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Monday, Apr 5, 2010 11:01 AM UTC

Michelle “Bombshell” McGee: America’s Next Top Mistress

Jesse James' "other woman" joins a celebrity boxing match. Brace yourselves for her inevitable reality TV show

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Topics: Jesse James, Broadsheet, Pornography, Sandra Bullock, Sex, Sex Work, Tiger Woods, Love and Sex,

I’m going to have to scrub myself with bleach after writing this sentence, but here I go: Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, Jesse James’ alleged mistress, is set to referee a boxing match between Jon Gosselin’s ex-girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, and adult actress Gina Lynn, star of “Welcome To Boobstown.” (Scrubbing commences.) It’s quite the fight card: In one corner, we have a reality TV dad’s “other woman” and, in the other, we have a porn star — perhaps the most ubiquitous type of “other woman.” Of course, the only reasonable judge for such a match would be the most talked about “other woman” of … this week.

Speaking of, Radar reports that McGee returned to the stage at San Diego’s Pure Platinum strip club Friday night. She worked the pole and performed lap dances for $100 a pop. One of Radar’s intrepid video journalists procured some one-on-one time with the tabloid star and recorded the whole thing in the style of P.O.V. porn. Now all you folks at home can pretend Sandra Bullock’s husband’s mistress is crawling on your lap and humping your knee.

Either I’m having a bad case of the Mondays, or we’ve reached a cultural nadir. Only, it can’t be the latter because that would imply that it can’t get any worse, and we know that isn’t true. Somewhere, a television producer is drafting a list of every reality TV show to ever hit the air and brainstorming ways to insert infamous “other women.” I’m talking, “America’s Next Top Mistress,” “Dancing with the Mistresses,” “The Real Mistresses of Orange County,” “Big Brother’s Mistress,” “America’s Got Mistresses,” “The Millionaire Mistress Matchmaker,” “Mistress Swap,” “Extreme Makeover: Mistress Edition” — I’ll stop before my brain explodes.

What can I say, mistresses are having a moment. We can’t get enough, whether it’s receiving a vicarious lap dance or seeing them naked in the pages of Vanity Fair. It’s a way to put ourselves in the shoes of these rich and famous men, to imagine the power and opportunity — much like the typical lifestyle porn of celebrity tabloids helps us to fantasize about the shopping sprees, tropical getaways and V.I.P. access. I also suspect there’s a strong undercurrent of fear here, given how these women have proved to be the Achilles’ heel of larger-than-life men. I mean, the way these femmes fatale threw their lovers to the tabloids makes the female praying mantis’ post-coital behavior look rather decorous. This all makes for a potent combination of titillation and fear, and I’m afraid it’ll be a poison of choice for some time to come.

Tracy Clark-Flory

Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter and Facebook. More Tracy Clark-Flory.

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Gripping photos: The people of the Turkey protests (slideshow)

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  • The protests take on a festive element as police forces move out of the park and square. Wearing a gas mask, this young man dances to traditional Turkish music in front of Taksim Square’s Ataturk Monument.

  • In Gezi Park since March 31st, this protester, originally caught off-guard by the Government’s teargas and water cannons, went out and bought a Russian army mask from WWII, preparing for what was to come.

  • This rambunctious boy seems to be enjoying the chaos. After taking this picture he threw a stone at the already destroyed building in the background.

  • Forming a line, the police face off directly with protesters in Taksim Square. After a while, they retreated and there was a general cheer – a back-and-forth dance that has been common since the beginning of this protest.

  • An elderly woman in Gezi Park reads the news. The tent community occupying the park was violently destroyed on June 16th.

  • Many different groups had set up booths to promote their cause in Taksim Square and Gezi Park. Standing in front of one, this man waves his flag while posing with conviction.

  • Many home-remedies are used to minimize the effects of tear gas. This woman has put a milky solution on her face, removing her mask after the tear gas dissipated. Before sunrise, the police came again for another round of teargasing.

  • People capitalize on the uprising -- selling flags, beer, gas masks, sky lanterns and spray paint to name just a few of the popular items.

  • On Monday morning, June 11, the police execute a strong offensive. Many plain-clothed police officers, like the ones seen here, clash with protesters in the side streets away from the main stand-off in Taksim.

  • The authorities seem to be most aggressive in the night, pushing protesters away from the square and park. After being teargassed this young woman catches her breath with other protesters on Siraselviler Street.

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