Don’t worry. I haven’t gotten drunk at a party, run off to Florida with a group of llama trainers, sobered up, questioned whether I’d done the right thing, then started up a torrid affair with Valentina the llama rider that, I don’t care what anyone says, never involved any of the llamas.

Again, I mean.

I’m just on vacation. There’s a notice to that effect on the Salon cover, but I hadn’t realized till now — listen, that Valentina’s a handful! — that it doesn’t appear on this page. So, here it is. I’m on vacation. Having a wonderful time. The llamas say hello.

Thanks to the hordes of worried readers — OK, one reader — who checked up on me. I’ll be back with the NFL Week 11 preview Friday.