Like little stars.
The pantsapocalypse is upon us. It has been on its way for some time, thanks to the leggings-as-pants era and Lady Gaga’s personal anti-pants vendetta. Throughout their humble, leg-covering lives, pants have been subjected to fashion whims and unprovoked attacks, tailored into shapes that flatter exactly no one. And now, the Wall Street Journal is reporting the latest in a series of pants-related indignities: the growing popularity of leather shorts or “the rise of modern lederhosen.”
Shorts are for roaming unfettered on the beach in summer or feeling the warmth of the spring sunshine on your calves. They are, clearly, hot weather items. Wearing leather shorts is an easy way to get that horrible, sticky feeling of being in the backseat of a car too long — instantly! Bonus: They look terrible on, apparently, almost everyone. “I think it looks sexy for very tall and a little androgynous women,” commented one Munich artist who runs a museum for lederhosen.
Leather shorts might be the latest in ill-advised pants trends, but they are far from the only — or the greatest — offenders. History has served up a veritable smorgasbord of uncomfortable, unwise and otherwise silly pants trends. For your consideration, we offer the following slide show of pants’ shameful moments.
Margaret Eby is an editorial fellow at Salon.More Margaret Eby.
Like little stars.
World's best pie apple. Essential for Tarte Tatin. Has five prominent ribs.
So pretty. So early. So ephemeral. Tastes like strawberry candy (slightly).
My personal fave. Ultra-crisp. Graham cracker flavor. Should be famous. Isn't.
High flavored with notes of blood orange and allspice. Very rare.
Jefferson's favorite. The best all-purpose American apple.
New Hampshire's native son has a grizzled appearance and a strangely addictive curry flavor. Very, very rare.
Makes the best hard cider in America. Soon to be famous.
Freak seedling found in an Oregon field in the '60s has pink flesh and a fragrant strawberry snap. Makes a killer rose cider.
Ben Franklin's favorite. Queen Victoria's favorite. Only apple native to NYC.
Really does taste like pineapple.