Nothing starts a ruckus on the Web quite like a squeaky clean young Disney star and a little suggestive writhing. So when Miley Cyrus debuted her pouty new music video last night — for a song that sports the provocative name “Can’t Be Tamed” — you could practically hear indignation rolling across the land.
In the video, Miley is a rare bird in a gilded cage who wears a ton of makeup. Kind of like the chicken lady in “Freaks,” but hotter. But this bird can’t be tamed, see? So she busts free — getting in a little dry hump against the bars of her cage on the way out — and proceeds to shimmy and grind against a menagerie of male and female sexy beasts along the way, while telling you to “go to hell.” Are you outraged yet?
While some of the commenters on E!, where the video premiered, were complimentary of Cyrus’s new direction, others wasted no time in labeling her a “half naked … Britney wannabe” and “another Disney chick gone horribly wrong.” The Daily Mail, meanwhile, more gently pondered: “Aren’t you a little young for that?”
Cyrus, who’s in her final season as Disney’s Hannah Montana, has shrewdly been laying the groundwork for her move away from the tween-friendly character for a long time now. Two years ago, she scandalized the planet by baring her back in Vanity Fair. More recently, she stretched herself dramatically in “The Last Song.” Everybody grows up — and it’s natural that Cyrus would be expressing that in her work. One day you’re little Penny from “Good Times,” the next, you’re the 19-year-old sexpot Janet Jackson of “Control.” One day you’re the kid from “Charlotte’s Web,” the next, you’re making out with Kristen Stewart in “The Runaways.”
So it’s not surprising that Cyrus would want a more adult image. And unlike many prefab pop tarts who’ve gone before her, Cyrus actually has talent galore. She’s got a hell of a set of pipes; she’s a naturally gifted musician; she’s a far better actress and comic presence than Madonna ever was — and it doesn’t hurt that she’s also stunning. She’s even put out decent singles like “The Climb” — which is fortunate for those of us who have little girls and have to hear those songs on a continuous loop.
What a letdown, then, is how predictable, derivative and dumb her chosen breakout vehicle turns out to be. At the top of her game, Cyrus is an artist who could do anything she wants right now. She got Nicholas Sparks to write a movie for her, for God’s sake. Why would she release a song that sounds so tinny and mechanical? Cyrus told E! yesterday, “For me it’s never been about fitting in. I’d rather stand out.” So why put out a video that looks like a very expensive rip-off of everything that’s already out there? Oh, you’re a wild animal in a cage? Can we put you in the same zoo as that She Wolf, Shakira? That dreamy, lay-my-jeweled-body-down-in-an-alternate-universe shtick? This terri much covered when Fergie did it in “Meet Me Halfway.” And I’m sorry, but until further notice, only Gaga gets to do avian hats. Don’t even get me started on the Adam Lambert comparisons.
Very few people ever transition seamlessly from cute teen to mature adult – whether they’re an ordinary girl or Disney’s biggest princess. Cyrus, like anyone who’s ever been 17, has a right to stumble and look silly. But if you’re going to tell the world you can’t be tamed, maybe you should consider doing it in a way that doesn’t look so painfully contrived.
Miley Cyrus is not a good girl gone bad. She’s just a little girl grown up. In a new story in Asia’s Prestige magazine, the former Hannah Montana — who’s taken heat in recent years for her underwear flaunting, lap-dancing antics — strikes back against those who find her suddenly too controversial. “There was this magazine article the other day, showing all the younger celebrities,” she says. “I was the Girl Next Door or whatever, and I fell under the category of Good Girl Gone Bad … What the hell, man?”
As anyone who’s followed Cyrus’ career over the years — and as the mother of two girls, believe me, I qualify — could tell you, Cyrus has had a bumpy road to adulthood. The girl who became a star at age 13 has seen her rump shaking and salvia smoking horrify parents. Her vocal support of gay rights shocked conservative Christians. And as her fan base hit middle school, she was instantly rendered uncool to an entire generation.
And while growing up is awkward for everybody, it can be downright brutal when you’re one of the most famous entertainers in the world. Cyrus’ every move is scrutinized, every mistake is front-page news. “Every 18-year-old explores sexuality and experiments and tries things,” she says. “For me there’s no reason to change that,” a notion that fans who still think of her as a face on lunchboxes will just have to get used to.
Cyrus may become one of the lucky ones like Drew Barrymore and Justin Timberlake, performers who transitioned from youthful idols into respected adult performers while also making it OK to be sexy. But along the way, she may well make some terrible movies or bust some awkward dance moves or make some truly dubious sartorial choices. That’s what being famous and 18 tends to involve. And as a trade-off, she’ll have to deal with the fact that “People see me as this perfect Disney star, and the moment I put out a record that says ‘I’m not 11 years old anymore,’ people look down on me.”
Little girls, as Maurice Chevalier once lasciviously pointed out, get bigger every day. And the smiling Hannah of just a few years ago is now Miley in a revealing halter top and sultry bob on Prestige’s cover. Deal with it, America. As she says she’s told her 11-year-old sister, “Don’t put yourself in a situation where people are going to think of you as only one thing. You’re going to change a lot. It interferes with your growing up if you’re not strong enough and you’re not sure who you want to be.”
Disney Princess. Bewigged pop star. Occasional salvia indulger and lap dancer. And increasingly, outspoken champion of gay and lesbian rights. Miley Cyrus — who knew the girl had such gumption? Welcome to her summer of LGBT love.
Two months ago, the 18-year-old singer got in a Twitter tiff with a fellow Tennessean over “moral values” and declared she’s “not gonna be a closed-minded hypocrite,” before ripping into Rick Santorum and his acolytes, including “SHADYASHELL” Urban Outfitters. And last month, after the Casey Anthony verdict, she was railing on Twitter that “You know the world is skewed when people get away with murdering children but we cant get gay marriage legalized in the state of California.”
Now, Cyrus has expressed her feelings a little more permanently, flaunting an equality tattoo on her ring finger and tweeting this weekend that “All LOVE is equal.” And when a Christian fan took offense, she promptly snapped, “where does it say in the bible to judge others? Oh right. It doesn’t. GOD is the only judge honey. GOD is love.”
Cyrus has been getting inked almost as long as she’s been singing. She has several other tattoos, including a “Just breathe” motto under her ribcage in honor of a friend who died of cystic fibrosis. And adorned on her fingers like little rings, she has a heart, a peace sign, the word “karma,” and more. Now this. A tattoo is not exactly the world’s most articulate statement of support for a cause, nor is it always the wisest long-term way to express your feelings. You’ve got to wonder if she had to do it all over again, if Kat Von D would get Jesse James’ face plastered on her ribcage. Yet there’s something undeniably, sweetly sincere — and unmistakably youthful — about hopeful solidarity nonetheless.
To superficial observers, Cyrus has long appeared just another prefab teen pop star, an artificial creation designed to sell lunch boxes. But Cyrus has long bucked that image, sometimes with truly terrible music videos and sometimes by taking genuine creative and personal risks. Her outspokenness about LGBT rights and in particular, same-sex marriage, set her apart from the usual pack of bland young celebs too afraid of alienating their fan base to take a stand on anything.
It’s easy for those of us who are older and who inhabit the Godless Sodoms of America to take for granted something as seemingly innocuous — and frankly crudely done — as two little lines on a ring finger. But for Cyrus, it’s something else. She’s not Gaga, with a more adult and sophisticated image and audience. And though the sexy dancing at the Teen Choice Awards might be vaguely scandalous, it can be a real career game-changer for a girl to risk alienating a mighty Christian and conservative fan base. Cyrus is aware of this — in 2009 she took a Twitter sabbatical, in part, she says, because of the anti-gay hostility she found aimed at her there. And sure enough, she has bashers criticizing her today for “supporting a perverse life style.”
Yet bless her young heart, she’s still at it. Her gestures may still seem clumsy, but here’s a reminder — it’s impossible to have it all figured out neatly at 18. And maybe those two lines on the finger of one teenage girl don’t seem like a whole lot toward the cause of equality, but it’s a gesture of support nonetheless. More important, it’s a challenge — not to the hipsters and the already liberal, but to the little girls who like to Party in the U.S.A. To fans who consider themselves Cyrus’ fellow Christians. If it plants a notion in those heads, if it makes fans who hadn’t considered LGBT rights before have a conversation about it and open their minds, then it’s a little tattoo that makes a big statement.
Miley Cyrus … can I ever look at you without feeling like a lecherous old man? From the time you were 15 and appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair wearing only a sheet, it’s been a battle not to see you partially clothed everywhere I go.
Other times, you’re shoving your post-Hannah Montana B-cups in my face so hard that I can almost hear you screaming, “I’m an adult now! Take me and my breasts seriously!” For example: your music videos for “Can’t Be Tamed.” Or “Who Owns My Heart.“ Or when you pretended to kiss one of your female dancers on “Britain’s Got Talent.” And that’s not even mentioning those party shots of you involving lap dances, salvia and more half-naked, girl-on-girl kissing. Which has less to do with your sexuality, Miley, and more with the fact that you were 17 and acting like Paris Hilton on a bender.
So please forgive me for feeling weird about these new, semi-innocuous stills for your latest film “So Undercover.” If it weren’t for your dramatic history with underwear, these photos wouldn’t seem so bad. But with you Miley, the pictures carry three years of associated guilt and anxiety that the government is going to come arrest me for having child pornography on my computer.
You’re 18 now, which is the age when the sexy vs. too sexy debate usually begins to get interesting for Op-Ed writers and TV pundits. But you’ve been scandalized and scandalizing for awhile now; you’ve made your stance clear about rebelling from your Disney image, and at this point it’s barely news when you walk out of your house in only lingerie. If anything, these photos for “So Undercover” are way more conservative than the bra and short-shorts you’ve been wearing to the supermarket for the past 24 months. (The Supermarket is a hot new club in London, FYI.)
But it still feels weird. Legal, but weird.
Then again, maybe I should just be glad you’re so fond of underwear that you literally spend $3K at a time shopping for panties and bras. It will really cut down on the number of paparazzi upskirt photos we’ll have to see in the future.
Happy first day of Pride Month – here’s your pop quiz. Which of these three are openly supportive of gay rights, and which is a Rick Santorum supporter?
a) Miley Cyrus
b) Old Navy
c) Urban Outfitters
The correct answer is: a and b get their pride on, while c decidedly does not. Pride party in the USA!
Cyrus may not be the outspoken “Born This Way” icon that Gaga is, but the kid gets props for shutting down — and openly expressing her disdain for — intolerance this week. When a fellow Tennessean and self-professed Christian fan named Tammy Hudson took to Twitter to lament “what happened To that Christian girl from Tn with decent moral values and a lot of heart?” Cyrus promptly singled the woman out from among her over 1 million followers to call shenanigans. “What an ignorant statement,” she wrote. “I dont have ‘alot of heart’ cuz im not gonna be a closed minded hypocrite? LOVE IS LOVE. GOD IS LOVE.” It’s a statement so forthright and so sadly lacking in Christian conservatism, we’re willing to forgive Cyrus her “alot” and “cuz.” (Hudson, meanwhile, was unmoved, elaborating later that “I didn’t decide it was wrong to be gay. God did, I just follow his rules.”)
But Cyrus had more to say. Taking aim at hipster douchebag retailer Urban Outfitters, which made headlines recently for yet another in their long line of controversies over allegedly ripping off designs, Cyrus tweeted, “Love that everybody is hating on Urban Outfitters…. Not only do they steal from artists but every time you give them money you help finance a campaign against gay equality. #SHADYASHELL” and “‘IF WE ALLOW GAY MARRIAGE NEXT THING U KNOW PEOPLE WILL BE MARRYING GOLD FISH’ – Rick Santorum UO contributed $13,000 to this mans campaign.” [sic]
Cyrus, bless her teenage heart, is correct about Urban Outfitters. The Philadelphia-based company’s founder Richard Hayne has contributed a fortune to the hyperbolicSantorum’s political action committee over the years. And three years ago, the company did a hasty 180, pulling an “I Support Same Sex Marriage” shirt off its shelves after just one week because it was causing “too much bad press.”
If she’s looking for an inexpensive T-shirt chain that’s more politically evolved this summer, Cyrus may prefer to throw her love behind Old Navy. This week the retailer debuted a line of four pride-themed shirts, with 10 percent of the proceeds from sales going to the brilliant “It Gets Better” project. The shirts, unfortunately, are only available in a mere 26 of Old Navy’s more than 1,000 stores, and not for sale online, suggesting a very timid first foray into the equal rights biz. But in a world where kids can still be suspended from school for wearing a shirt that expresses support for something as controversial as love and equality, and celebrities can be chastised for their “moral values” of tolerance, it’s encouraging to see such mainstream, middle-of-the-road American icons as Old Navy and Miley Cyrus speaking out. It offers the hope that, one T-shirt, one tweet at time, it really is getting better.
With all the problems in the government this week — from the possible shutdown to the tea partiers to Donald Trump — isn’t it time you stopped and focused on what was really important? Like all that entertainment news you’ve let slip through your brain while you were contemplating what would happen if the federal government stopped working? Well now it’s time to take a deep breath, relax and check out some of the weirder stuff you may have missed this week.
1.) Bacon cologne and perfume: Hey, that’s a thing now! Really great to use if you like being chased down the street by dogs.
2.) Ben Affleck may be playing the brutish Tom Buchanan in Baz Luhrmann’s “The Great Gatsby” remake: Fine. He might actually rock that. But does it still have to be in 3D?
3.) The video preview for the Beastie Boys’ eighth album, “Hot Sauce Committee, Part Two.”
Usually we’d think it’s silly for an album to get a trailer (We’re getting a little trailer-heavy: Why do books need trailers? Only movies need trailers!), but “Fight For Your Right – Revisited” has Susan Sarandon, Will Ferrell, Jack Black, Stanley Tucci, Danny McBride, Seth Rogen and John C. Reilly. So it’s basically the best.
4.) Pia Toscano eliminated from “American Idol”: We know, crowd favorite. But you guys are the ones who voted her off! Also, now Casey Abrams can go on to Viking glory.
5.) Kirstie Alley fell down on “Dancing with the Stars”: And somehow you managed not to talk about it all week! Good for you!
6.) Jay-Z starts lifestyle newsletter: I was just wondering how Jigga could be more like Gwyneth Paltrow.
7.) Tina Fey leaving “30 Rock” to have a baby: OK, it sucks, and we know that. But you know what? If this is what an empowered, feminist comedy icon wants to do with her life, who are we to be like “Nooo you can’t have another baby, we want more funny stuff!” Grow up, us.
8.) Miley Cyrus sex doll sells out in 48 hours: Which is twice as long as it took regular Miley Cyrus.
9.) Charlie Sheen courts Mila Kunis: Oh, this should be good. We mean, obviously not for Mila, who is horrified. But for the rest of us watching at home: good times.
10.) Baby bald eagle cam!!: Three babies hatched recently, letting us all into the guilty pleasure of feeling a vague sense of voyeurism towards our national mascot. But still, awwww!