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Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 7:05 AM UTC2009-10-11T07:05:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Make “Nip/Tuck” a comedy!

Drop the soap! These abusive but self-doubting lotharios are only getting funnier with age

Julian McMahon and Dylan Walsh from F/X's "Nip/Tuck."

Julian McMahon and Dylan Walsh from F/X's "Nip/Tuck."

Am I good enough? Pathetic though it may be, this is the haunting question of adulthood. Shouldn’t I be a better parent? Shouldn’t I be more ambitious? Shouldn’t I contribute more meaningfully to society? Shouldn’t my house be a lot cleaner? Shouldn’t I look a lot better? And, most important: How much caffeine will I have to ingest to achieve all of the above?

All of this questioning can make me long for the sociopathic days of my youth, when I cast aside notions of my own responsibilities in favor of questions like: What’s his problem? What’s her point? Why isn’t he in love with me, when I’m obviously delightful? Am I drunker than everyone else here?

Strangely, I still wake up feeling confused and exhausted just as often.

Am I good enough? Obviously not. Where’s the coffee?

Just one word: Plastics

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Heather Havrilesky is Salon's TV critic and author of the rabbit blog. Her memoir, "Disaster Preparedness," published in 2010.   More Heather Havrilesky

Thursday, Dec 15, 2011 3:26 AM UTC2011-12-15T03:26:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Where can “American Horror Story” go from here?

In a creepy, nasty, psychedelic, super-bitchy episode, FX's horror opus let its ghosts take center stage

Vivien Harmon (Connie Britton) prepares for a big event on "American Horror Story."

Vivien Harmon (Connie Britton) prepares for a big event on "American Horror Story."  (Credit: FX)

The following article contains spoilers for "American Horror Story" season one, episode 11, "Birth." Read at your own risk.

“Just because we’re dead doesn’t mean we don’t have wants … desires,” said Tate, the pouty, bratty, forever-teenage rubber-suit-wearing, mom-of-the-house raping, suicide pact-making … sorry, I feel like there should be about 12 more adjectives in there, because the ghostly Tate, like most of the characters on FX’s aggressively lurid “American Horror Story,” requires them. But let’s stay focused on Tate’s statement, because it’s key. Yes, of course! He and the other ghosts have wants … desires. And one of the many amazing things about the show is how, over the past few episodes, it has subtly moved the ghosts to the center of the narrative, to the point where the ever-dwindling number of living characters have started to seem like the supporting cast on a show that they were ostensibly the stars of. (Of course, now that they’re all dropping like flies — even money on Constance to bite the dust by the end of season two — they get to be at the center of the story again.)

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Thursday, Dec 8, 2011 1:00 PM UTC2011-12-08T13:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

The controlled madness of “American Horror Story”

Between Jessica Lange's southern Gothic hamminess and the ever-growing roster of ghosts, this is one loopy show

Dylan McDermott wrestles with "The Rubber Man" on "American Horror Story"

Dylan McDermott wrestles with "The Rubber Man" on "American Horror Story"

The following article contains spoilers for "American Horror Story" season one, episode 10, "Smoldering Children." Read at your own risk.

“Ladies and gentlemen … the ham.”

This may be the line that Jessica Lange was born to say, in the role she was born to play, on a TV show perfectly suited to her fluttery intensity. Her character Constance delivered it over a tight shot of a ham festooned with moist pineapple slices being thrust into the camera’s lens, as if the show were being broadcast in 3-D. It was a perfect kick-off to “Smoldering Children,” the 10th episode of the first season of “American Horror Story.”

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Wednesday, Dec 7, 2011 2:49 PM UTC2011-12-07T14:49:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

“Sons of Anarchy” goes wonderfully crazy

The fourth-season finale piles on ludicrous plot twists, but ultimately satisfies

Jax (Charlie Hunnam) confronts his wicked stepfather Clay Morrow (Ron Perlman) on the fourth season finale of "Sons of Anarchy."

Jax (Charlie Hunnam) confronts his wicked stepfather Clay Morrow (Ron Perlman) on the fourth season finale of "Sons of Anarchy." (Credit: FX)

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My old friend David Dixon coined a phrase that popped into my head several times during the fourth-season finale of “Sons of Anarchy” — maximum ludicrosity. It means just what you think it means: an already ludicrous story piles on twists so blazingly nutty that it hits a giddy new peak and becomes, in its way, sublime. This episode, which was written by series creator Kurt Sutter and Chris Collins and directed by Sutter, hit that point the second that the combined federal-local bust of the Sons of Anarchy, the Irish Kings and the Gallindo Cartel was preceded by two supposed members of the latter clan flashing CIA badges at assistant U.S. District Attorney Lincoln Potter. At first I thought it was a scam and wondered why Linc didn’t tell them to take their thumbs off the ID photos on those “real” badges. But no: It turns out they were spooks all along!

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Wednesday, Nov 23, 2011 12:18 PM UTC2011-11-23T12:18:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

“Sons of Anarchy”: What happens next, daddy?

Kurt Sutter's biker series practices the most basic form of storytelling with unusual skill

Kurt Sutter (L) and Ray McKinnon on "Sons of Anarchy."

Kurt Sutter (L) and Ray McKinnon on "Sons of Anarchy."

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The following recap of "Sons of Anarchy" season four, episode 12 contains spoilers. Read at your own risk.

When Charles Dickens was at the peak of his popularity, Americans used to wait on East Coast docks for the latest chapters of his serialized novels to arrive. TV dramas are our version of that. The best have that mix of shamelessness and sophistication that Dickens refined into art — or at the very least, artful melodrama — and the FX biker drama “Sons of Anarchy” is right up there in the pantheon. Its cliffhanger episode endings are among the most addictive I’ve seen, and last night offered a great example: a three-way standoff between the increasingly evil gang boss Clay Morrow (Ron Perlman), his disaffected lieutenant Jax (Charlie Hunnam) and the vengeful Opie (Ryan Hurst), who discovered his dad’s reeking body and was informed that Clay secretly killed him. Everything about the standoff was utterly shameless: the race-to-the-finish-line lead-up; Opie’s tearful speech; Opie leveling his gun at Clay at the precise moment when Jax burst in and screamed at him to drop it; the shot of Clay’s body slamming against a wall; Jax’s horrified close-up. Cut to black, roll credits. Is he dead? Was he wearing a bulletproof vest?

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Tuesday, Jan 25, 2011 3:35 PM UTC2011-01-25T15:35:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

“Lights Out” throws a knockout punch

Tonight's stunning episode of FX's "Lights Out" should not be missed (not even if Obama's SOTU goes over)

LIGHTS OUT: Holt McCallany in LIGHTS OUT premiering Tuesday, Jan. 11 on FX. CR: Frank Ockenfels III / FX.

LIGHTS OUT: Holt McCallany in LIGHTS OUT premiering Tuesday, Jan. 11 on FX. CR: Frank Ockenfels III / FX.

As soon as possible, every ambitious TV series must produce what I call a “Get on the Train” episode — an episode that demonstrates mastery not just of the medium itself, but the show’s dramatic raw material: its characters, story and themes. An installment that confirms beyond a doubt that the people who make the show know what they’re doing and what they’re trying to say, and can put it all across with discipline and panache. When you’ve seen an episode like this, you decide to get on the train and see where it takes you.  

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