In addition to being the auteur behind “Blue Velvet,” “Mulholland Dr.” and “Twin Peaks,” David Lynch has for years had a tidy sideline directing commercials for everything from Alka-Seltzer to pregnancy tests. Now, he lends his WTF? je ne sais quoi to the venerable house of Dior, writing and directing a 16-minute mini epic that sets Marion Cotillard (who makes an eerily perfect Lynch heroine) in a Shanghai mystery involving a glowing — and seriously covetable — quilted handbag. There’s strange music, Lynch’s trademark rich colors, poetry and more macguffins than you could stuff in a satchel. If it weren’t an ad, it’d simply be a lovely, weird and surprisingly sad little movie. As it is, we have absolutely no idea what any of it means; we’re just quite sure we can’t afford it.