2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
1. Kirstie Alley is not happy with David Letterman: Although there’s no love lost between Kirstie Alley and Salon, it’s kind of fun to watch the talk show host squirm while she reads Letterman back some of the fat jokes he’s made about her.
2. Bill Nye the Science Guy on Fox News: Nye just cannot believe what this one anchor is saying about the non-existence of climate change. “Uh, volcanoes are not connected to the burning of fossil fuels.”
Also: “When you say to yourself, ‘I’m going to ignore climate change,’ you’re saying, ‘I’m going to ignore the best ideas that anybody’s ever had.’ Which is science.” BOOM!
3. Big Boi forced to explain jeggings in a foreign land: Half of Outkast is very confused about why this Nordic dude is wearing jean leggings. We’re just confused about what is going on.
4. Andy Samberg gears up for Shark Week: How are we going to live every week? Like Andy Samberg is the chief shark officer of Shark Week.
5. Old Spice’s Battle Royale: Well, if it had to end, I’m glad it ended like this … with Fabio on the moon, holding a blue balloon.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.