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Friday, Jan 25, 2013 11:41 PM UTC

Russia’s proposed ban on gay propaganda is awful

It is also so vague that almost everything in Russia is basically gay now SLIDE SHOW

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Topics: slideshow, Russia, LGBT, gay culture, equality, Gay Rights, ,

Russia's proposed ban on gay propaganda is awful (Credit: AP)

Have you heard about this Russian bill aiming to ban “propaganda of homosexualism”? It was just approved by an overwhelming majority in Russia’s lower house of Parliament, and it is expected to be signed into law by president Vladimir Putin.

And it’s awful. Seriously.

Not only would the law criminalize gay pride demonstrations and very basic forms of free expression, it would also penalize anything seen as promoting a gay lifestyle or gay culture to minors, punishing offenses like wearing rainbow suspenders with jail time or fines of up to $16,000. (I am not kidding about the rainbow suspenders.)

So what else is the propaganda of homosexualism? Glad you asked! Because, according to the insanely vague language of the bill, it is everything on Earth.

So here we go. Say goodbye to the following, Russia.

Everything in Russia is gay now

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  • Saint Basil's Cathedral

    Sorry, but Saint Basil's Cathedral is basically the building version of the rainbow flag. It just is.

    Credit: Best Russian Tours

  • t.A.T.u.

    Too bad t.A.T.u. waited until 2012 to reunite. The faux-lesbian pop stars could have had a go of it any other year. Now they are just faux propaganda.

    Credit: Wikipedia

  • Six grannies from the "Buranovskiye Babushki" band

    Sorry, grannies! You may have won the honor of representing Russia at the 2012 Eurovision Song Contest, but dancing old ladies is pure camp. This isn't a John Waters movie. You're banned!

    Credit: Vimeo

  • Brokeback Putin

    Presented without comment.

    Credit: AP

  • Kirill I of Moscow

    What's there to say about Kirill I, the spiritual head of Russia's Orthodox church? Sure, he might be a driving force behind hateful anti-gay legislation, but he also knows how to rock pastels and cupcake hats.

    Credit: Sergey Pyatakov

  • Putin and Medvedev bromance

    When asked about his "political marriage" with Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev, Putin played coy: "We are friends, friends for many years ... And the way that we have arranged our work today -- it seems to me, we can be proud of this."

    Credit: AP

  • Ivan Drago

    Really, "Rocky" villain Ivan Drago? You're banned!

    Credit: Image Shack

  • The Merry Milkman

    This is real: Activists from the St. Petersburg arm of the All-Russian “People’s Council” recently sued the leading juice and dairy producer “Wimm-Bill-Dann" for the "pro-homosexual" imagery on their milk products. Poor Merry Milkman!

    Credit: RussiaSlam.com

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Katie McDonough is an assistant editor for Salon, focusing on lifestyle. Follow her on Twitter @kmcdonovgh or email her at kmcdonough@salon.com. More Katie Mcdonough.

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