This week we're on the fence about Steve Carell as Harvey Milk, Seinfeld vs. Trump, and all those pregnancies!
OK, now that the Prince William has married Kate Middleton, he gets to be Duke of Cambridge? How does that work? A prince can be a duke? And a regular woman becomes a princess becomes a duchess? So confused! Oh wait, the wedding is over, I can stop pretending to be interested in the British caste system. Hurray! Here is everything else that happened this week that fell between “totally awful” and “adequate,” but which we ignored completely:
1. At least one little girl is as over this royal wedding B.S. as we are: Grace Van Cutsem, or “the frowning flower girl,” who we have on good authority is a terror, but fits right at home in memeville.
2. Finding out that Steve Carell could have played Harvey Milk in “Milk”: Wow, America really dodged a bullet on that one. Or alternatively, missed a way better movie.
4. Scientists have found that hooking your brain up to a 9-volt battery and letting the surge wash through makes you smarter: Well, if it works for a 9-volt, anyone want to try a car battery? Genius!
5. Conan’s “Thor” trailers: Simply incredible. So glad they finally managed to get this stuff from TBS to YouTube. Now, if you don’t mind, I have to go watch “Thor.”
6. January Jones is pregnant: Hopefully the baby will have its mother’s looks and Jason Sudeikis’ personality. Yes, I know he might not be the father. That’s why I’m hoping.
7. Angelina from “Jersey Shore” is also pregnant: Well, maybe this kid will also have Jason Sudeikis’ personality. Couldn’t hurt.
8. The hats of the royal wedding: OK, there was one part of this whole pomp and circumstance that we found interesting.
9. Jerry Seinfeld and Donald Trump still going at each other: On the one hand, people need to stop responding to Trump. On the other, if anyone is going to do it, it might as well be someone as articulate and funny as Jerry.
10. Ooh, new trailer for “Transformers”:
“Dark Side of the Moon?” Never thought of Decepticons as giant Pink Floyd fans, but I guess haven’t put as much thought into this as Michael Bay.
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Lisa Montgomery embraces her nephew Thursday after a tornado tore apart her home in Cleburne, Texas. The twister killed six people and destroyed entire swaths of the North Texas town.
Credit: AP/LM Otero
Jack McMahon, the defense attorney for abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell, speaks outside the Criminal Justice Center in Philadelphia Tuesday. His client was convicted of killing three babies in his clinic, and will serve multiple life sentences.
Credit: AP/Matt Rourke
A photo taken Monday captures Vice President Joe Biden's response to a Milwaukee second-grader's innovative proposal to end America's epidemic of gun violence. This guy!
Credit: AP/Jenny Aicher
Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., flanked by a grouper-eyed Michele Bachmann, addresses the IRS' admission that it targeted Tea Party groups in advance of the 2012 election. In an op-ed for CNN Thursday, the Kentucky senator slammed the president for his faux outrage.
Credit: AP/Molly Riley
Ousted IRS chief Steven Miller is sworn in on Capitol Hill Friday. Miller testified before the House Ways and Means Committee on the extra scrutiny the agency gave conservative groups applying for tax-exempt status.
Credit: AP/J. Scott Applewhite
Attorney General Eric Holder pauses as he testifies on Capitol Hill before the House Judiciary Committee Wednesday. Holder is under fire, among other things, for the Justice Department's gathering of phone records at the Associated Press.
Credit: AP/Carolyn Kaster
O.J. Simpson sits during an evidentiary hearing at Clark County District Court in Las Vegas, Nev., Thursday. Simpson, who is currently serving a nine-to-33-year sentence in state prison for armed robbery and kidnapping, is using a writ of habeas corpus to seek a new trial.
Credit: AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal/Jeff Scheid
Major Tom to ground control: On Sunday astronaut Chris Hadfield recorded the first music video from space, a cover of David Bowie's "Space Oddity."
Credit: AP/NASA/Chris Hadfield
When it rains it pours. President Barack Obama speaks during a news conference Thursday with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, inexplicably inspiring an #umbrellagate Twitter meme.
Credit: AP/Jacquelyn Martin
A smoke plume rises high above a road block at the intersection of County A and Ross Road east of Solon Springs, Wis., Tuesday. No injuries were reported, but the the wildfire caused evacuations across northwestern Wisconsin.
Credit: AP/The Duluth News-Tribune/Clint Austin
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