A disturbing way to ruin a perfectly good dessert.
One of my favorite things about the holiday season is that my mother always spends several weeks in the kitchen making cookies, which she then exchanges with friends for even more cookies. It’s all very traditional and wholesome, I gain a few pounds, and the world is a generally happy place. Who doesn’t love cookies?
Well, maybe the people who designed fetus cookie cutters. Yes, for the low price of $9.99 you could be the proud owner of cookie cutters shaped like little fetuses. My initial response to the cookie cutters was quite simply, Really? I found them disturbing, which I then realized meant that, to me, a fetus signifies abortion, rather than a stage of life, which disturbed me even more. Maybe I have no sense of humor? Or am I a bad person for not being totally outraged? I decided to ask a few of my clever friends for their gut reactions. As I suspected, the responses ranged from “Can you use that as a Jell-o mold?” to “That’s terrible; I’m laughing, of course” to “Vaguely nauseated.” Then I realized that maybe the best use for fetus cookie cutters would be as a personality test.
You could bring a fetus cookie on a first date, and it would not only break the ice (or very quickly bring the date to an end) but also lend third-date-level insight into your dining partner. You could use a fetus cookie to conduct a sociological experiment. Does the reaction to said cookie change depending on locale? Are they funny at a baby shower, or even more disturbing? Do they fare better at a holiday party, a housewarming or a birthday party? Is there a correlation between age and level of outrage? Do high school kids think they’re write-a-letter-to-someone offensive, while college kids think they are the funniest shit they’ve ever seen? Are people with kids more or less likely to be upset than people without kids? If you never want children, are these just totally hilarious or unbelievably stupid?
So many questions. I have no desire to either eat or bake a fetus cookie, but I will at least cede the point that they are certainly more interesting than the typical heart, snowflake or cuddly animal cookie fare. If, for some reason, you need more fetus cookies (or simply want to be convinced that these are intended to be totally appalling), you can watch this video of a woman baking them, while a song about fetus cookies plays to the tune of “Edelweiss.” Fair warning, though: About the time that she bites off the cookie legs, it starts to feel like one of those twisted fairy tales that people don’t read to their children anymore.
More Related Stories
- How I ended up in a pyramid scheme
- My bipolar partner beat me
- Teenagers care more about online privacy than you think
- Radio host tweets rape joke, blames journalists for reporting on it
- El Salvador court delays ruling on abortion case while woman's life hangs in the balance
- Kicked out of the mall -- for an anti-cancer hat
- Why do men pretend to be women online?
- Pa. governor "can't find" any Latinos to work in his administration
- Conservative group blames military sexual assault on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" repeal
- Is Pittsburgh the next Portland?
- Tornado survivor to Wolf Blitzer: Sorry, I'm an atheist. I don't have to thank the Lord
- Donald Rumsfeld worried that marriage equality will lead to polygamy
- San Francisco Giant Jeremy Affeldt apologizes for homophobic past
- Wall Street firm's "Golden Pitchbook" is totally sexist, full of lies
- Federal court strikes down Arizona abortion ban
- I'm not achieving my dreams!
- The most popular Tumblr porn
- Slave descendants seek equal rights from Cherokee Nation
- Snapchat is secretly storing your photos
- Peace Corps to allow gay couples to volunteer together
- Facebook's hate speech problem
Featured Slide Shows
The week in 10 picsclose X
- 1 of 11
Lisa Montgomery embraces her nephew Thursday after a tornado tore apart her home in Cleburne, Texas. The twister killed six people and destroyed entire swaths of the North Texas town.
Credit: AP/LM Otero
Jack McMahon, the defense attorney for abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell, speaks outside the Criminal Justice Center in Philadelphia Tuesday. His client was convicted of killing three babies in his clinic, and will serve multiple life sentences.
Credit: AP/Matt Rourke
A photo taken Monday captures Vice President Joe Biden's response to a Milwaukee second-grader's innovative proposal to end America's epidemic of gun violence. This guy!
Credit: AP/Jenny Aicher
Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., flanked by a grouper-eyed Michele Bachmann, addresses the IRS' admission that it targeted Tea Party groups in advance of the 2012 election. In an op-ed for CNN Thursday, the Kentucky senator slammed the president for his faux outrage.
Credit: AP/Molly Riley
Ousted IRS chief Steven Miller is sworn in on Capitol Hill Friday. Miller testified before the House Ways and Means Committee on the extra scrutiny the agency gave conservative groups applying for tax-exempt status.
Credit: AP/J. Scott Applewhite
Attorney General Eric Holder pauses as he testifies on Capitol Hill before the House Judiciary Committee Wednesday. Holder is under fire, among other things, for the Justice Department's gathering of phone records at the Associated Press.
Credit: AP/Carolyn Kaster
O.J. Simpson sits during an evidentiary hearing at Clark County District Court in Las Vegas, Nev., Thursday. Simpson, who is currently serving a nine-to-33-year sentence in state prison for armed robbery and kidnapping, is using a writ of habeas corpus to seek a new trial.
Credit: AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal/Jeff Scheid
Major Tom to ground control: On Sunday astronaut Chris Hadfield recorded the first music video from space, a cover of David Bowie's "Space Oddity."
Credit: AP/NASA/Chris Hadfield
When it rains it pours. President Barack Obama speaks during a news conference Thursday with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, inexplicably inspiring an #umbrellagate Twitter meme.
Credit: AP/Jacquelyn Martin
A smoke plume rises high above a road block at the intersection of County A and Ross Road east of Solon Springs, Wis., Tuesday. No injuries were reported, but the the wildfire caused evacuations across northwestern Wisconsin.
Credit: AP/The Duluth News-Tribune/Clint Austin
Recent Slide Shows
- 1 of 11