SALON

Friday, Feb 18, 2011 4:45 PM UTC

Dissecting Britney Spears’ “Hold It Against Me”

The fallen pop star returns with "Hold It Against Me." Lady Gaga only wishes she'd thought of IV paint drips

By

Topics: Britney Spears, Television,

Dissecting Britney Spears' Britney is crazy for you

Lindsay Lohan would do well to look at Britney Spears for a role model. Only four years ago, Britney was attacking cars with an umbrella during a nasty divorce battle with Kevin Federline. Every day brought news of her recent exploits: letting her baby drive the car, rehab, hit and run charges.

But it’s 2011 and, as they say, Britney is back (bitch). She guest-starred in a “Glee”-themed episode revolving around her music, just purchased an $18.9 million mansion, and has released the first music video off her new “Femme Fatale” album, “Hold It Against Me.”

But just what are we looking at here?

So what’s going on here? An alien Britney falls to earth in a comet, but she spends the entire video inside of a metal room filled with wires, video feeds and Sony computers/televisions. In between rising above ground in a giant wedding dress with IV tubes plugged into her, Britney-alien-bot imagines a room where two other versions of herself are fighting. She goes and checks up on her PlentyofFish.com dating account. There’s a cute boy! Suddenly, paint sprays from the IV tubes, drenching the minions of dancers with no eye sockets who prance around her, waiting to get hired for a Lady Gaga video. All three Britneys (one in the room, two fighting in space) fall to the ground, spent after their paint ejaculation. But like Britney herself, these women-things are down but not beaten. They begin to rise once again and sing, as an angelic-looking Britney (circa 2003?) brings the world her message on a plasma screen.

Liz Kelly of the Washington Post called the video an “infomercial” for her own cosmetics brand, Make Up Forever, along with PlentyOfFish.com and Sony. But the first time around, I almost missed the makeup thing entirely. Sony is more indiscreetly placed. (Why would an alien mental patient — or whatever the hell she is — be using Sony?), while the PlentyOfFish shot doesn’t even make sense in the context of the video (which, to be fair, isn’t very coherent in the first place).

Still, it’s visually stunning, with a “Matrix” meets “The Cell” vibe that will have Lady Gaga wishing she had thought of IV paint drips first. If Britney’s metaphoric selves are actually duking it out in her brain as well as they are in this video, we can only assume that, for now at least, the good half has won out. 

Drew Grant is a staff writer for Salon. Follow her on Twitter at @videodrew. More Drew Grant.

Next Article

Related Stories

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

The week in 10 pics

close X
  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • Thumbnails
  • Fullscreen
  • 1 of 11
  • Lisa Montgomery embraces her nephew Thursday after a tornado tore apart her home in Cleburne, Texas. The twister killed six people and destroyed entire swaths of the North Texas town.
    Credit: AP/LM Otero

  • Jack McMahon, the defense attorney for abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell, speaks outside the Criminal Justice Center Philadelphia Tuesday. His client was convicted of killing three babies in his clinic, and will serve multiple life sentences.
    Credit: AP/Matt Rourke

  • A photo taken Monday captures Vice President Joe Biden's response to a Milwaukee second-grader's innovative proposal to end America's epidemic of gun violence. This guy!
    Credit: AP/Jenny Aicher

  • Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., flanked by a grouper-eyed Michele Bachmann, addresses the IRS' admission that it targeted Tea Party groups in advance of the 2012 election. In an op-ed for CNN Thursday, the Kentucky senator slammed the president for his faux outrage.
    Credit: AP/Molly Riley

  • Ousted IRS chief Steven Miller is sworn in on Capitol Hill Friday. Miller testified before the House Ways and Means Committee on the extra scrutiny the agency gave conservative groups applying for tax-exempt status.
    Credit: AP/J. Scott Applewhite

  • Attorney General Eric Holder pauses as he testifies on Capitol Hill before the House Judiciary Committee Wednesday. Holder is under fire, among other things, for the Justice Department's gathering of phone records at the Associated Press.
    Credit: AP/Carolyn Kaster

  • O.J. Simpson sits during an evidentiary hearing at Clark County District Court in Las Vegas, Nev., Thursday. Simpson, who is currently serving a nine-to-33-year sentence in state prison for armed robbery and kidnapping, is using a writ of habeas corpus to seek a new trial.
    Credit: AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal/Jeff Scheid

  • Major Tom to ground control: On Sunday astronaut Chris Hadfield recorded the first music video from space, a cover of David Bowie's "Space Oddity."
    Credit: AP/NASA/Chris Hadfield

  • When it rains it pours. President Barack Obama speaks during a news conference Thursday with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, inexplicably inspiring an #umbrellagate Twitter meme.
    Credit: AP/Jacquelyn Martin

  • A smoke plume rises high above a road block at the intersection of County A and Ross Road east of Solon Springs, Wis., Tuesday. No injuries were reported, but the the wildfire caused evacuations across northwestern Wisconsin.
    Credit: AP/The Duluth News-Tribune/Clint Austin

  • Recent Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • Thumbnails
  • Fullscreen
  • 1 of 11

Related Videos

Comments

 12 Comments

Comment Preview

Your name will appear as username

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href=""> <b> <em> <strong> <i> <blockquote>

follow salon

Most Read

Popular on Reddit

links from salon.com

vote
New Yorker launches tool by Aaron Swartz to protect leaks: Strongbox, co-created by the late technologist, is an open-source drop box for leaked documents
124 points125 points | 3 comments
vote
New Yorker launches tool by Aaron Swartz to protect leaks: Strongbox, co-created by the persecuted late technologist, is an open-source drop box for leaked documents
93 points94 points | comment
vote
Obstruction will ruin the GOP: Playing politics and abusing the system can excite the extremes, but it's a recipe for long-term political disaster
32 points33 points | 8 comments
vote
Revenge editing on Wikipedia: The unmasking of a writer who took advantage of online anonymity to pursue vendettas with other writers
14 points15 points | 3 comments
vote
In Montana, dark money brings down a judicial candidate
10 points11 points | 5 comments

From Around the Web

Presented by Scribol
listener_new_rect The Listener: So long, Sookie Stackhouse

Recommendations