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2008 Elections

Wednesday, Aug 13, 2008 10:09 AM UTC2008-08-13T10:09:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Bring back community baths

If we all got together naked in a steamy room and got sploshed with hot water and scrubbed down hard, we would be more civil people.

Bring back community baths

People accuse us old liberals of smarmy self-righteousness and God knows they are right. Four of us had lunch the other day and we agreed before we sat down: no politics. We know what we’re going to say so why say it? Self-righteousness is a good old American vice, and we have it, and though preferable to cruelty and cynicism and deliberate dumbheadedness, nonetheless remind yourself: You are not so different from the others.

So when we got onto politics halfway through my tuna sandwich, I said a deliberate unself-righteous thing: “I don’t think any of us believe what we say we believe. It’s just our neurons responding to a phrase or something, a learned response that makes us feel warm for some reason that goes back to childhood. And in the end it doesn’t matter. We’re motes of dust on a tiny insignificant planet spinning around in a solar system so vast our minds can’t comprehend it, and one day the planet will implode and all will be lost — Beethoven, Plato, Monet, the Minnesota Twins — and it won’t make any difference to the cosmos whatsoever, so why should we care who wins the election in November?”

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Garrison Keillor is the author of the Lake Wobegon novel "Liberty" (Viking) and the creator and host of the nationally syndicated radio show "A Prairie Home Companion," broadcast on more than 500 public radio stations nationwide. For more columns by Keillor, visit his column archive.  More Garrison Keillor

Monday, Dec 19, 2011 10:10 PM UTC2011-12-19T22:10:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Baseless Condi Rice speculation making a comeback

Updated: To celebrate its return, a brief history of this variety of pundit fantasy writing

Condoleezza Rice

Condoleezza Rice  (Credit: Reuters)

[UPDATED BELOW] Joseph Curl, former White House correspondent for the Washington Times, is bringing me back to the good old days of 2006 in his latest opinion column for the conservative paper. It’s a breathless report that Condoleezza Rice will seek the vice presidency, and it’s a classic of the genre.

Any amateur can speculate that Chris Christie will enter the presidential race, or posit a Mike Bloomberg third-party run, or imagine Hillary Clinton launching a primary challenge against Barack Obama. After all, those three have actually won elections and expressed political ambitions. It takes a real pro to decide to build buzz around someone who not only hasn’t ever run for anything, but who’s never expressed a desire to run for anything.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon. Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene  More Alex Pareene

Monday, Oct 3, 2011 7:25 PM UTC2011-10-03T19:25:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Breitbart shock: Obama was in same place at same time as New Black Panthers

Right-wingers once again try to connect the president to a fringe group of laughable conservative boogeymen

Members of the New Black Panther Party, including, Divine Allah, left, arrive for funeral services for 13-year-old shooting victim, Tamrah Leonard, at the Friendship Baptist Church in Trenton, N.J., Saturday, June 13, 2009.

Members of the New Black Panther Party, including, Divine Allah, left, arrive for funeral services for 13-year-old shooting victim, Tamrah Leonard, at the Friendship Baptist Church in Trenton, N.J., Saturday, June 13, 2009.  (Credit: AP/Mike Derer)

Andrew Breitbart’s loud, dumb BigGovernment site has a loud, dumb story about how Barack Obama “appeared and marched with the New Black Panther Party in 2007.” The occasion was the 42nd anniversary of the march from Selma, Alabama, and in addition to Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Al Sharpton were also there, along with dozens of civil rights era luminaries and thousands of other people because it was a massive annual celebration and not actually an Obama campaign event.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon. Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene  More Alex Pareene

Thursday, Sep 15, 2011 7:55 PM UTC2011-09-15T19:55:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Palins give free publicity to book bashing Palins

Joe McGinniss' "The Rogue" gets a big marketing boost from its subject's classic (and predictable) overreaction

Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin

Here, according to the National Enquirer, are the shocking revelations in Joe McGinniss’ new book about Sarah Palin, “The Rogue”:

  • She has done drugs.
  • She had sex with a basketball player before she married Todd.
  • She is mean and petty.
  • She is a bad mother.
  • She had an affair after she married Todd.

There is also, obviously, some stuff about Trig’s birth, but I have not yet read the book, so I couldn’t tell you how far down the rabbit hole that goes.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon. Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene  More Alex Pareene

Thursday, Aug 25, 2011 8:15 PM UTC2011-08-25T20:15:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Will “Joe the Plumber” run for Congress?

And if so, how many minutes will it take for him to say something embarrassing to a reporter? Ten?

Will

“Joe the Plumber,” a man named Sam who is not a plumber, may run for Congress. Joe, a briefly famous desperate attempt by the John McCain campaign to paint Barack Obama as an enemy of the working man, is mulling a run against Rep. Marcy Kaptur, D-Ohio, who’s been in the House since 1983. Joe told Yahoo’s “The Ticket” his thoughts on the potential campaign:

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon. Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene  More Alex Pareene

Friday, Aug 19, 2011 9:15 PM UTC2011-08-19T21:15:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Sheriff Joe: Birther?

Arizona's "toughest" lawman tells some kooks that he'll investigate the president's birth certificate

Joe Arpaio

Joe Arpaio

Sheriff Joe Arpaio might be a birther, now. A quasi-birther, at least. WorldNetDaily “broke” the “news” that Arizona’s most civil rights-disregarding lawman “has agreed to examine evidence challenging the validity of Barack Obama’s purported long-form birth certificate in a determination of the president’s eligibility for the 2012 election ballot.” Which certainly sounds like a very good use of the resources of the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, right? There is even a picture of Arpaio with Jerome Corsi, author of “Where’s the Birth Certificate,” a book whose title question was answered twice before publication:

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon. Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene  More Alex Pareene

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