2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Tyler Perry is something of a divisive figure. We’ve already seen Spike Lee decimate Perry in the pair’s ongoing feud, and it’s a well-documented fact that audiences of Tyler’s extremely popular Madea series don’t give a crap what Spike Lee thinks of the “coonery buffoonery.”
Last night, “South Park” gave Perry a long-awaited noogie when he showed up to accept at the school’s comedy awards show. (Called “The Kathy Griffin Awards” – how I wish those really existed.)
Perry continues to pop up throughout the episode, and Token Black (the only African-American “South Park” kid) continues to laugh before stopping himself in self-loathing. Even Obama isn’t exempt from the “South Park” stereotype of every black person loving Perry. “I know it’s embarrassing, but I simply can’t help myself,” says the president.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.