What if Jack Kevorkian had helped my mom die?
Watching HBO's movie about Dr. Death, I couldn't stop thinking about my mother's own planned suicide
By Zoe FitzGerald CarterWhen my mother was planning how to end her life in 2001, she joined the Hemlock Society and arranged to have one of their “Caring Friends” come to her house. The meeting with Bud, an overweight man in a black suit and bolo tie, is one of the central scenes in my recently published memoir about my mother’s suicide, “Imperfect Endings.”
Like the Hemlock-friendly psychiatrist who had prescribed a lethal amount of Seconal for her several months earlier, Bud seemed to have no qualms about helping my mother to die. (My mother had suffered from Parkinson’s for many years but was nowhere near death.) But it was what Bud proposed that disturbed me the most.
My mother would need to be alone in the house with only one person there to let him in, he explained. On the designated night, he and another volunteer would arrive with a plastic bag, tubing and a canister of helium.
“Then,” he drawled, pulling out what looked like a dirty white headband, “your mother puts the plastic bag over her head, feeds the tubin’ up underneath it and puts this band around her neck to secure it. She then reaches down and releases the valve on the canister of helium. The helium will cause her to fall unconscious in just a few minutes. When she’s dead, we take the plastic bag, the helium and everythin’ and leave the house. You call the medical examiner’s office to certify that she’s dead, and we’re done.”
Much to my relief, my mother seemed to realize that Bud was not the last person she wanted to see on Earth and she did not, ultimately, choose this route. But after spending my Saturday night watching “You Don’t Know Jack” on HBO, I had to wonder: If Dr. Kevorkian had been available, would he have been the next person my mother turned to?
Fortunately, I never had to find out, as “Dr. Death” was languishing in a jail cell in 2001. Three years earlier, he’d made the rather bizarre decision to kill one of his patients (Thomas Youk) by injecting him with potassium chloride. Up until then, Kevorkian had helped patients kill themselves by flipping the switch on his “mercitron” (a kind of death machine) or inhaling gas — again activated by the patient’s own hand.
Compounding the situation, Kevorkian filmed Youk’s death and gave the footage to “60 Minutes.” Why did he do this? It seems that both he and his cause were fading from the limelight by then, and he couldn’t bear it. In other words, it was a media stunt, pure and simple, one that landed him in jail for eight and a half years. (He was released in June of 2007 at the age of 79.)
Besides being something of a media hound, Kevorkian (played by Al Pacino in the film) was also a full-on eccentric with a major social gene missing. “There’s nothing further to be gained from talking to you!” he shouts at Janet Good (Susan Sarandon), a Hemlock Society supporter who is clearly an ally, but isn’t willing to let him use her house as a site for one of his mercy killings. And he seems to have an almost pathological fear of food.
“This is full of fat and sugar,” he grouses to his lawyer when he is handed a piece of pie. “Are you trying to kill me?”
”Just eat the fucking pie, Jack,” the lawyer shoots back, clearly tired of the skeletal Kevorkian’s ascetic eating habits. (In another scene, he growls, “Decaf is for cowards.”)
But while much of the humor in the movie comes from showing Kevorkian’s odd, antisocial behavior, there is clearly much to admire about the man — at least as he is portrayed by the screenwriters for HBO. In fact, the whole movie is something of an apologia, starting with the title, which is a fragment of a longer title: “Until You Know the Whole Story, You Don’t Know Jack.”
So, while we see many instances of Kevorkian’s self-aggrandizing behavior, we also see his compassion, even tenderness, when shepherding his patients through the last moments of their lives. “It’s not too late to stop now, my dear,” he tells Janet Adkins, the first woman he helps to die, who seems to hesitate before switching the valve on the lethal canister of gas at her side. “You wouldn’t offend me.” And then, when she determinedly pulls the switch, he strokes her hair as she dies, a moment that brought me to tears.
And time and again, we see his deep commitment to ending his patients’ suffering: his deep belief that he is helping them fulfill a basic human right to choose death over suffering. When his sister objects to his helping Adkins because her early dementia makes her a difficult first “test case,” he demands: “But what about her? Who cares what people think. It’s what my patient feels.”
It’s also revealed that much of what motivated Kevorkian was guilt over having allowed his mother to suffer at the end of her life. “I failed her,” he tells Good in a rare moment of introspection. “She once said to me, ‘Imagine, Jack, the worst toothache in the world. Now imagine that toothache in every bone in your body.’”
This is one of the great strengths of the film: We see Kevorkian’s sense of mission and his compassion, but also his self-delusion and hubris. In the most brilliant scene in the movie, we see him confront defeat. Having insisted on representing himself against murder charges in the Youk case, he quickly finds himself in way over his head. Unlike previous court cases, he is not being accused of assisted suicide but of murder, and it’s almost as if Kevorkian cannot comprehend this. Pacino, who is fabulous throughout, with his flat Midwestern twang and awkward gait, is completely riveting as he leans over the defense table, taking on and off his glasses, his face a study of exhausted defeat.
So why, given all Kevorkian’s strengths, am I relieved that my own mother’s path to “self-deliverance” never led to Kevorkian’s door? Well, just as I hated the idea that “Bud” might have been the last person my mother saw on this earth, I feel the same way about Kevorkian.
This is largely due to one scene that was so disturbing, I only hope to forget it as soon as possible. It happens about halfway through the movie, when Kevorkian has switched from the “mercitron” to gas. In an attempt to save his meager supply of it, he builds a plastic box to intensify the effects of the gas. In this scene, he places the box over the head of an elderly man with emphysema and then reacts impatiently when the box grows unbearably hot and the poor man rips it off his head, shouting, “Take it off, take it off.” In the end, realizing that he is only coming back to the same hell, he agrees to place the box back over his head. His head soon drops forward against the plastic contraption as his wife cries out in horror.
Having talked to Derek Humphry about the plastic bag/helium option that he describes in the most recent edition of his assisted suicide manual “Final Exit,” I understand that it does not have to be so terrible. But what really bothered me in this scene was Kevorkian’s cold response, not only when the man was dying, but afterward when his friend, Neal Nicol (John Goodman), chastises him for trying to “cut corners.”
“These are my decisions to make, Neal,” he snarls. “Mine alone.”
Now, I understand that this is a movie, not a documentary, and I can only hope that Kevorkian’s impatience with the process didn’t override his usual compassion the way it was depicted in this scene. But this scene was so repulsive to me — perhaps because I can imagine a scenario where that was my mother under Kevorkian’s plastic hood — that for all of the movie’s careful efforts to show Kevorkian in a good (if imperfect) light, I was no longer buying it. I still believe in what he fought for — the legal right to have a physician help you end your life in a quick and compassionate manner — but in the most profound way, getting to “know” Jack was to find him pretty repellent.
Related Stories
More Related Stories
-
Punk, dance music and drugs
-
My open relationship went awry
-
New York's most persecuted subway artist?
-
What's the Eiffel Tower doing in China?
-
Top 5 investigative videos of the week: Nailing a dictator
-
Will you marry me -- once you're done peeing?
-
My crushing student debt
-
Pollution as ancient Chinese art
-
Chimp's blurry pictures to fetch six figures at auction
-
Can playing Dots on your iPhone make you smarter?
-
Print your own gardening accessories
-
The week in 10 pics
-
Temple Grandin on DSM-5: "Sounds like diagnosis by committee"
-
Stop comparing everything to "Girls"!
-
Is killing a fetus murder?
-
New DSM, new debates over ADHD and autism
-
Berlusconi's parties featured women dressed as Obama
-
Should graduation ceremonies be multi-faith?
-
Federal government is letting us eat metal shards, pink slime
-
Photographed secretly at home: Is it art?
-
Obama pledges to end "scourge" of sexual assault in the military
Featured Slide Shows
The week in 10 pics
close X- Share on Twitter
- Share on Facebook
- Thumbnails
- Fullscreen
- 1 of 11
- Previous
- Next
-
Lisa Montgomery embraces her nephew Thursday after a tornado tore apart her home in Cleburne, Texas. The twister killed six people and destroyed entire swaths of the North Texas town.
Credit: AP/LM Otero -
Jack McMahon, the defense attorney for abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell, speaks outside the Criminal Justice Center in Philadelphia Tuesday. His client was convicted of killing three babies in his clinic, and will serve multiple life sentences.
Credit: AP/Matt Rourke -
A photo taken Monday captures Vice President Joe Biden's response to a Milwaukee second-grader's innovative proposal to end America's epidemic of gun violence. This guy!
Credit: AP/Jenny Aicher -
Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., flanked by a grouper-eyed Michele Bachmann, addresses the IRS' admission that it targeted Tea Party groups in advance of the 2012 election. In an op-ed for CNN Thursday, the Kentucky senator slammed the president for his faux outrage.
Credit: AP/Molly Riley -
Ousted IRS chief Steven Miller is sworn in on Capitol Hill Friday. Miller testified before the House Ways and Means Committee on the extra scrutiny the agency gave conservative groups applying for tax-exempt status.
Credit: AP/J. Scott Applewhite -
Attorney General Eric Holder pauses as he testifies on Capitol Hill before the House Judiciary Committee Wednesday. Holder is under fire, among other things, for the Justice Department's gathering of phone records at the Associated Press.
Credit: AP/Carolyn Kaster -
O.J. Simpson sits during an evidentiary hearing at Clark County District Court in Las Vegas, Nev., Thursday. Simpson, who is currently serving a nine-to-33-year sentence in state prison for armed robbery and kidnapping, is using a writ of habeas corpus to seek a new trial.
Credit: AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal/Jeff Scheid -
Major Tom to ground control: On Sunday astronaut Chris Hadfield recorded the first music video from space, a cover of David Bowie's "Space Oddity."
Credit: AP/NASA/Chris Hadfield -
When it rains it pours. President Barack Obama speaks during a news conference Thursday with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, inexplicably inspiring an #umbrellagate Twitter meme.
Credit: AP/Jacquelyn Martin -
A smoke plume rises high above a road block at the intersection of County A and Ross Road east of Solon Springs, Wis., Tuesday. No injuries were reported, but the the wildfire caused evacuations across northwestern Wisconsin.
Credit: AP/The Duluth News-Tribune/Clint Austin -
Recent Slide Shows
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
Mobile Entertainment: 9 Amazing Drive-In Movie Theaters Still Standing
-
The week in 10 pics
-
- Share on Twitter
- Share on Facebook
- Thumbnails
- Fullscreen
- 1 of 11
- Previous
- Next
-
The week in 10 pics
-
Mobile Entertainment: 9 Amazing Drive-In Movie Theaters Still Standing
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
Netflix's April Fools' Day categories
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
Slideshow: Nerd Obama
Related Videos
Most Read
-
Obstruction will ruin GOP
Jonathan Bernstein
-
Revenge, ego and the corruption of Wikipedia
Andrew Leonard
-
We're living in an Ayn Rand economy
Paul Buchheit, AlterNet
-
Jaron Lanier: The Internet destroyed the middle class
Scott Timberg
-
"Jodorowsky's Dune": The sci-fi classic that never was
Andrew O'Hehir
-
Will you marry me -- once you're done peeing?
Tracy Clark-Flory
-
Temple Grandin on DSM-5: "Sounds like diagnosis by committee"
Temple Grandin
-
The man behind Abercrombie & Fitch
Benoit Denizet-Lewis
-
My open relationship went awry
David Farley
-
Is Reddit censoring openly racist users?
Fidel Martinez, The Daily Dot
Popular on Reddit
links from salon.com

246 points247 points248 points | 226 comments
From Around the Web
Presented by Scribol
-
Leah Eichler: How Women Hold Themselves Back in Business -
Karen Ruimy: Glamour and Riots in Paris: An Evening With Eva Longoria and David Beckham -
GOP Candidate Compared Planned Parenthood To KKK -
WATCH: Uh Oh, Jen Is Still Mad At Ben -
Mike Ryan: Ben Affleck Bids Bill Hader & Fred Armisen A Fond Farewell
-
Diane Gilman: Baby Boomers: A New Life-Construct -- From "Invisible to Invincible!" -
Susan Gregory Thomas: Why Divorced Boomer Moms Don't Deserve The Bad Rap -
British Nanny Offered An Annual Salary Of $200,000 -
Arianna Huffington: What I Did (and Didn't Do) On My Summer Vacation -
Vivian Diller, Ph.D.: Maybe Happiness Begins At 50




30 Places You'd Rather Be Sitting Right Now
Comments
12 Comments