and couldn’t find some stuff. It let me write with a little bit more ease, because if that guy can’t find it and I can’t find it, it probably can’t be found.

My main criminal defense attorney had been disbarred, my mentor is in federal prison, my therapist lost his license. Let’s just say that all the encounters with me didn’t do great things for people’s careers.

You have this joke about how readers will look for the “yucky parts” so they can feel better about themselves, and you certainly supply that stuff. You write about getting high, actually smoking crack, on the day your daughters were born.

Their mother denies that. But I really and truly believe that it happened.

Well, you include a hospital report that indicates a strong probability that you guys were high when you got there.

Which is why I thought I remembered it correctly. It goes with my theme of only being able to remember what you can stand to.

And you uncovered several things you couldn’t remember. You had at least one stint in rehab you didn’t remember, and at least one arrest, maybe more.

Several. That’s correct.

You parked a car somewhere in Minneapolis and never found it again.

My brother, who gave me that car, carries a resentment about that to this day.

I mean, completely losing a car is kind of a funny story …

Unless you need one.

But smoking crack on the day your kids are born is a lot less funny. Nearly killing yourself and your kids in a head-on collision because you’ve been drinking and driving, which happened a lot more recently — that’s not funny at all. You’re walking a razor’s edge in this book between hilarious yarns about your cokehead misadventures and stuff that’s genuinely shocking.

I would say that when I was writing this I didn’t know what I was doing. I have a context for everything that occurred in my mind, and it turned out great. I have a job I like and I’m married to someone I love and my daughters are fine. But I would say this: The story changed when I went and reported it, but it sort of changed when I wrote it too, and it ended up in the hands of other people. The atavism and violence and recklessness of some of the things I had done, which seemed very distant to me and not a part of who I am, have re-imaged me in the present. I wasn’t really ready for that. I feel normal. I don’t feel like a maniac.

Your original version of the story, the classic narrative of abasement and redemption, as you put it — a story of a guy who does terrible things but mostly means well — did not completely hold up once you started reporting it out.

There’s two stories here, and I tend to focus on one of them. The whole “everything was horrible, now everything is good” story, which is a meme of culture, doesn’t turn out to be true in my life or anybody else’s either. I mean, it turned out pretty nice for me, believe me. A lot of people I went back to see were under headstones.

Early on in the book you have this devastating sort of list, with the headings “Here Is What I Deserved” and “Here Is What I Got.” Under the first heading you’ve got hepatitis, HIV, homelessness, federal prison and an early, miserable death. Instead of that, you’re married, you’ve got a great job, your kids are healthy and you seem like a well-adjusted middle-aged guy.

Unless I jump up and start choking you in the middle of this interview. Don’t say the wrong thing! You don’t know, man!

And then you ask how the first guy turned into the second guy, and admit you have no idea.

I wrote a whole book and I still don’t know. My dad said, “Well, nuns prayed for you.” You know what? I’m going with that.

A couple of things happened for me. I came from a really nice family, so when I got custody of my kids and demonstrated some resolve, they came swooping in. My mom did laundry, my brother got me a car, etc. Many people I had worked with before gave me jobs. I got a lot more breaks, being born of means, being white, being college-educated, being male.

And apart from that, I did the work. I did both the work of recovery and the work of craft. In professional terms, I don’t think anybody would accuse me of being excessively brilliant or some kind of extraordinary writer. I’m an earner and an autodidact, and if you take those obsessions that may have been arrayed over other things and apply them to journalism, they’re going to yield some blessings.

Explain why the book is called “The Night of the Gun,” because it isn’t obvious when you pick it up.

I loathe guns. I loathe people who carry them, and now I have a book called “The Night of the Gun.” There was this one night — and anybody who’s had issues with substances has stories something like this. I got fired, I drank too much, I took some pills and ended up out of my skull at my friend’s house, trying to kick the door in. As I remembered it down through the years, he finally came to the door with a handgun and said, “You have to go away.”

At the time, I forgave him almost immediately, because I was being a jerk and he probably wouldn’t have shot me. But when I went back to see him 20 years later, and he listened to the whole long story about what happened that night, and then said, “Yeah, that all happened. Except for the gun — I think you had it.”

I was like, “Oh sure, I came wobbling up to your house with a handgun.” But then, a year later, I was talking to another friend, a professor of creative writing in New Orleans who was around at the time. He had moved me once in the dead of night, and he was the one who had to go back into my house and get my gun.

And you had no clear memory of ever owning a gun?

No. I can accommodate a lot of things, and I did get into a lot of jams here and there. But no matter how drunk or crazed I was, I couldn’t see myself being the kind of person who waved a gun around.

You said earlier that there are two stories here. They’re contradictory currents in some ways. There’s the forward momentum of this story about a guy who screws up massively and then begins to put his life together. And then there’s this other story about that guy later, beginning to discover that the truth is not exactly what he thought it was. And that raises questions about whether his self, or anybody’s self, is what we think it is.

When I was writing it, up in the Adirondacks, there was something head snapping about the present tense and the past tense, looking back and moving forward. I was worried it would be bumpy and unreadable. I didn’t want to go with a straight chronology, and I wanted to put out an early template saying that everything turned out OK, because why would the reader crawl across broken glass otherwise? You know, the demographic for the book so far has been women of a certain age, and I don’t think they’re sticking around to see what happens to me. They care about those kids, and they want to find out what happens to them. The jerk that they’re stapled to, they just kind of keep an eye on him along the way.

In your first few chapters, you engage in some fairly heavy-duty philosophizing about the nature of memory, about what we know about the past. “We all remember the parts of the past that allow us to meet the future,” you write. The way we see ourselves is a tool that allows us to keep going, whether or not it bears much relationship to the truth.

It’s an ancient human impulse and a current meme of culture, to make yourself up and invent yourself. At the same time, there’s all this cheap, ubiquitous technology that’s overlaid on that. There’s almost this life-blogging going on. It’s like they say in certain recovery movements: “Damn what you say, I’ll watch what you do.”

I have no academic background in philosophy or anything, but I did do a lot of reading and tried to come up with these synthetic rails I could move the book down. Some of my friends said, “It’s been said by others and said better, so don’t go there.” I said, “But that’s really my book.” Otherwise I’m just, I went here, then I drank too much, then I shot dope in my eyeball, then I found Jesus or whatever and now everything is new again. I don’t want to write that book. So this is my added value. I do wish I’d started earlier and been more thorough with the investigation, and I wish I’d gotten help earlier on, because we might have found additional stuff. What drives the book narratively is the reveals: I thought things were this way but they were really that way.

Right. One of the most wrenching stories is when you go back to interview an ex-girlfriend, whom you call Doolie, and she remembers you clearly as an abuser. Not just verbally or psychologically but also physically.

Yes.

And you didn’t remember it that way.

No. I remembered that we had a very physical relationship in all regards, and that she had done things to me and I had done things to her. Of course, with the benefit of hindsight, 20 years later: I weighed 250 pounds. I was in complete physical control of any situation I was in. So regardless of whatever the precursor event was, I totally could have walked away, and what I chose to do was stand instead, and inflict, uh, pain. She even demonstrated how I did it.

It’s sickening. I have 20-year-old daughters, and I haven’t been in a fight in several decades. I’m not a person who’s going to hop out of his car and start screaming at people. I’ve read in some reviews about what a profound lack of self-awareness I’ve shown around that and other matters. I really can’t explain it. A lot of people drink and don’t hit people. There are a lot of ways to be a drunk or a junkie. I’ve made that speech myself. Why did I choose this way? What does it say about my character or my history?

How tough was it to to go back and meet with Doolie, and with Anna, the mother of the daughters you ended up raising? These are two women who don’t necessarily have the fondest memories of you.

[Long silence.] The thing with Doolie was like — I was incredibly nervous about it, but it was all very natural and fine. She’s a bear trap for dates and details, and she was just a complete gold mine. We got done and I said, “You’ve been really gracious with me, and really helpful, and I don’t really understand why.” She said, “You don’t remember this either, but we left it nice, me and you.”

With the mother of the kids, I hadn’t seen her in 10 years. There’s this miserable set of behavior that neither of us wants to own. Coming up with a common version of events with her was, um — yeah, it was ugly. It was painful. Oddly enough, though, she’s fine with the book. The Web site has her video on it, and a note from her. Her main concern about the book was that if that history got laid out our children, Erin and Meagan, wouldn’t want anything to do with her. It was precisely the opposite. It put her behavior in a context where they could understand it better. It seemed to help their relationship.

That’s something tangible that you accomplished, right there. That has an accidental selflessness to it. That might have been one of the best things you could do for her.

Well, I got 1,200 e-mails when an excerpt of the book ran in the New York Times Magazine, and a lot of them were from people seeking recovery. There’s the question of what really is hopeless: a thug, friendless and jobless, who 15 or 20 years later has what I have. That’s sort of a powerful and wonderful message. I’d like to think, even though there’s all this dark, terrible stuff in the book, that the clinical, classic redemptive uplift, the hug at the end, is there and real. I believe in recovery. I believe in the fundaments of recovery. Part of the gesture of the book, all gooey stuff aside, is an effort to give back. And yeah, I might have settled some things personally along the way.

Like so many people that are going to read your book, I have my own history with this stuff. I was probably doing coke when we hung out in Boston in 1994.

And you never shared! You kept going to the bathroom — I just thought you had a cold at the time!

I was deep in the minor leagues compared to you, but I had a close friend in San Francisco, my main drug buddy, who did a lot of that crazy stuff you did. He pawned his wedding ring to buy crack. He traded his car for crack.

You see people do all those things that your friend did and you wonder: What is with that guy? That’s why I tried to keep it really basic. There’s something sort of mysterious, almost a kind of possession, that’s under way, and I tried to get under that. You don’t start out deciding to be a complete raving maniac. It happens incrementally. It’s fun, and then it’s not.

Going back to the competing currents in your book, there’s this difficult and somewhat embarrassing section late in the story, when you have a relapse. In the early part of this decade, you started drinking again, and you suggest, very briefly, that you did some cocaine too.

Yeah, that’s true. Probably twice, I guess.

You wound up getting two DUI arrests …

I had one Driving While Impaired, which is not legally drunk, and then a classic DUI, like a .20 or something like that. Bad. Bad. Dangerous.

And that last arrest was relatively recent, like three years ago.

Yes. It was arrogance, boredom, I don’t know. A friend of mine was reading the book and said it sounded like classic midlife crisis. Not much more glamorous than that. I think that’s true. I was a little bored, so it wasn’t the office affair or the red convertible. It was “I’ll pour whiskey all over this and see how it goes.”

Unfriendly readers may well ask, “Why should we believe this guy about anything? He spent 14 years sober and got drunk again and nearly killed his family in a car accident? So why’s he telling us it’s all going to be OK?”

I didn’t say that. That’s bullshit.

I’m projecting that onto the reader.

No, you’re projecting that onto me and that’s bullshit. I never say anything like that. Let’s talk about what’s real. And what’s real is: Why would they believe anything I say? Because I document it.

OK, let’s make it specific. After that, why should we believe you’re going to stay sober?

I say in the book that I could be drunk tomorrow or shooting dope the next day. There’s no implicit sort of promise. I say that I like being normal, that I like the fruits of normalcy and that I’m happy. I never made a commitment. You need, or the reader needs, to say, “And everything will be hunky-dory forever.” That is not the message of my book. It’s a cautionary tale in that regard.

When you spend three years looking into the wreckage of your past, it tends to help you keep focused on the next right thing. It’s been great for my overall health and chemical well-being to work on this book. It may have been part of why I did it, I don’t know. There’s millions of people who get and stay sober without writing books. I think I had been busy forgetting some things. I thought I could be this tidy little suburban drunk, and in fact I’m not. I’m a lunatic. I’ve got the allergy to beverage alcohol.

Addiction remains pretty hard to understand for people who don’t have it. I was more like the kind of yuppie dilettante you’ve seen a lot of, I’m sure. I smoked crack one night with my buddy — the one I talked about earlier — and then of course we went right out and bought some more. And it was great. And after I finally got two hours of sleep I got up and said, “If I ever do that again, that’s the road to hell.”

I think that’s a really, like, common and sensible response, and I think that’s the vast majority of people. You’re essentially mainlining a Schedule 1 narcotic right into your bloodstream, and most people get a sense of that lurid ambush and they go, “No. I’m not the one.” For a certain number of people, me included, it’s like, “That was the best thing ever. Let’s do it again.” Why? Well, something that completely and totally rings the bell on every endorphin you have — why would you do that again? You got me. That’s totally mysterious!

Do you actively regret having done all that stuff? Or is that not a valid question for you?

I regret a lot of it, yeah. I would never have said that before I did this book. I love the book and I’m really proud of it and happy with it. I don’t really like the story very much. I don’t like the guy in it or the things he does. I don’t feel any sort of junkie pride in any of it.

That’s the part of the book that turned out after I wrote it. I began to see myself through other people’s eyes. Just like, wow, that guy really is an asshole. I think of myself as, you know, a single parent who got my kids off welfare, lived through cancer, did this, did that, got really good jobs. I don’t tend to focus on the other things. And so, yeah, I’ve had my moods with it. It’s given me the darks a few times.

Pick of the week: An early-’60s hipster time capsule

Pick of the week: Shirley Clarke's once-banned "The Connection" is a lean, mean saga of jazz, junk and rebellion

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Pick of the week: An early-'60s hipster time capsule

A time capsule loaded with smack from the bohemian underbelly of JFK-era America, Shirley Clarke’s 1961 film “The Connection” is an illustration of how much things change, and how much they stay the same. I’d be stretching to call “The Connection” a great film — it’s mannered and edgy, in a way that’s partly deliberate but also distinctive to its period — but it’s an important one in cultural and historic terms, despite being largely unknown. Watching this ensemble drama about a multiracial group of New York jazz musicians and beat philosophers in a run-down apartment, waiting for their drug dealer to show up, is like traveling back 50 years in time, only to encounter the same people you might meet on the street today (at least, in certain neighborhoods of Brooklyn, San Francisco, Austin and so on). At one point, the characters even debate the illusory distinctions between “hipsters” and “squares.”

A Park Avenue society girl turned Greenwich Village beatnik, Clarke was the pioneering female director in the early history of American independent film, good friends with John Cassavetes, Frederick Wiseman, Jonas Mekas and other downtown legends of the period. If her name and her films have virtually disappeared from history, that’s partly due to institutional sexism, no doubt, and partly to bad luck and bad timing. Milestone Films, which is releasing this version of “The Connection” restored by the UCLA Film & Television Archive, will go on to release Clarke’s 1960s documentaries “Robert Frost: A Quarrel With the World” and “Portrait of Jason,” an interview with a black gay street hustler, along with her 1985 comeback film “Ornette: Made in America,” about jazz legend Ornette Coleman. (Clarke died in 1997.)

“The Connection,” Clarke’s first feature, was a high-profile project, the screen adaptation of a 1959 Living Theater play by Jack Gelber that had become a cause célèbre despite scathing reviews, attracting uptown artistic types like Leonard Bernstein, Salvador Dalì and Lillian Hellman to take a walk on the wild side. Clarke and her producer, Lewis Allen, funded the film’s $177,000 budget — not so meager, at the time — through the then-unknown tactic of collecting small sums from a large number of investors, establishing a model that endures in micro-budget and mid-budget filmmaking to this day. (Weirdly enough, as Manohla Dargis has reported in the New York Times, former Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum’s parents were among the investors, along with Norman Mailer and architect Philip Johnson.)

But once completed, “The Connection” only screened twice at a single theater on Manhattan’s 45th Street before being closed by New York State’s censorship board. I’m not sure which is more amazing: the fact that New York had a censorship board in the early ’60s that could control what movies the public saw, or the reason for the seizure of “The Connection,” which was two or three uses of the word “shit” (as a synonym for drugs). By the time some edits were made and the ban lifted, public interest had faded, largely because of a swath of unrebutted hostile reviews. Bosley Crowther of the Times, a noted get-off-my-lawn crank of the time, wrote an especially peculiar one in which he praised the actors, the live jazz soundtrack and Clarke’s “bold direction,” but described the film overall as “deadly monotonous, in addition to being sordid and disagreeable.”

I won’t pretend not to understand what Crowther was talking about. “The Connection” remains much better known among jazz fans for its soundtrack album featuring pianist Freddie Redd and saxophonist Jackie McLean (who play live in the film, as they did onstage), than it is among movie buffs as, you know, a film. Clarke should certainly get credit for exploring the faux-documentary format decades before it became a film-school gimmick (the story-within-a-story premise was already present in Gelber’s play), but the first 10 minutes or so of “The Connection” are decidedly awkward. Squaresville white filmmaker Jim Dunn (William Redfield) wanders around in his high-waisted chinos, trying to convince the group of crashed-out junkie hipsters to “act natural” and “be themselves,” and assuring them that he’s studied the documentaries of Robert Flaherty and knows what he’s doing. (A dig at the old-school variety of documentary film, before cinéma-vérité, I guess.) It’s clear that the addicts would rather relate to Dunn’s hipper African-American cameraman, J.J. Burden (an early role for future Hollywood character actor Roscoe Lee Browne), who is rarely seen but makes occasional oracular pronouncements.

In the interests of art, Dunn has apparently agreed to finance a major purchase from a smack dealer named Cowboy, but for most of the movie we are obviously encouraged to ponder the similarities between drug culture and Beckett’s “Waiting for Godot,” and to wonder whether Cowboy will ever show up at all. Prowling the dingy, open flat restlessly — it looks disconcertingly like a group household I actually lived in, 20-odd years ago — Clarke’s camera introduces us to the all-male assemblage, in fragmentary interviews. Leach (Warren Finnerty), a wiry, whiny fellow who looks and acts alarmingly like the young Steve Buscemi, is the official tenant. He is troubled by a painful boil on his neck, which may symbolize the fact that the other denizens suspect him of being gay. As his black friend Sam (Jim Anderson) will tell him later, he’d be more relaxed if he could “get with the whole homosexual scene.”

There’s also Ernie (Garry Goodrow), an embittered-genius West Coast white jazzman who has hocked his horn to buy junk, and Solly (Jerome Raphael), an educated, middle-class Jewish guy who has thrown it all away for philosophical reasons, or none at all. McLean, Redd, bass player Michael Mattos and drummer Larry Richie get fewer lines, but every so often pick up their instruments to deliver angled, edgy blasts of early-’60s hard bop. Today these characters would presumably be obsessed by some other cultural form — hip-hop or Scandinavian black metal or YouTube clips or hockey fights or something else I’ve never even heard of — and they’d be able to badger Cowboy with illiterate texts every few minutes. But they’d basically be the same guys; Gelber’s characters are drawn so sharply that many 21st-century viewers will identify people they know or used to know (perhaps even people they used to be).

When Cowboy finally arrives (played by Carl Lee, who would become Clarke’s longtime partner), he turns out to be the archetypal “hip Negro” in Ray-Ban shades, sporting a blazing white outfit and a messianic mien, and bringing with him an old-lady evangelist, as comic relief and cover story. He brings other kinds of blessings too, the kind that allow this cast of semi-lovable, self-destructive losers to get through another day. The central conflict faced by the characters in “The Connection” doesn’t have much to do with heroin, though — that too is a symbol or synecdoche. It goes way back before Clarke’s time, not to mention ours. If this film has something to say to us now — and I emphatically think it does — it’s about the costs and opportunities that come with “dropping out” of mainstream society, in the name of political-cultural-aesthetic rebellion. It asks a question that has no answer, one that every disgruntled young dreamer — every potential Shirley Clarke, of every generation — must face on her own.

“The Connection” is now playing at the IFC Center in New York, with other cities and DVD release to follow.

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Drug-personality misconceptions

Alcoholic writers? Coke-head stockbrokers? The links between personality type and addiction are largely overblown

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Drug-personality misconceptionsErnest Hemingway (Credit: John F. Kennedy Presidential Library & Museum)
This article originally on The Fix.

Here’s Ernest Hemingway, dead drunk on a stool in Cuba with his face on his hand and his hand on an ever-present mojito. He’s the tormented writer, hard at work at the daily scrubbing of his sins. Like the Hard-Drinking Writer, we’ve come to expect certain personality types to have certain habits: The Morose Musician with Keith Richards’ appetite for heroin; the Insecure Starlet with Marilyn’s taste for pills; the Monomaniacal Money Manager with a nose for cocaine. They are generalizations that have been imprinted by generations of popular culture. But the types don’t necessarily line up.

the fixThe logic of associating personalities with specific drugs seems natural. A German-British psychologist named Hans Eysenck spent the mid-20th century turning the eye of the scientific community from Freud’s behavior-based theories to individualized psychology—pioneering the science of personality. He considered this pursuit of matching personalities with drugs a pet project.

Eynsenck believed the ways people are inclined to think aren’t always the ways that make us feel best. And because drugs are the easiest way to modify temperament, it’s only natural for us to seek out those substances that keep us on an even keel. For instance, he thought that introverts, whose brains are always chewing at problems, should crave depressants to quiet the incessant mental chatter. Extroverts, easily bored, should chase the rush of stimulants.

His theory condensed individualized drug cravings into an easy, logical framework—but he was wrong. Or at least, he vastly oversimplified the concepts of both “personality” and “drugs.” Worse, his theory wasn’t borne out by research. Study after study showed both introverts and extroverts drinking alcohol (a depressant) to excess. And extroverts didn’t limit themselves to uppers; it seemed they would reach for all kinds of substances.

So where does that leave us? Well, scientists kept trying to tie the two nebulous concepts together. Over the years, as new methods of personality screening emerged, researchers continued to distribute questionnaires to groups of drug addicts. One major breakthrough came when four sets of psychologists independently realized in the 1980s and 1990s that a person’s personality traits—tendencies that are partially genetic and tend to last throughout life—can be pretty reliably described using five factors.

Introversion and extroversion weren’t enough, they thought. We should also consider openness to new experiences (think Bear Grylls), conscientiousness (Haruki Marukami), agreeableness (Mother Theresa) and neuroticism (Woody Allen) when trying to understand why people act the way they do. Thus armed, personality psychologists began fitting the various personality traits they had come up with over the years into what came to be called the “Big Five.” And lo, with a more accurate representation of traits, a connection between personality and drug use began to emerge.

People who tested high on neuroticism (indicating that they tend to be impulsive, emotionally unstable and anxious), low on conscientiousness (tending to be disorganized, unambitious and lazy), and low on agreeableness (tending to be uncooperative, unhelpful or misanthropic), were more likely to have problems with alcohol or drugs than people whose scores were closer to the middle, or reversed. Perhaps more interestingly to the question of whether personality traits led their owners to cocaine over alcohol, or marijuana over mushrooms, higher scores for each risky trait were linked to higher likelihood of using “hard” drugs like heroin, amphetamines or crack.

“There is some evidence that the more ‘bad’ traits you have, the harder the drugs you’re going to use,” says Michigan State Department of Psychology professor Chris Hopwood. “So super, super-impulsive, sensation-seeking, neurotic people might be inclined to use something like heroin, for example, whereas if you’re a little bit less impulsive or have more anxiety about things maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe you would use other drugs but you would be too afraid to use heroin.”

Not all the personality factors that appear in people with drug problems are negative, however:

Sensation-seeking—a facet of openness to experience that’s common among extreme sports athletes, explorers, philanderers and roller coaster-enthusiasts—is almost always associated with drug abuse, but doesn’t necessarily scale with using harder drugs. Marijuana users, for instance, have been shown to be high in sensation-seeking, with closer-to-average levels of neuroticism.

Sensation-seeking seems to be about 60 percent heritable—meaning about 60 percent of the trait comes from your genes—and appears to be related to the brain’s dopamine reward system, the same system that makes most drugs of abuse pleasurable. Sensation-seeking may even be related to where you live, through interactions with neighbors—or, in the case of, say, New York City, through self-selection. A study by Jason Rentfrow, Sam Gosling and Jeff Potter that was analyzed by Richard Florida on the Atlantic’s Atlantic Cities blog showed that Openness to Experience scaled with drug use when compared within states. And which states had the highest levels of both illicit drug use and openness? Colorado, Vermont, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Massachusetts, New York and California.

Given the personality characteristics that seemed to split “hard” versus “soft” drugs, scientists began to wonder if—even if they couldn’t predict who would take uppers over downers—there was a way to predict who would become an alcoholic and who would abuse illegal drugs. The studies showed some remarkable similarities: One study conducted among veterans suggested that all addicts share interpersonal styles that tend toward loner, rebel and pessimist stereotypes, for example, which surprised no one who has ever seen “Leaving Las Vegas.” But there did appear to be a little something extra that could push a person into hard drug addiction.

People who use illicit drugs often have been shown to have higher rates of both extroversion and susceptibility to boredom, which may drive them into more situations where drugs appear, or simply make them more likely to crave new subjective experiences. And those who are particularly susceptible to boredom have been shown to use opiates more often.

But this is where the studies break down. Most research on the topic of how personality relates to drugs of choice is conducted among people who already have drugs of choice—addicts. And as any addict knows, once you’ve taken a shine to a drug, it can be exceedingly difficult to disentangle the personality factors that came before from the ones that came after. By the time the personality questionnaires are administered, who’s to say what caused the drug use and what the drug use caused?

“It could go either way,” says Hopson. “A person who uses heroin might end up having problems in their life. Perhaps he loses his job, perhaps then he starts stealing things. You could easily tell a story that goes, the heroin started first and then the person started doing all kinds of mean antisocial things. Or you could tell a story that says that the person was sort of a ‘bad’ person, if you’ll forgive the language, and one of the bad things they did was use heroin.”

There are also direct effects of drugs that scientists have to consider. Crack and cocaine abusers, for example, have shown personality traits related to the symptom of paranoia in certain studies, as well as depression and impulsivity and a trait terrifyingly called “psychoticism.” Because long-term crack or cocaine use can cause many of these effects, however, it’s unlikely that those traits cause people to take up stimulants. Rather, it appears that long-term crack or cocaine use might be able to alter the expression of certain traits to create a “stimulant user profile.”

Regardless of the qualms of scientists, however, quiz websites and message boards hoping to connect personality to a particular drug have popped up all over the Internet. Many focus on Myers-Briggs personality types (ENFP, ISTJ, etc.), which are commonly used by career counselors to assess how people prefer to perceive and organize information. Others skip the science altogether, selecting a drug you’re likely to use based on the clothes you wear, the events you attend, where you live, and your perceived flaws.

Will science ever reach that degree of accuracy—explaining just what it is that seems to make neurotic writers more likely to drink than use heroin? It’s certainly possible, says Hopson. “One way to think about personality is in terms of traits, which are stable and heritable. But you can also think about personality dynamics, like how do I react if you insult me, for example. That’s sort of my guess is that which drugs you use depend on the more complicated personality dynamics.”

Assuming you’ve got the traits that push you toward drug use in the first place, what else might lead you to one substance over another? Hopson says factors that play a role include what your parents use, what your friends use, and even simply what’s available where you live. Which perhaps explains Hemingway’s situation better than we could have expected: there sure was a lot of rum in Cuba.

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Former neuroscientist Jacqueline Detwiler edits a travel magazine by day, but moonlights as a science writer. Her work has appeared in Wired, Men's Health, Fitness and Forbes.

My suburban pot secret

I thought starting my own medical marijuana operation would be easy and safe. Then the DEA crackdown started VIDEO

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My suburban pot secret (Credit: Yellowj via Shutterstock)

It was sometime around 2 a.m. when I heard the car doors slam. I live on a very quiet street in Fort Collins, Colo., surrounded by working families who are usually falling asleep under the blue glow of their TVs by 10 p.m., and any noise in the night usually means that something is about to happen. And on that night I was certain it was about to happen to me.

Six marijuana plants were growing in my basement and because of shortsighted planning on my part, their odor had gotten completely out of control. Having never grown pot before, I foolishly overlooked the prominent admonitions printed in every growing guide I relied upon to help me with my harvest, that odor control was of the utmost importance. But equipment designed to mask the smell (ozone generators, activated carbon filters) is expensive. How much stench could six little plants really produce? I remember thinking. Well, a lot.

As I lay there in bed night after night praying that sealed doors and windows would at least contain the eau de cannabis indoors and not alert the neighbors to what I was up to, I inevitably questioned my wisdom. I’m not a drug dealer or suffering from some crippling illness. I don’t even smoke marijuana for fun; if I did, I’d at least have a better excuse for subjecting not only myself but my wife and son to the stress of running a clandestine suburban marijuana farm.

I’m just an author whose idea to research and write about medical marijuana laws and the legalization debate through hands-on experience seemed damned near genius when I concocted it in late 2009, while watching an episode of “Weeds.” That looks subversively fun, I thought. And profitable. And hey, I live in Colorado, one of what was at the time 13 states to approve medical marijuana use. Writing about this law and all of its attendant controversies — is it just a ploy by clever potheads to give legal cover to perfectly healthy stoners, or was there something to the whole medical benefits argument? — through complete immersion was a no-brainer. I’d be the A.J. Jacobs of pot and have far more fun than he had: Would you rather try to abide by the dictates of the Bible for a year or grow some weed and try to abide by your state’s medical marijuana laws?

Diving into the deep end of a subject is nothing new for me, even if it means breaking the law. I once tried to smuggle a diamond out of West Africa while researching diamond smuggling for “Blood Diamonds” (the rough diamond I bought on the black market in Freetown, it turned out, was a fake, but I didn’t know that until I got to the United States). I learned how to pick locks for “Flawless,” a book about a diamond heist, and I even snuck myself into the vault that was robbed so I could see what it was like. Compared to those minor crimes committed in my dedication to research, what was growing a little pot?

A lot more than I’d bargained for, as it turned out. First of all, it’s no minor crime. It’s a federal felony to grow even a single marijuana plant, with a minimum fine of $250,000 and a minimum five-year prison sentence. This is true whether you’re growing to alleviate the symptoms of chemotherapy, to get stoned watching “South Park” or for journalistic research. I knew this going in, of course, and figured that with so many people growing marijuana in Colorado at the time — in late 2009, in the wake of the Ogden memo, which signaled that the feds were going to leave state-sanctioned medical marijuana users and their suppliers alone, you were hard-pressed to find someone who wasn’t at least considering the idea — there would be safety in numbers.

While this turned out to be generally true, there were a number of worrisome developments once my plans were too far along to stop, primarily a steady stream of arrests and DEA raids on people using the medical marijuana law. The most high-profile was the case of Chris Bartkowicz, a suburban grower in nearby Denver, who was raided by the DEA and busted for growing more than 200 plants. He came to the attention of the DEA by going on the nightly news — using his real name and not bothering to obscure his face — to boast about his grow operation, an unfortunate decision compounded by the fact that his house was located within 1,000 feet of an elementary school, an automatic sentence enhancement.

I had no plans to even remotely follow his example. Once I qualified as a medical marijuana patient (with the help of a doctor whose definition of “severe pain” helpfully included my complaints about a sore back) I would only be growing six plants, the maximum allowed under state law for individual patients. My home is half a mile from the nearest school. And I obviously didn’t intend to issue a press release to the TV stations about my little project

But still. Bartkowicz faced 40 years in prison (he took a plea bargain and will serve five). I was fairly certain that the DEA wouldn’t waste its time taking down such a small-timer like me, but once the pot began to bloom in the basement and become fragrant, even I started to wonder if they’d somehow multiplied from six into 600. A Catch-22 of the state medical marijuana law is that the only way you can prove you’re in compliance with it is after you’ve been busted. If it’s the DEA that does the busting, whether you’re toeing the line or not is immaterial — federal law trumps state law.

The slamming doors in the night turned out to be nothing, of course. Just some neighbors coming home from a late dinner. Is this really worth it? I asked myself, crouched in my underwear and peering through the curtains.

The answer was yes, and for a most unexpected reason. Before this experiment, I was perfectly ambiguous about whether marijuana was legal or not. I wasn’t opposed to recreational smoking but because I don’t use it myself, I haven’t felt much enthusiasm to agitate for its legalization. If you’d pressed me, I would agree that the expense of enforcing its total prohibition — an expense borne not just by taxpayers, to the tune of some $13 billion annually, but also by those who are busted and face personal and financial ruin — makes little sense, but also that there are more pressing issues to deal with. And like many who haven’t given the matter much thought, I had some skepticism about its purported medical benefits. Without a pressing medical need prompting me to find out for myself, I was happy to let more interested parties hash it out.

What propelled me into the debate was the outrage medical marijuana laws had generated, not just in Colorado but across the country. The often ill-considered over-reaching by marijuana proponents — for many reasonable people who are undecided about pot, garish dispensaries blazing neon pot leaves from their local strip malls feel like being given the finger — was nothing compared to the militaristic hysteria unleashed by the federal government. Cops were busting into homes and blowing away the family pets looking for reefer and in many cases, turning up next to nothing. Perfectly sober businesses (to speak in relative terms) that followed the letter of their state laws were being pulverized under the heels of DEA agents. Although my personal experiences with marijuana are limited (and well in the past), I knew enough about the effects of pot to realize that the governmental reaction was far out of proportion to the actual threat.

That perception became sharply focused the more I learned about marijuana’s potential as a valid therapeutic tool in treating everything from cancer to nausea. The government’s rabid insistence that medical marijuana is as real as the tooth fairy is simply wrong. The National Institute of Cancer sees promise in its ability to attack tumors. It’s been known for decades to battle chemo-induced nausea better than oral drugs that have the obvious drawback of being vomited up before they can take effect. MS patients have used it to ease the spasticity in their muscles. Cannabinoids — marijuana’s unique ingredients that interact with specific receptors in the brain — have anti-inflammatory effects and can relieve pain. Importantly, cannabinoid receptors aren’t found in the parts of the brain that regulate breathing, which could be one of the reasons no one has ever died of an overdose, making marijuana safer than many foods we eat.

Delving further, I found that one of my own relatives, a cousin who had lost a battle with mesothelioma, had used marijuana to cope with chemotherapy. She lived in New York, where her caring friends and family members had no choice but to deal in the criminal underground to get it, while in nearly a third of the states (most of them in the West) patients could shop with dignity at their choice of dispensaries. That perfectly healthy people who’ve faked their way into the system can do so too is — to me, at least — a small price to pay for those patients to safely obtain the relief they need. It’s certainly not an abomination worthy of the crackdown that has resulted.

Medical marijuana laws are not perfect. They can indeed be easy for healthy people to abuse. Without the involvement of regulators early in the process of developing systems for sale and distribution, which requires a state government more willing to address the issue than simply by plugging its ears and covering its eyes, hoping it will go away, chaos can result. Cops and politicians are going gray overnight with impotence and confusion, usually causing them to overreact and unleash the hounds. Chronically strait-laced citizens who will never believe anyone but the government on this issue see them as evidence of moral meltdown.

But one of the unintended consequences of these laws is that it forces more reasonable folks who might never have given much thought to the issue of medical marijuana — people like me, in other words — to take the effort to sort through the hype. It sounds trite to herald my enlightenment as something newsworthy when so many have figured out long ago what an indefensible failure the war on marijuana has been and that it’s morally repugnant to continue it in the face of mounting evidence of its credibility as a medical substance. But the truth is, without medical marijuana laws and all of their attendant upheaval, I never would have been interested enough to grow my own and embark on my own process of discovery. I may never have seen the light.

In that regard, federal drug cultivation laws were the best ones I’ve ever broken.

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Greg Campbell's new book is called "Pot, Inc.: Inside Medical Marijuana, America's Most Outlaw Industry." He is the author of "Flawless: Inside the Largest Diamond Heist in History," "Blood Diamonds: Tracing the Deadly Path of the World's Most Precious Stones" (the source material for the Leonardo DiCaprio movie of the same name) and "The Road to Kosovo: A Balkan Diary." Campbell is also an award-winning journalist whose his writing has appeared in The Wall Street Journal Magazine, The Economist, The San Francisco Times, Paris Match, and The Christian Science Monitor, among others. He lives in Fort Collins, CO.

America’s pill-popping capital

Welcome to Kermit, W.Va. -- ground zero of the prescription drug epidemic

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America's pill-popping capital (Credit: iStockphoto/Salon)
We're proud to announce that we've teamed with AlterNet to pursue the most important under-covered stories in the country. This story is the first product of our Salon-AlterNet Investigative Fund.

KERMIT, W.Va. — It takes less than a minute to drive past Kermit, five to tour the place entirely. An old coal mining town with barely 300 residents and one blinking light between the train tracks, Kermit has no supermarket, no clothing store, no main drag. Main Street is really a side street with rows of cottages, its biggest building, the Kermit community center, empty and boarded.

Yet in this tiny town, the Kermit Sav-Rite Pharmacy used to be as busy as a New York deli. Six employees worked the counter, lines at the drive-through window snaked around the square cinder-block building, and the parking lot was full day and night.

Of course, everyone in Kermit — just about everyone in the wooded hollows of Mingo County — knew the Sav-Rite was a pill mill. It handed out Xanax, Lortabs, Vicodin — all manner of the prescription painkillers and anti-anxiety drugs that are crippling Appalachia like a rogue disease — to anyone with an excuse. Kermit, which sits in the poorest, most remote corner of southwest West Virginia at the Kentucky border, was drawing pill addicts from all over the Eastern seaboard. People were throwing pill parties in the parking lot. Trading pills, buying, selling, injecting, snorting, the works.

This went on for years before the law could stop it. In February, more than two years after the DEA and FBI stormed the Sav-Rite, seizing cases of files, its owner, John T. Wooley, pleaded guilty to selling prescription pills by fraudulent means. Wooley, in cahoots with a pill mill “pain management” clinic that existed to sell scripts, was filling prescriptions as if the fate of mankind depended on it.  The Kermit Sav-Rite, along with another one Wooley owned in a tiny hamlet about 10 miles from Kermit, together doled out enough hydrocodone, the main ingredient in Vicodin and Lortabs, for every man, woman and child in West Virginia (population: 1. 8 million). The Sav-Rites moved almost 3.2 million dosage units of hydrocodone in 2006, the year the U.S. attorney used to make a case, compared with the national average of 97,000. Wooley, who sold the Kermit store a few months ago (he lost the other to the feds’ raid), faces four years in prison and a $250,000 fine at his sentencing in May. At 76 years old, he could probably better afford the fine than the time. Agents who raided the Kermit store said cash drawers were so stuffed they couldn’t close.

But shutting down pill mills in these parts is like playing Whac-A-Mole: As soon as a lawless “pain management” clinic or pharmacy is smacked down, others spring up. Investigations take years before prosecutions can be secured.  And pill mills are only part of the problem. Most often, pill addicts get their drugs from friends or on the street. Drug gangs from cities like Detroit, Atlanta and Columbus, Ohio, have also moved in on the action, setting up drug “stores” in residences and other fronts. Almost fondly, people here recall when Oxycontin was jokingly called “hillbilly heroin ”and pill addicts were “pillbillies.” No one is joking now. What is happening in Appalachia, about 10 years into an explosion of prescription drug abuse, is so pervasive a problem that law enforcement officials say they cannot solve it alone.

The West Virginia newspapers offer daily examples of what the Mingo County sheriff, Lonnie Hannah, calls the “spinoffs of drug abuse”: Murders, assaults, robberies, burglaries, domestic violence, child abuse, child neglect, elder abuse, DUIs, overdose deaths. West Virginia, the ninth smallest state, has the highest rate of prescription drug overdose deaths in the nation.

Hannah estimates that two-thirds of the crimes and incidents his department handles are related to pill abuse. Chasing down pill dealing is more than enough work by itself. “It’s all over the county,” Hannah said, at his headquarters in the city of Williamson (nickname: Pill-iamson), the Mingo County seat. Authorities keep busting pill mills and dealers in the city of 3,000 residents, only to see them start up again. “Whenever we move in,” Hannah said, “they move around to someplace else.”

People in these parts have a word for pill abuse: “pilling.”  So much of it goes on that everyone has a story. They know someone who has abused or is abusing pills. They know parents who have lost custody of their children or neighbors who have lost good jobs or friends who have died because of them. They are shocked to hear that in some places in the country, say, San Francisco, pilling is neither a word nor a fact of life.

But that could be changing.  As the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention keeps warning, prescription drug abuse is spreading. Pills, especially Xanax, the anti-anxiety drug manufactured by Pfizer, and Vicodin, Loracet and Lortabs, highly addictive opioid painkillers familiar to anyone who has had a wisdom tooth removed, are being abused more and more, all over. What started out as a situation in poor isolated areas of the country left to their own devices has taken root and spread, across Appalachia and beyond.

You can find pockets of pill abuse from Orange County, Calif., to Staten Island, NY (sometimes now called Pill Island). Nationally, the abuse of prescription pain relievers, as evidenced by treatment submissions, has gone up 430 percent in the last decade, according to a new report by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration in Washington, D.C. The report says states with the highest rise in prescription painkiller abuse include Maine, Vermont, Delaware, Kentucky, Maryland, Arkansas, Rhode Island and West Virginia.

Last June, pill addiction on Long Island raged into the headlines when a 33-year-old Army veteran, David Laffer, shot and killed four people in a Medford pharmacy while he robbed the store for hydrocodone. A Vicodin addict, he had been getting the drug through doctor shopping — going from one doctor to another to sidestep the monthly limit for scripts — until he lost his job and his insurance.

“If there is a discussion of doctor shopping and prescription pill abuse,” Laffer said upon his sentencing to life without parole, “then perhaps some good can come from this.”

Laffer’s story lingered for barely more than a news cycle. But the spread of pilling may be the saving grace for Appalachia and the other mostly poor, mostly rural parts of the country where little white pills are leveling entire communities.

They offer the cautionary tale: Political leaders, health professionals and community groups in these parts who have been crying for help can show the rest of the country what can happen when pilling runs rampant.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Once, maybe just a few years ago, domestic mayhem like the kind described in the March 28 Williamson Daily News would have been the talk of Mingo County for days on end.

A 911 call brought sheriff’s deputies to unincorporated Dingess, a cluster of houses off a gutted path that can only generously be called a road. A couple had been fighting over pills.

Officers found 32-year-old Charles Earnest Chapman bleeding from stab wounds over his left eye and his abdomen, blood all over the house, a small white pill and pill residue by a children’s play area, and two kids, barely toddlers, hanging out of wide-open windows. In the yard lay an empty bottle of Lortabs, 90 mg. April Dawn Vance, 24 years old, had stabbed Chapman and fled the house, she told officers, after Chapman had knocked her to the ground, beat her and choked her. The children became wards of the state, the couple wards of the county jail.

The story did not prompt a single comment in the local news. Nor did this home invasion, reported the same week: In Williamson, Mingo County’s big city, with 3,000 residents, a man arrested for robbing a house admitted to another robbery where he and a cohort stalked an 85-year-old man, busted into his house, beat him to the floor and stole $340 from his wallet. Police said the man admitted he used the money he stole from the elderly man to buy pills. The Williamson police chief advised residents to lock their doors and windows and be vigilant.

Shootings have become news briefs. On April 2, a 33-year-old Mingo County woman, an admitted pill addict, was sentenced to 40 years in prison for shooting her husband to death during an argument.

Too many pill stories have knocked the shock out of the populace. Southwest West Virginia in the age of pilling is like a country that has been living with war for so long, people could barely remember peace.

Ask people how pilling started and most blame coal mining and Oxycontin. Miners spend much of their time in backbreaking positions, crouched, bent and folded over, and men anxious to keep their jobs have long relied on strong painkillers to keep going. Oxycontin began making the rounds here in the late 1990s. Its maker, Purdue Pharma, touted it aggressively to doctors as a safer alternative to hydrocodone-based pills like Percocet or Vicodin because of its time-release formulation.

That proved a boon to Purdue Pharma, which sold over $1 billion worth of Oxycontin a year. It also proved a lie: In 2007, Purdue Pharma pleaded guilty in federal court in Virginia to misleading doctors and patients by making false claims about Oxycontin’s safety. It paid a $600 million fine, the only time that Big Pharma has been publicly implicated in the pill abuse epidemic.

These days, the coal mining industry in West Virginia is rife with pilling.  In March, a lobbyist for the West Virginia Coal Association told state lawmakers that the association suspects that miners from Kentucky and Virginia who were suspended after failing mandatory drug tests are now working in West Virginia. West Virginia is considering mandatory drug testing as well, especially after several incidents. In one recent accident, the lobbyist said, a miner high on prescription drugs crashed a locomotive into a mine car, killing a co-worker.

Oxycontin, public health experts and addicts themselves will tell you, is not the most-abused prescription drug in West Virginia. In 2010, the drug was reformulated to make it harder for addicts to crush, snort and inject it.  But public health experts say that even before then, by the mid-2000s, hydrocodone-based pills like Vicodin and Lortabs, and Xanax (generically, alprazolam), a benzodiazepine used to treat anxiety and panic disorder, were the drugs of choice in the dirt-poor areas of Appalachia, along with methadone and Percocet. Research on why points to “social determinants” such as poverty, lack of education and lack of opportunities, said Robert Pack, a public health expert at the East Tennessee University College of Public Health who has been studying pill abuse since 2002.

Mingo County (population.: 27,000), which became famous for the Hatfield-McCoy feud of the late 19th  century and the Matewan union-busting massacre of 1920, is second only to its neighboring county, McDowell, for the highest rate of overdose deaths from pills in West Virginia.  Both counties are poor, McDowell the poorest in the state.

But the women at Crossroads, a kind of halfway house for recovering addicts in the town of Gilbert, at the southern end of Mingo County, come from very mixed backgrounds. Some come from broken homes and awful childhoods, others from loving parents. Some never finished high school, others are college graduates.

They consider themselves lucky. They landed in jail or committed to mental wards and were forced to go clean.

Crossroads, run by the Mingo County STOP  (the Strong Through Our Plan Coalition, a nonprofit community organization focused on drug prevention and treatment), requires a 90-day commitment. But many of the women end up staying longer, some longer than a year, as they earn high school equivalency diplomas and, often, try to regain custody of children they lost to the state.

Crossroads is a white single-wide trailer with a big sign on it; the whole town knows what it is and why its residents are there. But that has not hurt their job prospects. Every woman at Crossroads has a job. Local employers like hiring them, they say, since they know the women are clean and routinely drug-tested.

On a recent visit, the women were buzzing over the break-in, the night before, of one of Gilbert’s four pharmacies. The thieves had sawed through concrete dividing the building’s cinder blocks, the same break-in technique used at the Kermit Sav-Rite some months ago.

Long discussions with six of the eight women, who ranged in age from 21 to 37, found few patterns. Several had started using pills after doing other drugs. Others were given a pill by a friend. One had become hooked after receiving a legitimate prescription.

Most ended up on the Oxy Express, driving 15 hours with others, every two weeks, to central Florida to obtain scripts from pill mills there. Until recent crackdowns in Florida, it was the go-to place for pill heads from Appalachia to get their drugs. They’d buy cheap prescriptions and come up and sell them for five times what they paid. The general price on the street for pills is $1 per milligram, so that a 30 mg. Lortab costs $30. But in rural southern West Virginia, because of the demand, the pills cost more: 30 milligrams for $40, 90 milligrams for $100.

Now, the women said, more pill users are heading to Georgia and other states.

Several of the women became criminals: thieves, armed robbers.  One of them had just found out that her best friend and pill partner, 21 years old, had been sentenced to 30 years in prison for armed robbery.

Christine, a 35-year-old recovering opioid addict from Charleston — she did heroin, pills, “anything I could shoot up” — works as a bookkeeper at a local company.  She had done drugs all through college and for years on end afterward, supporting her habit by selling pills and manufacturing methamphetamine. She was saved, after two overdoses in a month, when her mother and brother had her committed to a hospital. Now, a year and a half after entering Crossroads, she is a sponsor to other women and to inmates at the county jail.

Gilbert, with 450 residents, is not exactly a haven from pilling. Its nickname is Pillbert. The former executive director of Crossroads was forced to quit when she confessed that she herself was in active addiction.  Her husband, a church pastor, was fired from the church after he was spotted at a methadone clinic, receiving treatment for his pill addiction.

But the women at Crossroads tend to come from other parts of the county, or outside it altogether. For them, Gilbert is safer than returning to their own towns.

Christine said she thinks Gilbert will be a great place to raise her son, now 3 years old. She is hoping to get him back from her sister in Columbus within a year.  “Of course,” she said, “nowhere is completely safe.”

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Evelyn Nieves, former staff writer and columnist for the New York Times, is working on a book.

Recovery’s new poster boy

Bill Clegg's first addiction memoir shocked readers. We talk to him about his follow-up -- and his newfound fame

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Recovery's new poster boyBill Clegg (Credit: Brigitte Lacombe/Little, Brown & Co.)

Two years ago, Bill Clegg’s first memoir dropped like a bombshell on the New York media world. “Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man” chronicled the handsome and hugely successful book agent’s descent into a harrowing crack addiction that cost him his career, his boyfriend and his savings — and left him broke and in rehab. In one harrowing part of the book (excerpted in New York magazine) Clegg decides to blow off a first-class flight to Berlin after a week without sleep for a crack binge and sex with the cabbie driving him to his airport hotel. Staring at his pile of drugs, he wrote, “I wonder if somewhere in that pile is the crumb that will bring on a heart attack or stroke or seizure. The cardiac event that will deliver all this to an abrupt and welcome halt.”

In the years since the events of the first book, Clegg has rebuilt his career as an agent and become one of the best-known faces of addiction recovery. (He is also the rumored muse for “Left-handed,” a recent book of poetry by Jonathan Galassi, and the supposed inspiration for one of the lead characters in “Keep the Lights On,” Ira Sachs’ well-reviewed new film about a troubled gay relationship).

Now Clegg has written a follow-up, “Ninety Days,” a tumultuous chronicle of his early sobriety. The book begins with Clegg’s release from rehab and follows him as he struggles to keep clean for 90 days, a milestone for those in recovery. Over the following weeks, he tries to rebuild his shattered life — befriending other recovering addicts, searching for a new apartment and shuttling from meeting to meeting — but before long, he is once again drinking, smoking crack and having anonymous drug-fueled sex. Thus begins a dramatic series of relapses.

The book, which is written in straightforward, readable prose, is an often-vivid testament to the difficulties of overcoming addiction and the value of companionship. Despite occasional moments of cattiness (Clegg can be ungenerous in his description of other meeting attendees), Clegg comes across as a deeply troubled but a perceptive and sympathetic man, learning lessons about addiction in some very difficult ways.

Salon spoke to Clegg over the phone from Manhattan about the fallout from his first book, the unique appeal of recovery memoirs and why he won’t be writing another book.

It’s been a long time since the events of this book happened, and now you’re doing interviews and publicity about them. Does it feel strange to be rehashing all this stuff?

I wouldn’t say it’s strange, because one of the ways I’ve stayed sober is to stay very close to the things that happened, both when I was using and also in early recovery. I can’t talk enough about those early days of getting sober, because it’s the things I did and the lessons I learned — and the things suggested to me in those early days — that keep me sober today. The more comfortable I get and the more I forget it, the more vulnerable I am to relapse. And it’s pretty simple. Those experiences in those first 90 days are ones I never want to get away from and never want to forget.

Your first book was about your descent into drug addiction and alcoholism. This book is about your recovery. Why did you write it?

It came from a sense of not being finished when I completed the writing of “Portrait of an Addict.” During the three years it took to write that, I felt tethered to this live thing that needed my care and attention. I had this expectation that when I was done I would feel severed from that and I didn’t. So I just kind of didn’t stop writing. But I don’t feel connected to it, or any writing, at this point. I feel completely done.

In what sense?

Finishing this book, the process definitely stopped. I was reading the audio book a couple weeks ago and I hadn’t seen the text in a while. Reading from beginning to end, I almost couldn’t identify with the person who wrote the book. I identified with the person who lived the experiences, but I couldn’t really identify with somebody who would sit for six hours at a time and see that [book] to completion. I just don’t have it in me right now; it’s beyond my imagination that I’d be able to write anything longer than an email. Which is a relief, let me tell you. These books just sort of bullied their way into existence. I have a pretty busy day job as an agent, so I’m kind of amazed that they exist, these things.

What do you think is the overall message of this book?

I thought that once I got out of rehab that if I just stayed away from drugs and alcohol and followed a few simple suggestions there would be a clean narrative of getting sober, that there’d be a before and after that would be clearly defined. And that process for me was a lot messier than that. So if there’s a message in there, it’s that the only way that, in my experience, I’ve gotten sober and seen other people get sober is by asking for help and getting involved deeply in a community of addicts and alcoholics in recovery.

The first book was such a huge success. How did you deal with the sudden fame that came with it? The book included some pretty shocking scenes.

I guess I dealt with that in the same way I dealt with every difficult or wonderful thing, which is one day at a time. If I step back and regard any aspect of my life, whether that be my relationship with my family, or my job, or that publication, or this one, I will probably get overwhelmed and driven to my knees in exhaustion and despair. I was busy at that time doing my job so I just did everything that I always do but maybe with a little bit more desperation. I didn’t stop and look around and try and make meaning of any of it. I just kind of showed up to what I needed to show up to — whether it was an interview or working on the copy-edited manuscripts or whatever — and then moved on to the things that crowd my life.

Do you think your disclosures from “Portrait of an Addict” have changed the way people interact with you?

Because my collapse and the revelations of my alcoholism and drug addiction were so known to people in the book publishing world, it sort of mediated or affected every interaction I had professionally when I came back to work, whether that was with prospective new clients or colleagues. I think because that history was informing so many of my interactions and relationships, I got used to it as a kind of third person in the room. In terms of people outside the sphere of book publishing, it was challenging. I’m a self-conscious person by nature, and there were certainly uncomfortable moments.

Is there one big moment is “Ninety Days” that stands out to you as being particularly meaningful?

When I look back and try and locate some moment where a great shift occurred, it was the feeling [at one point during the recovery period covered in the book] when I was walking toward a place where I did drugs all the time. I was walking towards the door and thought of Polly (this woman I got sober with who is still very close to me) who was not sober at the time. She was, at that point in her recovery, pretty dire — like life or death. I felt like if I went in and got high and went down that rabbit hole, she might show up to a meeting and find out that I had relapsed and that that would keep her out of there.

My involvement in her recovery and connection to her was the thing that stopped me from walking through that door. Somehow the pull of my feeling of usefulness and responsibility to Polly was greater than my desire to use. That was the first time anything stood between me and a drink or a drug. And I turned around and walked away. Very soon after that, the obsession to use and to drink lifted, which was something that hadn’t happened in all of the time that I had tried to get sober.

To me that reminds me how important it is to stay connected to other people in recovery. To me recovery is sort of moving from the first-person singular to the first-person plural. For me as an addict, I can get very consumed with my own anxieties and worries and struggles and ambitions. And if I get too wrapped up in those thing and lift away from my usefulness to other addicts, I’m most vulnerable to relapsing.

In the book, you enter a lot of spaces in which people are meant to be anonymous. There must have been tension between describing the people and wanting to preserve their privacy.

I felt very comfortable talking about my experience getting sober without naming the program of recovery that I’m involved in. And in the instances where there are people in the program that I got sober with and who are still in my life, I spoke to them about the fact that I was going to describe our experience and went to lengths to protect their anonymity and their privacy and followed their lead in terms of what they were comfortable with and what they weren’t. The main point is to transcribe my struggle to get a toehold in sobriety and maintain it. I didn’t feel that the focus of the book is on anyone else’s recovery necessarily, outside a handful of relationships that I had and still have.

One person in the book about whom this question arises is the character of Asa, whom you describe extensively as he helps you during your early sobriety. I’m assuming you weren’t able to get his permission to write about him.

I didn’t think so. He was, he made it clear at a certain point that he didn’t want to have any contact with me because he was no longer sober. But I’m very happy to report that he’s come back into recovery and is sober. He knows that he is in the book, and that he is well masked. I went to great lengths to protect his privacy.

You’ve been the rumored “muse” of a few projects that have gotten coverage in the media in the last few months. How does it feel to be the subject of that kind of attention?

I don’t really have anything to say about that.

One of those projects, the film “Keep the Lights On,” recently got a distribution deal. Did you have any participation in that?

I guess I can’t really speak to any books or films that any other people wrote that I may or may not be connected to by speculation in magazines and elsewhere. It’s not my place.

Fair enough. Going back to your book, the most famous recovery memoir in recent years is the controversial “A Million Little Pieces,” by James Frey, which you allude to in the book. Did other recovery memoirs affect your way of thinking about this book?

You know I haven’t read, probably very consciously, other books of addicts and recovery — but particularly in the last seven years, when I’ve been involved in working on these two books. People I got sober with would use this phrase, “compare and despair.” I probably internalized that while getting sober and set out not to read other books about addiction and recovery when I was writing these. I would probably think they were better writers than me, or be affected by it so I just felt like in the writing of these books, I just had to follow my own instincts.

What do you think is the appeal of the addiction and recovery memoir for readers?

I think there are a lot of alcoholics and addicts in this world. And they touch a lot of people. It’s a disease that cuts through all class and age and race, and affects many, many people. I certainly myself felt very lost when I was first trying to get sober, and other people in my life felt incredibly lost. Both experiences are very isolating, so when reading an account of somebody getting sober — or in the case of David Sheff’s book “Beautiful Boy,” reading an account of a parent whose kid is an addict — I think identification is a powerful thing. It makes the struggle feel less singular, and it shows at least one particular path which one may choose to take or not take in any of those circumstances, whether you’re an addict yourself, or the father of an addict, or the daughter or son. I think people look to books to find answers, separate from addiction and alcoholism, they look to stories to illuminate their lives more clearly, to more clearly find their way.

I think there’s also the appeal of witnessing someone’s downfall and redemption.

Perhaps. People tend to make mistakes, and the reading of how someone may prevail against those mistakes may be encouraging to some people. If it is, that’s one use of those books.

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Thomas Rogers

Thomas Rogers is Salon's Arts Editor.

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