But there’s something especially compelling about seeing a child grow up, because it happens all the time right under our hurried noses. “Lotte” undoubtedly is, as the commenters on Vimeo attest, a “beautiful” and “amazing” clip, but because she’s an idealized series of moments, she’s also a reminder of why people love to tell parents that “it goes by so fast.” You know the ones. They gaze enviously at an infant in a mother’s arms or a child clutching her father’s hand trustfully as they cross the street, and they sigh, with a touch of warning in their voices, “Enjoy it now.”

These, by the way, are usually men and women long out of the active child-rearing years themselves, who’ve forgotten how brutally long the nights with a colicky baby can be or how interminable a trip to the American Girl store is, who have a distance of time between themselves and the long hours it takes to assemble a dream house or chaperone an out-of-control field trip. And the frantic, agonizing, endless space between losing track of a child at the park and spotting her again, skipping carelessly toward you? A distant memory to them. Those people sentimentalize the guts and grit and drudgery of it all, replacing it with a highlight reel of blown-out birthday candles and naps in your lap and picnics on cloudless summer days.

Hofmeester’s portrait is a lovely accomplishment, but it’s a compression of just a few seconds of each week of his daughter’s life – weeks that were no doubt full of scraped knees and stomach flu and tantrums and amazing, joyful experiences. Growing up doesn’t occur in front of a white background in two minutes and 45 seconds. It isn’t always easy or pretty, or set to nice music. And it does not go by so fast at all. But if you’re lucky, that time is meaningful and memorable and savored. If you’re lucky, it goes by just quickly enough to make a childhood.

But the money shot, when it comes, is golden. Obama appears very briefly as a talking-head interview subject, talking about the killing of Osama bin Laden — which is framed, right around the three-quarter mark, as the signal accomplishment of the president’s first term. Everybody always wants to know how he felt when he knew for sure that bin Laden was dead, Obama says, but he allowed himself no time for satisfaction or gloating. “Our guys were still in that compound,” he says, and he couldn’t relax until he knew that “everybody was accounted for, including the dog.” (By the way, what dog? Was this known?) Then comes the smile, the big, brilliant, sneaky, I’m-your-cool-friend-and-the-leader-of-the-free-world smile. He kills sinister Arab villains and rescues doggies! Boom — reelected.

OK, it’s undoubtedly not that simple, largely because there’s no telling how many people will actually watch “The Road We’ve Traveled,” and because wishing for a viral-video hit is not the same thing as creating one. But Guggenheim has crafted a compelling and superficially convincing narrative out of the Obama administration’s three years, turning its real-life history of infighting, indecision and political stagnation into a tale of unprecedented courage and risk-taking.

As Tom Hanks, the film’s narrator, intones in describing the Osama attack (over black-and-white still photos of Obama gazing at the World Trade Center memorial and attending 9/11 commemorations), “It was the ultimate test of leadership, a victory for our nation. There would be many others.” Indeed there would. Drone attacks that killed numerous civilians in dusty, faraway places; the assassination of United States citizens without any semblance of due process; an obsession with secrecy and clandestine warfare that make Dick Cheney’s trip to the “dark side” look like a Goth girl’s dorm-room poster. None of those things is specifically mentioned in “The Road We’ve Traveled,” of course, but — wait, did you hear about the puppy!

Salon’s Glenn Greenwald recently (and amusingly) mocked Guggenheim for going on TV with Piers Morgan and failing to come up with one negative thing to say about the president. I’m not sure what he expected: Guggenheim is a highly skilled hired hand, a message-massager whose task is to blend craft and ideology so smoothly that they come to resemble art. He does not make a living by being frank, or by having opinions of his own. He turned a slide show hosted by a famously dull former politician into an Oscar-winning documentary, and tried to repeat that success with “Waiting for ‘Superman,’” which was basically a veiled infomercial for the charter-school industry. On balance, I would say that “The Road We’ve Traveled” is more honest than that film was; it never hides its agenda or feigns a disinterested perspective.

“The Road We’ve Traveled” is conspicuously aimed at middle-class, largely white and politically moderate voters, both Democrats and independents. These are precisely the people who broke decisively for Obama in 2008, of course, and whom he now needs to lure back. The tone is largely nonpartisan and non-ideological, although the plastic orange mug of House Speaker John Boehner makes a few comic-book-villain appearances. (Nancy Pelosi, who was speaker during Obama’s first two years, is never seen or heard from.) Mitt Romney’s name appears once, as the author of that infamous “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt” Op-Ed in the New York Times. (That whole thing about tying the barfing dog to the roof of the car? That really does define the guy’s character, doesn’t it? Come to think of it, is Obama’s thing with the dog meant to remind us of that?) Still, certain assumptions are clear: The target audience favors universal healthcare, and is basically OK with public-sector unions, equal pay for women and equal rights for gays.

Guggenheim takes on two apparently disparate tasks in this video, and effortlessly blends them together. The first one is to argue that everything you might have thought was a failing of the Obama administration — the crap economy, the half-assed healthcare bill, the dragged-out and inconclusive overseas wars — is actually not just a strength but a historic triumph. “Not since the days of Franklin Roosevelt,” says Hanks somberly, “had so much fallen on the shoulders of one president.” (An ambiguous, non-provable claim, to be sure, but it might be true.) There’s an undeniably defensive quality to the first several minutes, as a parade of expert witnesses — David Axelrod, Rahm Emanuel, Austan Goolsbee, Bill Clinton — reflect on the atrocious economic situation that faced the incoming president in 2009, and on his immediate and decisive actions to set things to rights. If it looked more like hapless floundering and Wall Street toadying at the time, they all seem to imply, it’s because you weren’t paying attention.

The corollary task is to create an inspirational and almost abstract montage that imbues the Obama presidency with a sense of historic purpose and direction. This pays tribute, as every reelection campaign must, to the 1984 “Morning in America” Ronald Reagan ad, still a masterwork of this lightweight-Leni Riefenstahl genre. Hanks’ script does not actually include that commercial’s famous closer — “Why would we ever want to return to where we were, less than four short years ago?” — but that’s the unspoken premise of the entire thing.

“The Road We’ve Traveled” does not convey anywhere near the brimming confidence of Reagan’s history-making ad, nor should it. Clear away its splendiferous smoke and mirrors, and Guggenheim’s video depicts a reelection campaign poised partway between desperation and optimism, between collective self-delusion and a sense that genuine accomplishments might still be possible. At least as seen in this movie, Barack Obama the candidate holds two genuine trump cards and an ace in the hole. (I’m not even counting the doggie successfully airlifted out of Pakistan, or the fact that Obama’s likely opponent is incredibly rich, universally disliked, and practices a minority religion most Americans find weirder than Islam.) He knocked off the world’s No. 1 supervillain, and the economy has at last begun to look a little better. If that’s not enough, he’s also eager to remind you that, no matter how many things he has screwed up in an abysmal and depressing four years, the entire world doesn’t think he’s a total idiot like that last guy was.

Nyan cat

As if to answer the question, “Is there anything more hypnotically odd than Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’?” along came the glorious, three-and-a-half-minute endurance test known as Nyan cat. With its inspiring “Nyanyanyanyanyanyanya!” lyrics and its gif of a smiling half-kitty, half-Pop Tart with a rainbow soaring out its butt, Nyan cat made absolutely zero sense. It has been viewed nearly 55 million times. Peanut Butter Jelly Time and Ooga Chaka Baby, make room on the dance floor.

Cat mom hugs baby kitten

Exactly what it says it says. It’s pretty simple. And if this doesn’t make you squee at the 33-second mark, you’re dead inside. I’m sorry your mother didn’t love you.

eHarmony video bio

OK, so “Debbie” wasn’t real. The fact that she openly posts on YouTube and Twitter as Cara Hartmann was kind of a tipoff. The fact eHarmony itself got into the act after she went viral, noting that they don’t even do video personals, was another. But there was something about the crazy cat lady’s two-and-a-half-minute monologue – the way it went from shy and flirty to a tearful, “I know I can’t hug every cat!” confession that rang familiar alarm bells with every person who’s ever had the spooky realization, “I am trapped on a date with a lunatic.” Which is every person. Oh, Debbie, we want to be on a rainbow with you, too.

Men in uniform

U.C. Davis protesters pepper-sprayed

When Lt. John Pike cavalierly aimed his can of pepper spray at a peaceful chain of protesters at the University of California, Davis, back in November, his image became an instantly appropriated meme. But though there’s plenty of room for parody to be found in a still photograph, it was the video of Pike and his cohorts, dousing students over the howls of the crowd, that became a turning point in the Occupy movement — and a stunning reminder of what abuse of power looks like.

Telling my dad that I am gay – LIVE

In the year’s most riveting coming-out story, 21-year-old Randy Phillips placed a late-night call to his father from his Air Force base in Germany. “I’m as nervous as I can ever remember being,” Phillips said. “He has no clue.” And then, after insisting his father confirm his love for him, Phillips told him he’s gay. And when his father, half a world away, replied, “I still love you, son … It doesn’t change our relationship, you hear me?” it was a tear-jerking testament to the bonds of family, and the beauty of acceptance.

Babies!

Talking twins

In an impossibly cute clip, a cheerful pair of brothers show off their mismatched socks, trade flailing hand gestures, and, amazingly, babble back and forth in what looks more like a more meaningful conversation than any episode of “Fox and Friends” that has ever aired. In addition to being shamelessly delightful, the video lent itself easily to colorful translations of their conversation and reimaginings of the boys in their later years. Anything that can get Michael Chiklis is a diaper wins.

Emerson

There were many cute babies this year. But only one channeled the Jessie Spano “I’m so excited, I’m so scared” gamut of emotions like little scene-stealer Emerson. Watch as he goes from terror to hilarity, again and again, as mom blows her nose. One minute of compelling evidence for why people keep having babies – because they’re so goddamn funny.

Strange creatures

Honey Badger

“This,” our narrator explains flamboyantly, “is the honey badger.” And in a clip from the kind of nature special that might get people to actually watch PBS, the “pretty bad-ass” creature goes on to demonstrate his aptitude for not “giving a shit.” Sure, it’s all as ridiculous as turning down the volume and providing your own commentary for any National Geographic opus, but Honey Badger and his sassy narrator Randall nevertheless became heroes of our time. Charlie Sheen only wishes he was such a “nasty crazy-ass.”

Marcel the shell with shoes on

What’s cuter than Zooey Deschanel, but without the side effect of making you want to punch a wall? Marcel, we missed you so. Voiced again by the pitch-perfect Jenny Slate, the world-weary yet hopeful Marcel expounded on the merits of a piece of bread as a bed, the hazards of traveling by bug (“You’re only going to go where the bug wants to go”) — and somehow managed to be winsome without being all Brooklyn about it. Why do we love Marcel? Uh, ’cause it’s worth it.

And the rest

Ted Williams

He was a panhandler on an Ohio freeway, brandishing a sign that read, “I have a God given gift of voice.” And when the Columbus Dispatch’s Doral Chenoweth III pulled over one day to ask for his story, an unlikely, golden-throated viral star emerged. Instantly, the former voice-over artist – who’d fallen in recent years into “alcohol and drugs and other things” – was fielding lucrative job offers. It was an apparent feel-good redemption story, sullied only by the reality that Williams was not quite prepared for sudden fame and success. He went in and out of different rehab clinics. The Cavaliers withdrew their offer to be their announcer. But today, Williams is the voice of New England Cable News and says he’s been sober since May. It’s not quite as spectacular as the morning he opened the “Today” show, but it’s still a long way from the streets he roamed just a year ago.

Friday

Appalling. Amateurish. And God help us, inescapable. When 13-year-old Rebecca Black’s parents granted her wish to make a music video, little could they have imagined it would become the most watched clip in YouTube history. (Trololo man is still getting over the defeat.)  It launched a gazillion parodies, secured Black the patronage of Katy Perry, cleared up any confusion over where Thursday and Saturday fit in the scheme of things, and most of all, became the end of the week anthem that will never die. When someday your grandchildren are singing of “fun, fun,” tell them where you were the moment you followed a fateful link from a friend that said, “WTF is this?”

Honorable mentions to Jorge & Alexa Narvaez’s Magnetic Zeroes cover, the Greatest Marriage Proposal Ever, Jack Sparrow, the HMS sailors’ “All I Want for Christmas,” Shit Girls Say, Volkswagen’s “The Force” and Rick Perry’s inadvertently hilarious Strong.

The post might have gone unnoticed as mere Facebook-troll blather had the Tea Partyer not been elected mayor last month. It didn’t take long for the Keep Troy Strong blog to point out the incendiary post, and for Daniels to delete it. She then issued a mealy-mouthed apology, stating that though “I do believe marriage should be between one man and one woman, it was inappropriate to use that language.” She further explained that “It was meant to be a joke, silly, a funny thing.” Of course, the month before, the mayor explained how she wants to use her new job to “promote the healthy aspects of society,” including “intact families.” “Intact” — apparently as long as they’re not “same sex.”

Daniels’ comments led to demands for her resignation, admonition from residents who called her remarks “embarrassing” and “hurtful.” But it was Michigan resident Amy Weber who really schooled Daniels – and all the other bigots out there – when she stood up last week with her wife, Tina, and two daughters to address the mayor at a city council meeting. “I always like to think of challenges like this as opportunities to grow,” she said, introducing her children to the assembly. Weber went on to explain that in her family, “We talk every day about different families and different types of people, and teaching respect and kindness. That is the heart that beats in our home. It’s about being kind, about choosing love over everything.” She then showed drawings that the girls had done for Daniels with the words “love” on them. Weber even added, “I would love to see you at the next gay pride parade, leading the march, saying … these are my brothers and sisters just like everybody else.”

It was a straightforward and profoundly moving moment, one that breaks this thing issue down to its most basic element — the rights of American citizens to just plain love each other. And because the children weren’t prodded to speak, the testimony lacked the reluctant awkwardness of Michele Bachmann’s recent run-in with an 8-year-old who mumbled, “My mommy’s gay but she doesn’t need any fixing.”  Instead, it was a sincere and compelling call to basic human decency. Coming on the heels of Rick Perry’s absurd (and widely derided) anti-gay spot and Mitt Romney’s smackdown from a 63-year-old gay Vietnam veteran who coolly told him, “You have to look a man in the eye to get a good answer. And you know what, Governor? Good luck. You’re going to need it” — maybe it’s not such a great week to be a homophobic gasbag.

Given Daniels’ “God-fearing love for this country,” it’s hard to be optimistic that Amy Weber’s plea for open-mindedness will fall on receptive ears. But every time gay men and women — and their friends and families — come forward and confront small-minded politicians with eloquence and dignity, it makes it harder for the voices of division and intolerance to cavalierly spew their bile and get away with it. Those “queers” and their loved ones so easily dismissed on Facebook are your neighbors. Adjust your mouth accordingly. And “joke” though Daniels’ comment may have been, it’s nevertheless unfortunate that New York’s acceptance of same-sex marriage has made the mayor of Troy decide she can no longer “love” the state. Because as Amy Weber understands, it’s not fear, not ignorance and certainly not hate that move us forward. “In the end, love is all that matters,” she told Daniels. “No matter what you’re doing in life, if you can look at it through the lens of love, you will do the right thing.”

To Perry’s credit, he does manage to get through the entire 30 seconds without once losing his train of thought or laughing like he’s auditioning to be the villain in the next Muppets movie. Sure, he comes off like a man whose barrel is full of bullet-riddled fish when he declares he’s not ashamed to be a Christian. The Republican presidential field is otherwise littered with Muslims, Jews and atheists, I guess.

What Perry can’t do, however, is prove his mind makes logical associations – something that’s a pretty important qualification for our nation’s highest office. Perry’s prickly disdain for men and women who are serving their country would, by itself, be hateful and ignorant. But his assertion that there’s a “war on religion” interfering with Christmas celebrations? If kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas, I hope nobody tells all the tykes waiting to see Santa at the mall. But it’s that combination of those two vastly unrelated ideas that really makes the “Strong” clip pure gold. Is Perry somehow suggesting that if we can just push  homosexuals back into the closet, we can then teach how Jesus fought the dinosaurs in the public schools? OK, you gays openly serving in the military! President Perry is going to mind-wipe everyone you’ve come out to! And then he’s going to put a Nativity scene in every classroom! Because that’s what the Founding Fathers would have wanted.

Excuse me, I have to go wipe these copious tears of derisive laughter off my cheeks.

It didn’t take long for Perry’s video – as brilliantly painful a piece of performance art as any of Katie Roiphe’s recent Slate columns – to become a viral sensation. It’s racked up nearly 3 million YouTube views. And though the campaign has disabled comments – no doubt in anticipation of a more critical response – on Friday the video was heading toward a half-million “dislikes,” a new YouTube record. The newly unseated “dislikes” champion, Rebecca Black, also owes someone an Edible Arrangement today.

Meanwhile, over on Facebook, Perry’s official page has drowned in thousands of comments, mostly expressing disdain. “Sure, I’ll share it,” wrote one woman. “I want EVERYONE to see ‘How to sink a campaign in 30 seconds or less.’” My personal favorite is from the person who congratulates Perry “on making Ron Paul the sane one.”

Elsewhere on the Internet, the Tumblr of Perry’s “unpopular opinions” and a cavalcade of parody videos have sprung up with the inevitability of hairy chests at a bears convention. Second City’s Andy Cobb was quick with a look-alike clip, noting that “The gay and atheist presidents didn’t get us into the war in Iraq, the financial crisis or turn your mortgage into toilet paper. It took some God-fearing vagina penetrators to do that.”

It’s likely we can enjoy the dreadfulness of Perry’s video – even as it disgusts us – because it’s evident his campaign is now as worthless as your 401K. There’s a degree of safety in this gasbag’s harmlessness, kind of like your racist uncle’s Thanksgiving rants. Offensive? Yeah. Effective? Uh, no. Yet even as we point and laugh — repeatedly — it’s sobering to remember that the sentiments Perry awkwardly expresses aren’t just the ramblings of one demented Texan. The guy did manage to get relatively far in American politics with Jesus and homophobia by his side. And though the outpouring of giddy contempt for his incompetence is encouraging, just imagine – had he been a more coherent candidate, that over the top “Strong” ad wouldn’t be funny at all.