2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Now, this is supremely uncomfortable. It’s kind of like going to the family reunion and running into your dirty uncle, the one who reeks of booze, insists on planting a wet kiss on your cheek and can’t stop talking — to anyone who will listen — about how you’ve “bloomed.” Only, in this case, it’s exponentially worse: You’re a vice-presidential hopeful meeting with world leaders before a gaggle of journos, and the dirty uncle is the president of Pakistan. If you think you can take it, watch the video of Palin’s Wednesday meeting with Asif Ali Zardari or jump to the blow-by-blow below.
As they exaggeratedly shake hands, Palin says, “I am honored to meet you.” Zardari offers, “You are even more gorgeous in life than you are on the television.” Palin laughs graciously: “You are so nice. Thank you.” They release their hands, but Zardari is clearly on a roll at this point and he turns to the photogs: “Now I know why the whole of America is crazy about you!” Palin’s smile tightens and she waves off the comment, but — sigh of relief — at least this 13 seconds of supremely awkward hand-holding with a leering world leader is over. Except, an aide asks for them to shake hands, again! Then Zardari half-kids, “If he’s insisting, I might hug.”
For once, I’m feeling Palin pains for her and not because of her.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.