The former Massachusetts governor sure hates those Ivy League career politicians, like himself
Mitt Romney constantly attacks Harvard, because Harvard is where girly intellectual egghead elitists go to college, while Real Men are plowing tractors or whatever one does on farms, until it is time to Go Fight in the War.
This week, Romney gave a foreign policy speech to some veterans, and he really gave Harvard what-for:
Chastising those who may believe that if the United States recedes, so, too, will its enemies, Romney bashed what is often seen as a liberal bastion.
“That may be what they think in that Harvard faculty lounge, but it’s not what they know on the battlefield!” he told the vets.
Of course, the Boston Globe and everyone else who knows even the slightest bit of biographical information about Mitt Romney realized that the former governor of Massachusetts is a Harvard alum. He went to Harvard Business and Harvard Law Schools.
Some people say it is a bit “hypocritical” or “transparently, desperately pathetic” of Romney to align himself with those who hate our nation’s Ivy League elite, but it’s really not. You see, Mitt Romney is actually just incredibly self-loathing. He clearly hates himself.
More evidence: Did Mitt Romney seriously think calling Rick Perry a “career politician” wouldn’t remind people of Romney’s status as the son of a prominent politician who’s been running for offices on-and-off since 1994? Or does Mitt Romney simply hate the fact that he’s a useless Harvard-educated career politician instead of something useful?
I can imagine future Mitt Romney attack lines:
Massachusetts is awful At some point Mitt Romney will surely accuse the president of having “Massachusetts values,” because Americans everywhere know that Massachusetts is full of Harvard-educated billionaire liberal elites, like former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney.
Rich people are the worst “I am sick of one set of rules for a bunch of millionaire fat-cats and another set of rules for regular Americans,” millionaire Mitt Romney will surely say, in another “attack” on GOP rival Rick Perry that is actually a peek into the tortured interior monologue that keeps Mitt Romney up all night.
Private equity firms are evil Romney will most likely try to tie President Obama to reviled “bankers” who make vast fortunes liquidating companies and destroying quality middle-class and blue-collar jobs, much the same work Romney did at Bain Capital, the private equity firm he co-founded in 1984.
Former governors have no clue what they’re doing Another anti-Perry line I expect to hear from Romney soon is that governors make bad presidents, because they lack foreign policy experience and expertise on national issues. Romney, a former governor who lost his one race for the U.S. Senate, will look immaculately coiffed but utterly dead-eyed as he recites this line in a future debate.
The Olympics are stupid and should never be held in America It was foolish of President Obama to try to bring the Olympics to Chicago, because the Olympics are an expensive waste of time and probably also part of the United Nations plot to enslave us to their one-world bicycle government, an increasingly desperate Romney will say at some point in the not-too-distant future. Romney, whose signature achievement in public service — prior to establishing a healthcare system in Massachusetts now decried as socialism — was his careful management of the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympic Games, will then go home and burn his framed photo of himself carrying the Olympic Torch on the first day of the games and the last day he can remember knowing what it was to feel joy.
Mormons are creepy A shocking, last-minute Jon Huntsman surge leads Romney to call the respected former Utah governor a “creepy cult follower” for his membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the faith Romney has been practicing his entire life. “Boy, Mormons, they don’t even drink coffee. What a bunch of nuts!” Romney will say, while carefully unbuttoning his shirt to show that he’s not wearing his sacred temple garments. “They’re all polygamists,” Romney will shout at a Tea Party rally. His sons will stop taking his calls.
I hate white people In order to win support from Barack Obama’s disillusioned liberal former supporters, Mitt Romney will announce that he will end the tyrannical supremacy of the evil white oppressors forever.
More Related Stories
- Developers evict historic women's shelter to build luxury hotel
- Guantánamo prisoner on hunger strike cries for help on Twitter
- 3 possible solutions to international tax avoidance
- “I just want the U.S. to send my father home”
- Army weapons engineer tied to white nationalist organizations
- Ted Cruz against the world
- David Vitter's hypocritical, punitive, horrible new amendment
- Louie Gohmert: Women should be forced to carry nonviable pregnancies to term
- Could hackers destroy the U.S. power grid?
- Democrats may be even worse than Republicans at regulating Wall Street
- Eric Holder versus journalism
- A progressive defense of drones
- There's no substitute for government disaster relief
- Holder signed off on search warrant for reporter
- Mississippi could begin prosecuting women for miscarriages
- Mike Judge: "Bowling for Columbine" made me pro-gun
- Closing Gitmo is not enough
- Murkowski: Palin too disengaged to run for Senate
- In IRS scandal, new GOP tactic is ignorance
- Code Pink activist berates Obama at national security speech
- Cuomo: "Shame on us" if New York City elects Weiner
Featured Slide Shows
The week in 10 picsclose X
- 1 of 11
Lisa Montgomery embraces her nephew Thursday after a tornado tore apart her home in Cleburne, Texas. The twister killed six people and destroyed entire swaths of the North Texas town.
Credit: AP/LM Otero
Jack McMahon, the defense attorney for abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell, speaks outside the Criminal Justice Center in Philadelphia Tuesday. His client was convicted of killing three babies in his clinic, and will serve multiple life sentences.
Credit: AP/Matt Rourke
A photo taken Monday captures Vice President Joe Biden's response to a Milwaukee second-grader's innovative proposal to end America's epidemic of gun violence. This guy!
Credit: AP/Jenny Aicher
Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., flanked by a grouper-eyed Michele Bachmann, addresses the IRS' admission that it targeted Tea Party groups in advance of the 2012 election. In an op-ed for CNN Thursday, the Kentucky senator slammed the president for his faux outrage.
Credit: AP/Molly Riley
Ousted IRS chief Steven Miller is sworn in on Capitol Hill Friday. Miller testified before the House Ways and Means Committee on the extra scrutiny the agency gave conservative groups applying for tax-exempt status.
Credit: AP/J. Scott Applewhite
Attorney General Eric Holder pauses as he testifies on Capitol Hill before the House Judiciary Committee Wednesday. Holder is under fire, among other things, for the Justice Department's gathering of phone records at the Associated Press.
Credit: AP/Carolyn Kaster
O.J. Simpson sits during an evidentiary hearing at Clark County District Court in Las Vegas, Nev., Thursday. Simpson, who is currently serving a nine-to-33-year sentence in state prison for armed robbery and kidnapping, is using a writ of habeas corpus to seek a new trial.
Credit: AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal/Jeff Scheid
Major Tom to ground control: On Sunday astronaut Chris Hadfield recorded the first music video from space, a cover of David Bowie's "Space Oddity."
Credit: AP/NASA/Chris Hadfield
When it rains it pours. President Barack Obama speaks during a news conference Thursday with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, inexplicably inspiring an #umbrellagate Twitter meme.
Credit: AP/Jacquelyn Martin
A smoke plume rises high above a road block at the intersection of County A and Ross Road east of Solon Springs, Wis., Tuesday. No injuries were reported, but the the wildfire caused evacuations across northwestern Wisconsin.
Credit: AP/The Duluth News-Tribune/Clint Austin
Recent Slide Shows
- 1 of 11