2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
People try to make some very, very silly things into issues in politics. Like the timing of President Obama’s speech about Afghanistan on Tuesday night, which happened to coincide with — and thus preempt — showings of “A Charlie Brown Christmas Special.”
In a saner world, this would have been a total non-story. (Among the numerous reasons that this is a total non-story: Assuming there is still someone living in the U.S. who hasn’t seen the special, it will be replayed. Many, many times. Every year.) But people like Matt Drudge picked it up and ran with it anyway, and now we can see the results.
The Memphis Commercial Appeal reports that Russell Wiseman, the mayor of Arlington, Tenn., took to his Facebook page to weigh in, and to give his theory for why Obama timed the speech as he did. From Wiseman’s post:
Ok, so, this is total crap, we sit the kids down to watch “The Charlie Brown Christmas Special” and our muslim president is there, what a load…..try to convince me that wasn’t done on purpose. Ask the man if he believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he will give you a 10 minute disertation about it….w…hen the answer should simply be “yes”
Wiseman went on to add such gems as, “you obama people need to move to a muslim country…oh wait, that’s America….pitiful” and, “you know, our forefathers had it written in the original Constitution that ONLY property owners could vote, if that has stayed in there, things would be different……..”
Contacted by the Commercial Appeal, Wiseman told the paper, “You guys are trying to make a mountain out of a molehill.”
Alex Koppelman is a staff writer for Salon.More Alex Koppelman.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.