Nicolas Cage
In jail
Employer: Nellis minimum-security prison in Nevada
Salary: Owes $500,000 to government for insurance fraud
To be totally honest, we’re not sure how Nic Cage manages to stay out of jail as is, considering how much money he owes to the government. But if he weren’t a Coppola, Nic would have been a businessman or banker (or possibly a real estate agent, “Glengarry Glen Ross”-style) who would have tried to scam some money off the top in order to build a mausoleum shaped like the Louvre (those ideas don’t just come to famous people, you know) and would have ended up in a minimum-security facility.
