2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
You know how if you buy something that’s really expensive and it turns out that it’s broken you ask the company that made the thing to fix it, for free, under some sort of “warranty”? That is not how things work in defense contracting. The Air Force is giving Lockheed Martin $24 million to figure out why pilots keep passing out from lack of oxygen while flying in Lockheed Martin’s F-22 Raptors, the most expensive fighters ever built.
Wired’s Danger Room reports:
On no fewer than 20 occasions since 2008, Raptor pilots have reported mid-air black-outs, disorientation and other symptoms of oxygen deprivation — a.k.a., “hypoxia” — possibly related to the stealth fighter’s On-Board Oxygen Generation System, built by Honeywell.
Haha, whoops. Well, when you’re only able to spend $66.7 billion on a fleet of supermaneuverable stealth fighter aircraft, these things will happen.
Mid-air blackouts in stealth fighters seems pretty serious! It’s a good thing we don’t actually need these planes, because billion-dollar fighters are essentially pointless unless we seriously expect a full-on old-fashioned World War to break out between us and China and Russia and maybe Australia.
Congratulations to America for winning the “world’s coolest fighter plane” contest. It looked like a close race up until all the other competitors gave up 20 years ago. Maybe someone should just give the Pentagon a neat trophy so they stop building these insane things.
Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @pareeneMore Alex Pareene.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.