2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
The “American Federation for Children” — a right-wing “education reform” organization founded and funded by religious right activist multimillionaire Betsy DeVos (former Republican candidate for governor of Michigan and sister of Blackwater founder Eirk Prince) and dedicated to electing state legislators who’ll fund Christian schools with taxpayer money and crush public employees’ unions — is having a party in Washington, D.C., today, and they have invited Republican governors who have been working to fix education forever by firing all the greedy teachers and letting profit-seeking private interests manage the schools more “efficiently.”
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker and Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett are two of the honored guests of the Federation. The third, of course, is crusading former D.C. schools chancellor Michelle Rhee, movie star and hero of the Democratic elite. Rhee’s address at the “policy summit” will probably not detail how to cover up evidence of widespread standardized test cheating, but it should.
There are various people protesting the event.
If I were there, I’d just be protesting the fact that the American Federation for Children didn’t invite Cathie Black, my personal favorite representative of the school reform movement.
Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @pareeneMore Alex Pareene.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.