Like little stars.
This is the first week it’s really felt like summer. You know: the unbearable heat, the freezing cold of the air-conditioners in your office, the smell of Anthony Weiner cooking over an open flame. (Sorry.) In this muggy weather, it’s hard to know exactly how you feel about a certain piece of culture news until you get a couple of days distance from it. That’s why we’re here to help.
1. Kim Kardashian’s alleged infidelity: She’s trying to sue In Touch magazine for saying she had an affair with New England Patriots’ Bret Lockett while dating her now-fiancé, Kris Humphries. Guess we’ll have to wait till the twitpics come out to know the truth.
2. Edie Falco not knowing who Kim Kardashian even is: To be fair to Kim, she probably doesn’t know who the “Nurse Jackie” star is, either.
3. Louis C.K.’s stand-up routine from 1987 surfaces: He had hair! And it was really, really awkward. We prefer the Louis of today to the one making dolphin noises.
4. The (verb) of (proper noun), creator of Mad Libs, makes me (adjective): That’s not in poor taste, by the way. That’s my memorial to Leonard Stern, who passed away at 88 as an Emmy Award-winner and great game-creator. Of course, the New York Times has a much better tribute, so read that as well.
6. Sacha Baron Cohen as Saddam Hussein in a new “biopic”: The movie is called “The Dictator” and apparently it’s based on a book Saddam wrote called “Zabibah and the King.” What, Sacha, didn’t have enough time to come up with a mockumentary about Osama?
7. The best/worst dating video of all time: Debbie likes cats and soul mates!
Don’t worry, it’s a fake, in case you were feeling bad for laughing.
8. Zach Galifianakis sans beard is pretty hot: He pulled off this look back in 2002 as well:
He kind of looks like Peter Sarsgaard. Right??
9. “Big Fish” optioned for Broadway: Completing that perfect trajectory of short story, to Tim Burton movie, to musical that Julie Taymor will be begging people to let her direct.
10. Jack White and model Karen Elson send out invitations to their “divorce party”: Well, that’s one way to break it to the kids.
Like little stars.
World's best pie apple. Essential for Tarte Tatin. Has five prominent ribs.
So pretty. So early. So ephemeral. Tastes like strawberry candy (slightly).
My personal fave. Ultra-crisp. Graham cracker flavor. Should be famous. Isn't.
High flavored with notes of blood orange and allspice. Very rare.
Jefferson's favorite. The best all-purpose American apple.
New Hampshire's native son has a grizzled appearance and a strangely addictive curry flavor. Very, very rare.
Makes the best hard cider in America. Soon to be famous.
Freak seedling found in an Oregon field in the '60s has pink flesh and a fragrant strawberry snap. Makes a killer rose cider.
Ben Franklin's favorite. Queen Victoria's favorite. Only apple native to NYC.
Really does taste like pineapple.