Below, our beloved Sarah Haskins recaps the lessons in womanhood offered by advertisers in 2009, and explains how to “make yourself a better lady in 2010.” First step: “Stop asking dumb questions like, ‘Is Congress using us as a pawn in the healthcare debate?’ and start asking, ‘Are my boobs jealous of my butt?“
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness must have been talking about men, people. Watch and learn.
Sarah Haskins
In the throes of our ongoing laments about the dearth of women comedy writers working in entertainment, we’ve gratefully clung to Sarah Haskins. For the past two years, Haskins’s “Target Women” segments for Current.com’s “InfoMania” have skewered the delusional, frequently offensive way woman are portrayed in movies and advertising — and been a reliably stinging source of two and a half minutes of laughter in our angry little feminist lives. But now Haskins has signed off from Current to devote herself fulltime to screenwriting.
Upside: She’s writing a movie for Amy Poehler! She’s made a short parody of MILF culture called “DILFS!” We’re plotzing in anticipation! Downside: Our grief over losing “Target Women” is currently at the same pitch it was when they cancelled “Firefly.” (Which reminds us: GodDAMN you, Fox.)
But as we pour out a 40 for the woman who gave us the phrases “rape fables” and “dry hump heaven,” we thank Jezebel for getting Haskins to do a farewell interview, wherein she waxes wise on Sarah Palin, why we need more women in the comedy writing rooms and her desire to buy the Hoda and Kathie Lee shower curtain. It eases the pain somewhat to know we can still follow her on Twitter. And Sarah, if you’re looking for a comic collaborator, we understand Conan’s available.
Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams
“In the peaceful era we live in, it’s easy to forget that someone is always lurking outside, planning to rape you,” says Sarah Haskins in the latest Target Women video (below). This one skewers Broadview Security ads that educate women about how high-risk behavior — like hanging out in our houses and backyards with no men present — makes us sitting ducks, but a top-notch security system will offer the peace of mind that can only come with loud noises and calm-voiced dudes in a call center!
“You may call these commercials,” says Haskins, “But I like to call them rape fables.”
There was a time when every satire from Current TV’s Sarah Haskins found a quick and happy home on Broadsheet. We posted her “Target: Women” videos lampooning the dumbassery of women’s marketing so often, with such predictable, cooing fangirl fervor that we backed off entirely, and I for one, think that’s a damn shame. So I’m reverting back to our old ways by posting her latest video about “Lady Friends” — you know, those good-looking, high-spirited gals with whom you share all your secrets about cooking, shampoo and the complications of birth control while waiting on bottle service at high-end night clubs? Here, I’ll let Sarah explain:
Oh, this video brings back fond memories of Faberge shampoo’s “And they told two friends…” commercial. Remember this one? Gosh, imagine how many women would have had soft, luxurious Faberge hair in the 80s if they’d only known how to tweet.
Anyway, Haskins is also interviewed for this month’s Mother Jones, in which she talks about her ironic use of the word “ladies,” the marketing of Sarah Palin and why Maureen Dowd drives her nuts. And Jezebel points out some good news: Amy Poehler has been tapped to star in the movie Haskins co-scripted, “Lunch Lady” — now that’s a serious comedy sandwich. You know what? I’m telling all my well-heeled girlfriends about this, stat!
I trust that Sarah Haskins’ “Target Women” videos no longer need an introduction around here, since I can’t seem to stop posting them. Please enjoy the latest, on Botox, below. “Express yourself — by paralyzing small muscles in those problem areas!”
She had me at “It’s that ‘I have a master’s but then I got married’ look!” in the yogurt video I wrote about a few weeks ago. But when she stripped down to bike shorts and a sports bra to demonstrate her resemblance to a computer-fattened contestant on “Bulging Brides” (video below) she, um, had me even more. I am officially girl-crushing on Sarah Haskins something fierce.
Who is Sarah Haskins? Good question. Google doesn’t turn up much on the creator of “Target: Women” — a segment of the generally hilarious “InfoMania” show on Current TV — even though she has become the toast of the feminist blogosphere after just two outings. From the opening montage of cocktail glasses and tampons to Haskins’ perfectly timed and executed “WTF?” face, “Target: Women” satirizes vapid lady programming so brilliantly, every woman I know wishes “The Daily Show” would offer Haskins a job already. Even if we had no idea who she was a month ago and haven’t seen any of her work other than two three-minute videos. She’s that good! Private island good! Cute best man good! Who serves yogurt at their wedding good!
If you haven’t seen her latest, “Target Women: Wedding Shows,” check it out below. I’ll just be over here in my gray hoodie, watching the We channel and eating Activia while impatiently awaiting the next installment.
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