As human rights and development worker who wrestles with drinking I appreciate the insights of paranoia. In our culture, we have simultaneous understandings of drinking as both empowering and morally-bankrupt. Other forms of escapism or chemical medication -–over-working, media consumption, shopping, prescriptions, sun-tanning, etc– do not carry the same social and legal reprimands as drinking. Yet, all these habits transcribe to our children in various destructive ways.

One reason I continue to pursue my substance career is because I see it as a mechanism for delving into thoughts and emotions unexplored by many. This view of the my desires for substances has enabled me to balance/control my tendency for over-indulgence with other aspects of my life.

Prohibition is just as extreme and violent as regular over-consumption.

The description of the reasons why the author began drinking make it seem to me that she has depression. If she had depression before she became pregnant, then what hit her postpartum must have been a real whammy. People self-medicate for depression with alcohol, but it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. Having gotten drunk one night, your mood will be depressed for days after, from the effects of the alcohol and from the shame.

I think the author should see a cognitive behavioral therapist and/or a psychiatrist to be diagnosed and treated for the underlying mental illness and not waste her time attending meetings and beating herself up for being a selfish alcoholic with no self control. Just as someone with bad eyesight doesn’t need to keep trying harder than everyone else does in order to see — they just need glasses. Maybe you don’t need to keep trying to as someone said “white knuckle” it exercising self control, maybe you just need medication.

My mother always drank … always … but she functioned at work … she forgot promises, was generally always depressed and has “ulcers” and made us feel guilty for basic stuff like dinner and laundry, and was rarely moved to attend school or other functions preferring her “adult time,” vocal in demanding her right to it … as with most children of alcoholics, seemed pretty much normal to me… her critics were “jealous” and her friends were all drinkers too.

I was pretty much all-grown-up before I realized much of the damage done … oh my bio-dad and then stepfather were more flagrant drunks …

Adult Children of Alcoholics is worth checking out … link.

You narcissistic addicted types… “me me me me me… I can’t cope with having a child, so I drink… me me me me me…” Oh shut the fuck up.

I got some advice for you… keep your legs shut, keep it in your pants, get snipped. Because drunk parents (well in your case – drunk mom and shack-up baby daddy…) are in a child’s best interest! Yeah – right. Loser. (shaking my head)

Stick with the 12-step program.

just temporarily sober prior to your child…
as you are now “currently sober” until/unless you “give in” as almost all white-knuckle alcoholics eventually do.

Stay with the program.
As they say, keep coming back.
Good luck.

but let me just say, i’d rather have a reformed drunk than “yoga” mom any day of the week.

booze isn’t the only way to get away.