Jack Donaghy’s Wheel of Domination

There is no problem "30 Rock's" memorable boss can't solve

Topics: 30 Rock, six sigma, wheel of happiness domination, Jack Donaghy, NBC,

Jack Donaghy's Wheel of Domination

There is no problem that “30 Rock” boss Jack Donaghy cannot solve totally dominate. During last night’s series finale, he presented his team with the Six Sigma Wheel of Domination. “It’s a motivational tool I used back at GE,” he said. “And it will be replacing Kabletown’s kitten in spaghetti.”

Donaghy’s plan to dominate includes:

Innovation: Upwards Revenue Stream Dynamics

Synergism: Golf (A), Recapitalized Integration (C), Synergized Mindshare XXXs (D)

You Might Also Like

Vertical Integration: Leveraged Disintermediation Paradigms (A), Synergized Backward Overflow (B)

Horizontal Integration: Handshakefulness (A), Bladarian Frankles (B)

Diagonal Integration: Correlations

Brand Penetration: Brutality (A), Insight (B)

Diversification: Correlation of Overseas Earning Report (A), Teamwork

Eficationication: Finular Analysis

He later realized he could dominate happiness, too:

Prachi Gupta
Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at pgupta@salon.com.

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • 1 of 8
  • Close
  • Fullscreen
  • Thumbnails

    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    Sonic's Bacon Double Cheddar Croissant Dog

    Sonic calls this a "gourmet twist" on a classic. I am not so, so fancy, but I know that sprinkling bacon and cheddar cheese onto a tube of pork is not gourmet, even if you have made a bun out of something that is theoretically French.

    Krispy Kreme

    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    Krispy Kreme's Doughnut Dog

    This stupid thing is a hotdog in a glazed doughnut bun, topped with bacon and raspberry jelly. It is only available at Delaware's Frawley Stadium, thank god.


    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    KFC's Double Down Dog

    This creation is notable for its fried chicken bun and ability to hastily kill your dreams.

    Pizza Hut

    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    Pizza Hut's Hot Dog Bites Pizza

    Pizza Hut basically just glued pigs-in-blankets to the crust of its normal pizza. This actually sounds good, and I blame America for brainwashing me into feeling that.

    Carl's Jr.

    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    Carl's Jr. Most American Thick Burger

    This is a burger stuffed with potato chips and hot dogs. Choose a meat, America! How hard is it to just choose a meat?!

    Tokyo Dog

    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    Tokyo Dog's Juuni Ban

    A food truck in Seattle called Tokyo Dog created this thing, which is notable for its distinction as the Guinness Book of World Records' most expensive hot dog at $169. It is a smoked cheese bratwurst, covered in butter Teriyaki grilled onions, Maitake mushrooms, Wagyu beef, foie gras, black truffles, caviar and Japanese mayo in a brioche bun. Just calm down, Tokyo Dog. Calm down.


    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    Limp Bizkit's "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water"

    This album art should be illegal.

  • Recent Slide Shows



Comment Preview

Your name will appear as username ( settings | log out )

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href=""> <b> <em> <strong> <i> <blockquote>