2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
The RNC has been struggling to raise money lately, so a big-ticket Southern California fundraiser featuring beloved American Entertainer Andrew Breitbart seemed like a wonderful idea — but, for some reason, the proposed fundraiser has been postponed!
There was speculation, initially, that the event was canceled due to the recent incident in which Mr. Breitbart smeared an honorable public servant named Shirley Sherrod, by posting a misleadingly edited video clip and falsely accusing her of racism against some white people whose farm she saved, many years ago.
Ms. Sherrod was promptly fired, because the administration was worried that Glenn Beck would call her a racist. She is suing Breitbart, who was roundly and finally called a bullshit artist by the members of the press that he professes to be warring with but with whom he is actually in a parasitic relationship.
So did the RNC wise up and decide not to embrace the unhinged, race-baiting Breitbart? No, they just moved the event to September because the big spenders weren’t signing up for the August date. So now the “final event” before the election in California, at which the party will raise its get-out-the-vote campaign money, is scheduled for some time after Labor Day. And Breitbart is totally still invited, if he can fit it into his schedule. Perhaps RNC head Michael Steele can help with Breitbart’s road to redemption, by helping him to understand urban-suburban hip-hop settings.
Let’s hope Breitbart can still make it! I mean the guy is busy — when he’s not screaming about things on Fox, he is screaming about things at “minority-based Tea Party events” he organizes to prove once and for all that the Tea Parties are not even a little bit racist.
(That event, in Philadelphia, went swimmingly. 300 mostly white people showed up and other organizers expressed their discomfort with the presence of the suddenly tarnished Breitbart.)
Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at email@example.com and follow him on Twitter @pareeneMore Alex Pareene.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.