2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
When rumors began swirling this week that MSNBC was looking to replace temperamental lefty dreamboat blowhard Keith Olbermann with temperamental lefty dreamboat blowhard Alec Baldwin, it seemed too nutty to be true. Baldwin is a beloved comic actor, not a cable TV talking head, for pity’s sake. Today, a spokesperson for NBC confirmed that the rumors were untrue, but that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t happen — like Olbermann, Baldwin has a magnetic television presence, a flair for getting attention, and a distinctive way with words. He may not possess Olbermann’s glasses or gravitas, but has Keith ever done a spot on Charles Nelson Reilly? “30 Rock” can’t last forever. And the elite liberal media needs a new wacko pundit of its own. Need further proof that Baldwin could be the greatest crazy thing to happen to cable since public access? Let us count down the ways.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.