2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Not so long ago (Thursday morning), in a place not so far, far away (Setauket, N.Y.) a man in a Darth Vader mask and cape robbed a Chase Manhattan bank, leaving with an undetermined amount of cash.
This was no Comic-Con stunt, either, though one customer thought the costume was a joke and tried to strike up a conversation before the evil Jedi threw him to the ground. Luckily, no one else was harmed.
The illusion of the Sith Lord was somewhat ruined, though, by the culprit’s camouflage pants and gun, instead of Vader’s customary red light saber.
Witnesses said they saw the man getting away, not by TIE Fighter ship, but on a bike still wearing the costume. Not very conspicuous is he? But the ploy may have worked. Suffolk County police said they are searching for the man, though the only identifying information they have is that he is 6 feet tall.
It seems like crooks are becoming more creative. This heist comes after an odd set of robberies by a man brandishing a bouquet of flowers.
Here’s the local report of the incident.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.