SALON

Monday, Apr 4, 2011 10:10 PM UTC

When your man won’t cuddle

...there's the "My After Sex Buddy," a new novelty item designed after an old gender stereotype

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Topics: Sex, Gender, Gender Roles,

When your man won't cuddle

If a man denies you post-coital cuddling, you could have an adult conversation about his aversion to physical affection or find a more sensitive suitor. But if you prefer the passive-aggressive approach, you’re in luck: Meet the My After Sex Buddy! He’s a $19.99 plush toy birthed by that undying sex stereotype: Men have sex for pleasure; women have sex for love. This knickers-clad mini man is not to be confused with the Japanese version, the “Boyfriend Arm Pillow,” which is shaped like a man’s arm and chest, and similarly designed for sad, lonely ladies.

To be sure, “My After Sex Buddy” is a jokey adult novelty item. It’s ideal as the companion to the classic bachelor party gift that is designed to scream, “Too bad you’re never getting laid again” — instead it tells a bride-to-be, “Too bad you’re never getting cuddled again!” (As the website points out, “penis pasta is so 1990′s.”) Laughable as it may be, its creators went so far as to make it microwaveable and capable of simulating the warmth and comfort of an actual human being. So, should a woman choose to take the toy seriously, she could nuke this sucker in the kitchen and then resentfully return to bed with her stand-in man.

The website dubiously tries to expand its potential usefulness by also marketing it as a way to spark “discussion between partners about their feelings about sex.” You know, you buy the little bugger and laugh to your boyfriend/fiancé/husband, “Maybe he can fulfill my needs, humph!” It’s just another wry salvo in the purported war between the sexes — the sort designed to resolve nothing and keep the battle going. On that note, c’mere — I think we could all use a big hug.

Tracy Clark-Flory

Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter and Facebook. More Tracy Clark-Flory.

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