SALON

Monday, Jul 12, 2010 3:13 PM UTC

“Real Housewives” and our era of catfights

As the New Jersey ladies hype another throwdown, America's love affair with angry women continues

By

Topics: The Real Housewives, Feminism, Reality TV,

You thought the buildup to LeBron’s prime time was big? Thought the World Cup offered dramatic tension? Screw that. Tonight’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” has something none of those recent pop culture moments had going for them: catfighting!

Bravo has eagerly promoted the girl-on-girl-on-girl-on-multiple-innocent-bystanders action ever since the hair-pulling, expletive-enhanced throwdown occurred at a New Jersey country club last November. And why not? As Jerry Seinfeld explained years ago in a memorable, claws-out episode of his sitcom, “Men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other there’s a chance they might … somehow … kiss.”

There’s a thriving genre of catfight porn, but there are plenty of mainstream examples of the sexy catfight that becomes so much more. I’ll never forget seeing “Wild Things” at a crowded theater. When Neve Campbell and Denise Richards started kicking each other’s asses in that pool, you could hear boners rising in the audience well before they got around to kissing. Those clothes-ripping Miller Lite campaigns and Ginger vs. Mary Ann cream pie battles all tap into that simple, Seinfeldian allure of the catfight — the way it combines our love of lesbianism with our love of a good hate fuck.

But there’s something else to the catfight. We know full well Krystle and Alexis aren’t gong to make out,  that it will end badly for Teri Hatcher and Charlize Theron in “Two Days in the Valley,” and that despite Danielle’s recent walk on the Sapphic side , she and Teresa are not going to hook up. But there’s something about subverting the whole feminist paradigm that gets audiences going. Something that says, see? Women really do loathe each other’s guts. It’s that physical articulation of enmity that holds a vicious appeal.

If you’ve watched the crowd cheer Uma Thurman as she destroys Vivica Fox in “Kill Bill” or yell “Kill the skank” when Beyoncé opens up the whoop-ass on Ali Larter in “Obsessed,” you know it’s not that great a leap from that to the gleeful coverage of the Meg Whitman-Carly Fiorina or Michelle Obama-Patti Blagojevich “catfights.” And what was that whole dust-up among Jezebel and “The Daily Show” and Emily Let-Me-Throw-My-2-Cents-In Gould  if not an old-fashioned feminist catfight? Ladies are so cute, the way they go at each other like “Jersey Shore” bitches in heat! Everybody knows when women disagree with each other, they’re undermining their entire sex, because there’s supposed to be one feminist doctrine. MRRRRRRREEER! And if you’re the kind of person who gets off on feeling superior to chicks, that is hot.

So when, Monday night, “Real Housewives” continues its tradition of presenting us stuck-up princesses going at each other’s throats, America will be right there to lap up every angry, sexy, dogma-sabotaging moment. Sisterhood is powerful, all right. It’ll scratch your eyes out.

Mary Elizabeth Williams

Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams.

Next Article

Related Stories

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

The week in 10 pics

close X
  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • Thumbnails
  • Fullscreen
  • 1 of 11
  • Lisa Montgomery embraces her nephew Thursday after a tornado tore apart her home in Cleburne, Texas. The twister killed six people and destroyed entire swaths of the North Texas town.
    Credit: AP/LM Otero

  • Jack McMahon, the defense attorney for abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell, speaks outside the Criminal Justice Center in Philadelphia Tuesday. His client was convicted of killing three babies in his clinic, and will serve multiple life sentences.
    Credit: AP/Matt Rourke

  • A photo taken Monday captures Vice President Joe Biden's response to a Milwaukee second-grader's innovative proposal to end America's epidemic of gun violence. This guy!
    Credit: AP/Jenny Aicher

  • Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., flanked by a grouper-eyed Michele Bachmann, addresses the IRS' admission that it targeted Tea Party groups in advance of the 2012 election. In an op-ed for CNN Thursday, the Kentucky senator slammed the president for his faux outrage.
    Credit: AP/Molly Riley

  • Ousted IRS chief Steven Miller is sworn in on Capitol Hill Friday. Miller testified before the House Ways and Means Committee on the extra scrutiny the agency gave conservative groups applying for tax-exempt status.
    Credit: AP/J. Scott Applewhite

  • Attorney General Eric Holder pauses as he testifies on Capitol Hill before the House Judiciary Committee Wednesday. Holder is under fire, among other things, for the Justice Department's gathering of phone records at the Associated Press.
    Credit: AP/Carolyn Kaster

  • O.J. Simpson sits during an evidentiary hearing at Clark County District Court in Las Vegas, Nev., Thursday. Simpson, who is currently serving a nine-to-33-year sentence in state prison for armed robbery and kidnapping, is using a writ of habeas corpus to seek a new trial.
    Credit: AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal/Jeff Scheid

  • Major Tom to ground control: On Sunday astronaut Chris Hadfield recorded the first music video from space, a cover of David Bowie's "Space Oddity."
    Credit: AP/NASA/Chris Hadfield

  • When it rains it pours. President Barack Obama speaks during a news conference Thursday with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, inexplicably inspiring an #umbrellagate Twitter meme.
    Credit: AP/Jacquelyn Martin

  • A smoke plume rises high above a road block at the intersection of County A and Ross Road east of Solon Springs, Wis., Tuesday. No injuries were reported, but the the wildfire caused evacuations across northwestern Wisconsin.
    Credit: AP/The Duluth News-Tribune/Clint Austin

  • Recent Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • Thumbnails
  • Fullscreen
  • 1 of 11

Related Videos

Comments

 19 Comments

Comment Preview

Your name will appear as username

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href=""> <b> <em> <strong> <i> <blockquote>

follow salon

Most Read

Popular on Reddit

links from salon.com

From Around the Web

Presented by Scribol
listener_new_rect The Listener: So long, Sookie Stackhouse

Recommendations