2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
It’s nice of the State Department to provide the public with transcripts of all the public remarks made by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. It’d be even better if the transcripts gave any idea of what Clinton actually said.
That wasn’t the case with one that State released earlier this week, of comments Clinton made at the Amsterdam News Educational Fund’s 100th Anniversary Gala. And the result ended up — unintentionally, no doubt — being pretty funny.
Since the time when an alert reader sent me the transcript a couple days ago, someone at State evidently had the good sense to pull it down from the department’s Web site. But through the magic of LexisNexis and Google’s cache, it lives on. Here it is, unedited and in full:
Nick, thank you so much. Thank you (inaudible) to Michelle (ph) and everyone who could be gathered at this wonderful event. (Inaudible) I’m just happy to (inaudible). (Applause.) Being with so many friends, with so many people, (inaudible) so grateful. And this is why I am so grateful. I am delighted to have you with us (inaudible) in celebrating the Amsterdam News and helping it to raise money for digitizing its records. This is one of the great archives (inaudible). (Applause.)
(Inaudible) here as well. Susan and Bill Tataum, (inaudible) all these wonderful (inaudible) and in their home, visiting Bill (inaudible) and speak with him. And like everyone here tonight who (inaudible), I was a recipient of all the (inaudible) and I feel better for it. I also know (inaudible).
(Inaudible) one of the most thoughtful, provocative, (inaudible) experiences that I ever had. (Inaudible) and I will always remember Bill’s (inaudible) and energy (inaudible). I also want to just say I think I (inaudible) with a lot of my friends (inaudible) and especially (inaudible). (Applause.)
(Inaudible) be there for you when (inaudible) that you so well deserve because (inaudible). (Applause.) (Inaudible) to raise money for a worthy cause and it’s a night of (inaudible) of American history. (Inaudible) and it’s especially exciting to be here to celebrate the 100th anniversary. Now, recently in Russia where journalists are harassed and (inaudible), in China where bloggers and internet (inaudible) face evermore (inaudible) censorship. And I’ve met with writers who’ve been (inaudible). They (inaudible) sit up and take notice and change their ways forever. (Inaudible) proud.
Thanks (inaudible). (Applause.)
Alex Koppelman is a staff writer for Salon.More Alex Koppelman.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.