Wow, didn’t see that one coming: Bill Cosby went on “Today” for a brief segment this morning just to express his total lack of respect for Donald Trump’s faux-presidential bid. It was awesome. Bill doesn’t even express a political ideology, his argument is that Donald is being a little wiener by not announcing whether or not he is running while “The Apprentice” is still on.
“You run, or you shut up,” said a man who, up until now, I mostly respected for his sweater collection. I didn’t even know Bill Cosby could get this upset, but it is a righteous and awesome anger.
Then again, this is Bill Cosby we’re talking about, so he managed to sneak in a little Smothers Brothers/Pat Paulson reference for all the folks back home who remember who those guys are.
Is there a way we can convince the 73-year-old to run under the “Donald Trump is Full Of It” campaign?
Donald Trump announced yesterday that he would no longer moderate of the upcoming Newsmax Republican debate, thus ending weeks of back-and-forth that saw every candidate except Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum withdraw from the event. Of course, Trump didn’t quit because his presence at the debate risked descending it into some sort of bizarre media sideshow — no, no — but because he refused to rule out a third-party run for president. Right.
OK, sure, we all probably could have predicted all this from a mile away, but it took Stephen Colbert to weigh in on the development with the poetry of the Donald himself:
Folks, I would be lying if I didn’t say I saw this coming. Donald Trump is a friend. He’s my best friend. Number one best, greatest friend of all time. We race yachts. We trade mistresses. I call him “Trump Card.” He calls me “Cold Beer.” That said, the guy is a boob. He looks like a tangelo had sex with an old dishrag. And I can say that because I love this man. And to honor the memory of Trump mattering, it is more important than ever that tonight I reannounce my Stephen Colbert’s South Carolina Serious Classy Republican Debate.
With less than a month until the Iowa caucuses, the race for the Republican nomination is finally headed to the voting booth, where rank-and-file party members will make the choice, presumably between Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich. The stakes never higher, serious Republicans no doubt hoped that the theatrics that characterized the early stretches of the nominating process would recede into the background. Unfortunately for them, Donald Trump has gotten himself a debate.
Predictably, establishment conservatives like George Will and Karl Rove are incensed at the prospect of a Trump-moderated debate. Stephen Colbert, meanwhile, has his own bone to pick with the hotel tycoon, and last night he dusted off his best Donald impression to do it:
The point is: Forget Donald Trump. He’s history, rolled in “forget him,” smothered in a yesterday sauce. Tomorrow is about me, the most famous man in the history of South Carolina. The GOP wants a serious debate? They deserve it. Bar none, they’re the best party in the world. That includes space. That is why, as of this moment, I am officially announcing my own Republican debate: Stephen Colbert’s Serious, Classy, South Carolina Republican Debate. I am doing this.
Newsmax, a nutritional supplement sales organization and expensive email list with a right-wing news website attached, is hosting a Republican presidential debate, “moderated” by fictional television clown tycoon Donald Trump, set to air on a television channel you probably don’t actually know you have that spends most of the broadcast day airing paid programming. Historical fiction author Newt Gingrich — a disgraced serial adulterer with a still-unexplained $500,000 credit line at Tiffany and Co. who is also for some reason the current frontrunner for the party’s nomination — could not be happier. For some crazy reason, Republican campaign strategist Karl Rove is not particularly thrilled with all of this.
Rove, see, is operating from the outmoded idea that the Republican party should attempt to appeal to anyone not currently already old, angry, and skeptical of the president’s citizenship. From Karl Rove’s perspective, a man universally regarded as an unserious ass should not be hosting a major party’s presidential candidates and then selecting one of them, reality show-style, as his endorsee, live on television. For Rove, the fact that polls show associating with Trump is a net negative even among GOP voters is worrying, and not, as it is for the rest of us, hilarious.
“More importantly, what the heck are the Republican candidates doing showing up at a debate [whose moderator] says, ‘I may run for president next year as an Independent’? I think the Republican National [Committee] chairman [Reince Priebus] should step in and say, ‘We strongly discourage every candidate from appearing in a debate moderated by somebody who’s gonna run for president,’ ” he said.
Hah, so Trump is unacceptable because… he might pretend to run for president again, and not because he’s an idiotic unrepentant birther who constantly uses barely veiled racist tropes to criticize the president. Just checking!
Though the day Karl Rove objects to a Republican candidate for attempting to drum up support with bigoted dog-whistles is the day Rove accuses someone else of being incapable of feeling shame.
The point is that while everyone else is out, in glorious free market fashion, solely to make a buck (Trump has a book out! Newt has eight books out!), Rove is interested in the state of the party, and he would like to perhaps help the party to win some elections next year. The problem for him, right now, is that the actual people in his party seem to strongly prefer charlatans to proper candidates. Poor Karl Rove! The permanent Republican majority is basically becoming an angry elderly minority, convinced that it represents 100 percent of the only America that should count. (Which is not to say that this angry minority doesn’t have a good shot at taking both houses of Congress and the White House next year, so Rove should relax and continue raising hundreds of millions of dollars in anonymous money.)
Oft-bankrupt former fake presidential candidate and television clown Donald Trump announced on “Fox and Friends” this morning that he is very close to announcing his presidential endorsement. I am guessing he won’t pick Jon Huntsman.
Trump still has a regular Monday morning “Fox & Friends” call-in deal? I guess Fox can overlook a regular guest being a loyal employee of a rival media conglomerate — Trump abandoned his publicity stunt presidential campaign when NBC threatened to find a new “Apprentice” host, remember — as long as they’re willing to spout birtherist bullshit on live television.
So Trump, who badly damaged his “lovable mogul” brand with his divisive and humiliating fake campaign, will now (or in a month or so) parasitically attach himself to a presidential candidate, in order to flatter Trump’s sense of himself as an important kingmaker, a delusion that has been enabled by Romney and Perry and Bachmann and Cain actually meeting with him. I’m guessing Trump will endorse whomever is polling best next month.
Will the press (the non-Fox press) mention Trump’s noxious, racist birtherism, should the recipient of the Trump endorsement gratefully accept the Trump nod with a joint appearance? I am not holding my breath.
In this photo taken April 25, 2011, Donald Trump is interviewed in New York. After months of flirting with politics, Trump said Monday, May 16, 2011, that he won't run for president, choosing to stick with hosting "The Celebrity Apprentice" over entering the race for the Republican nomination. (AP Photo/Richard Drew) (Credit: AP)
It seems Donald Trump’s much-hyped flirtations with a presidential bid (birtherism and all) has only made him more valuable in the eyes of NBC Universal executives.
The New York Post reports that NBC has offered Trump and his “Apprentice” co-producer, Mark Burnett, an unprecedented $160 million contract for two more years of “The Celebrity Apprentice.”
A source tells the Post that Trump will “personally pocket $65 million a year” from the lucrative deal; the paper adds that the contract will make Trump “the highest-paid reality-TV star, eclipsing the ‘American Idol’ judges and the Kardashian clan.”
Under the new arrangement, Trump will earn more than 150 times the presidential salary of $400,000. Apparently, he wasn’t kidding when he told ABC News in May that he wasn’t “ready to leave the private sector”!