2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Senator Ben Nelson announced that he’s joining Evan Bayh, Susan Collins, and the other Nelson in supporting a repeal of the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Which is great news, if you’re in favor of the radical homosexualist agenda.
Family Research Council head Tony Perkins, though, knows the truth: allowing gays and lesbians (sorry, “homosexuals”) to serve openly “will increase sexual tension and even sexual assault in the military.”
Now, you may assume that the vast majority of cases of sexual assault in the armed forces is perpetrated by straight men against women. And your assumption would be completely, 100% correct. But Perkins knows all too well that predatory homosexuals are just lying in wait for permission to be open about their sexual orientation before they begin their terror campaign of rampant harassment and gross touching.
The American Family Association’s official news agency accuses Democrats of “force-feeding” the DADT repeal, and, for good measure, they put the word “gay” in scare quotes in the headline. That is a step in the direction of tolerance, actually — this is the site that referred to the athletic exploits of “Tyson Homosexual” because they automatically filter and replace all examples of the word “gay.”
Even the still-twitching corpse of the Washington Times has given in and refers to LGBT people as “gay” (“except in clinical references or references to sexual activity”).
Despite these gestures toward tolerance, and the fact that a majority of Americans support allowing gay people to serve openly, Democratic Senator Jim Webb and Republican supermodel Scott Brown have come out against repeal.
The vote could come tomorrow, and it’s by no means a sure thing.
Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at email@example.com and follow him on Twitter @pareeneMore Alex Pareene.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.