This week we're on the fence about: Mister Rogers spin-offs, more Sarah Palin TV and terrible John Wayne analogies
TGIAugust, am I right guys? I cannot wait for summer to be over and for it to be cold again, because you know what they make children say in the Pledge of Allegiance: “Winter is coming.” While we’re still dealing with the warm weather, though, how about a roundup of all the cultural news that makes you feel like you just don’t know what to feel anymore?
1. Jesse Eisenberg in Dostoyevsky adaptation: It sounds crazy, but making “The Double” into a movie might actually be a good idea. Very Charlie Kaufmanesque. Maybe Michael Cera can play his doppleganger?
2. Connor Ratliff is old enough to be president: Well, I’m sold on this guy’s campaign. If only the rest of politics were this easy.
3. Requirements for Professor James Franco’s NYU class: Must be able to transfer poetry into film. Preferably poetry Dr. (he has a doctorate by now, right?) Franco wrote himself. And also he gets to direct the movie. And star in it. Everyone gets an A!
4. A Mister Rogers spin-off series?: “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” will feature the son of Roger’s puppet “Tiger,” as well as other beloved characters from the original PBS show. Except now they are all grown up, aren’t puppets and really have nothing to do with the original. You’d think PBS would pretend it came up with its own idea for a program, but I guess not.
5. Everything Sarah Palin touches gets its own spin-off show: First her hair salon, now this program called “H8R,” which involves pairing a celebrity with someone who despises them. This is what happens when network execs get together over a cocaine brunch and come up with a new idea, so on second thought, let’s stick to the Mr. Rogers’ show.
6. Nicki Minaj’s nip-slip on “Good Morning America”: I love when they call these things “wardrobe malfunctions.” As if your outfit was a robot suffering from circuit damage.
7. Doug Hutchison and child-bride ask America for money to “promote” themselves: You know what? I called this. Just give these awful people their own reality show already: You know that’s what this country really wants to see.
8. John Wayne’s grandson makes great analogies: Brendan Wayne on comparing Harrison Ford to his granddaddy: “It’s like comparing Kobe Bryant with Michael Jordan. It’s like saying, ‘Obama is our generation’s Washington.’ Just let him be Obama.” AND GIVE HIM BACK HIS FAMILY!
9. “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” garners rave reviews from critics: How is that humanely possible? Unless…the apes have already begun their infiltration of our society???? I for one, welcome our gorilla overlords.
10. The best of the week’s viral videos, explained: If you don’t know who Gabe and Max are, just be aware that they are very good at talking about the Internet, especially the part of the Web that involves dancing animals on YouTube.
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Lisa Montgomery embraces her nephew Thursday after a tornado tore apart her home in Cleburne, Texas. The twister killed six people and destroyed entire swaths of the North Texas town.
Credit: AP/LM Otero
Jack McMahon, the defense attorney for abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell, speaks outside the Criminal Justice Center in Philadelphia Tuesday. His client was convicted of killing three babies in his clinic, and will serve multiple life sentences.
Credit: AP/Matt Rourke
A photo taken Monday captures Vice President Joe Biden's response to a Milwaukee second-grader's innovative proposal to end America's epidemic of gun violence. This guy!
Credit: AP/Jenny Aicher
Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., flanked by a grouper-eyed Michele Bachmann, addresses the IRS' admission that it targeted Tea Party groups in advance of the 2012 election. In an op-ed for CNN Thursday, the Kentucky senator slammed the president for his faux outrage.
Credit: AP/Molly Riley
Ousted IRS chief Steven Miller is sworn in on Capitol Hill Friday. Miller testified before the House Ways and Means Committee on the extra scrutiny the agency gave conservative groups applying for tax-exempt status.
Credit: AP/J. Scott Applewhite
Attorney General Eric Holder pauses as he testifies on Capitol Hill before the House Judiciary Committee Wednesday. Holder is under fire, among other things, for the Justice Department's gathering of phone records at the Associated Press.
Credit: AP/Carolyn Kaster
O.J. Simpson sits during an evidentiary hearing at Clark County District Court in Las Vegas, Nev., Thursday. Simpson, who is currently serving a nine-to-33-year sentence in state prison for armed robbery and kidnapping, is using a writ of habeas corpus to seek a new trial.
Credit: AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal/Jeff Scheid
Major Tom to ground control: On Sunday astronaut Chris Hadfield recorded the first music video from space, a cover of David Bowie's "Space Oddity."
Credit: AP/NASA/Chris Hadfield
When it rains it pours. President Barack Obama speaks during a news conference Thursday with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, inexplicably inspiring an #umbrellagate Twitter meme.
Credit: AP/Jacquelyn Martin
A smoke plume rises high above a road block at the intersection of County A and Ross Road east of Solon Springs, Wis., Tuesday. No injuries were reported, but the the wildfire caused evacuations across northwestern Wisconsin.
Credit: AP/The Duluth News-Tribune/Clint Austin
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