2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Let’s call it right now: The 2012 race is over. Gary Busey has officially endorsed Donald Trump for president, and with the critical “Busey-heads” swing vote accounted for, Obama shouldn’t even bother running. Here’s Gary, from the press conference he held in his bed today.
I’m sorry, did he just say Trump stands for:
OK, just checking.
I guess this counts as the “official” endorsement, because two weeks ago when he was on Leno, Busey was also telling America to vote for Donald. And that was before he was voted off “Celebrity Apprentice”!
It is weird that Busey would bring up “Nany Pelosi stripping in Orlando,” because everyone knows of that weird loophole in our Constitution that makes it so you can’t make any derogatory remarks about a female politician for at least 90 days after TMZ puts up a video of you trying to pole dance.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.