2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
J.K. Rowling has some very big news! Of course, you’re going to have to wait a week before finding out what the “Harry Potter” author has to say, but that doesn’t mean that her fans didn’t get all lathered up in geek oils today when 10 H.P. sites were sent special coordinates that ended up spelling out “POTTERMORE” on Google Maps. Neeeeeerds!
Go to Pottermore.com, and you can see that there isn’t much going on. I mean, the name is super-exciting, don’t get me wrong, but for right now the site is just owls that are exactly what they appear. Click on J.K.’s scrawling signature, and you are transported to the world’s most boring YouTube video ever: a countdown clock of the amount of time left before J.K. lets us in on her big announcement.
Seeing as the final “Harry Potter” installment is due out in a month, now would be the perfect time for J.K. to start drumming up buzz on her next project. Though I had hoped she would go in a different direction and try to branch out, it seems like we’re going to be seeing some “more Potter,” unless that anagram happens to just be a coincidence.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.