Like little stars.
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has offered, in his own words, “a compliment to pretty Italian girls, of which there are millions.” Aw, that’s nice. What was the compliment? In response to a proposal to increase the military presence on city streets following a series of highly publicized rapes in Rome, Berlusconi said, “We can’t think of deploying a large force. We would have to send as many soldiers as there are beautiful girls. And I don’t think we would manage.”
Wow, I’d hate to see Berlusconi’s idea of an insult to women. Presumably, that would be something even more offensive than suggesting that A) only “beautiful girls” are potential victims of sexual assault, because B) rape is the natural consequence of lust, which means that C) rape is a compliment if you think about it, ladies! Oh yeah, and D) women — the hot ones, at least — will never be safe to walk the streets of their hometowns, as long as there are fewer soldiers than heterosexual civilian males. (Also, soldiers never commit rape, if you follow this line of reasoning.) But hey, what are you gals so pissy about? He said millions of Italian women are beautiful! You want flowers now, too?
And hey, what are you guys so pissy about? Sure, he just implied that you’re all essentially beasts who can hardly be expected to keep a lid on your irresistible desire to commit violent crime, but come on, fellas! What red-blooded male doesn’t want to force himself on a woman who’s saying no? Amirite?
Wait, you’re all still pissy? Oh, OK, well you’ve obviously failed to appreciate that it was just a joke. “I believe that on every occasion it is always useful to use a light approach and a sense of humor,” Berlusconi says in his defense. And, you know, he’s got a point there. Making a decision about whether to deploy troops to your own cities because violent crime has gotten out of hand is tough work; such convos go down way better with a few chuckles. About how it’s impossible to keep women from being raped without assigning each one a military escort. Because civilian men are pretty much all potential rapists. Get it? Haha? Anyone?
Kate Harding is the co-author of "Lessons From the Fatosphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce With Your Body" and has been a regular contributor to Salon's Broadsheet.More Kate Harding.
Like little stars.
World's best pie apple. Essential for Tarte Tatin. Has five prominent ribs.
So pretty. So early. So ephemeral. Tastes like strawberry candy (slightly).
My personal fave. Ultra-crisp. Graham cracker flavor. Should be famous. Isn't.
High flavored with notes of blood orange and allspice. Very rare.
Jefferson's favorite. The best all-purpose American apple.
New Hampshire's native son has a grizzled appearance and a strangely addictive curry flavor. Very, very rare.
Makes the best hard cider in America. Soon to be famous.
Freak seedling found in an Oregon field in the '60s has pink flesh and a fragrant strawberry snap. Makes a killer rose cider.
Ben Franklin's favorite. Queen Victoria's favorite. Only apple native to NYC.
Really does taste like pineapple.