2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
News of Pope Benedict XVI’s resignation rocked the Twitterverse this morning. Saying, “I have come to the certainty that my strengths, due to an advanced age, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise,” Pope Benedict will be the first pontiff to resign in six centuries.
Here’s a round up of the shock, the speculation and the obligatory jokes.
My #Vatican sources have been saying for years pope might resign. Lombardi says he wasn't "totally surprised"— Rachel Donadio — NYT (@RachelDonadio) February 11, 2013
Reporter Josephine McKenna @MorningEdition: Church officials "shocked" by Benedict's resignation; no "precedent for this in the modern era."— Steve Inskeep (@NPRinskeep) February 11, 2013
What's a Twitter account for if you can't drop bombshell news on it? @Pontifex is silent on Pope's resignation.— Jim Roberts (@nycjim) February 11, 2013
Pope Benedict was profoundly conservative, but this is a bold, non-traditional departure. I hope it leads to more change.— Nicholas Kristof (@NickKristof) February 11, 2013
Call me crazy, but I think the next Pope should be someone who didn't help cover up child rape.Tho,that may disqualify every single cardinal— Christopher Hayes (@chrislhayes) February 11, 2013
What Catholics are saying at Mass about the Pope's decision to retire http://t.co/PGwgQiGw— Philly Inquirer (@PhillyInquirer) February 11, 2013
Then came the reactions that Jamil Smith summed up nicely:
Rumors of a black pope, requisite Obama comparisons, inappropriate papal name jokes, and conservative panic -- coming soon to your Internet!— Jamil Smith (@JamilSmith) February 11, 2013
Would be brilliant if next Pope was from were the majority of Catholics live: Africa! The betting begins: http://t.co/kZc8HigV— Lara Whyte (@LaraWhyte) February 11, 2013
Obama for Pope? I mean, it's only slightly more outlandish than winning the Nobel Peace Prize after a few weeks in office.— jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) February 11, 2013
The Pope retiring at 85. Only two more years and he'd have gotten Medicare under the Ryan Budget.— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 11, 2013
RATZ ALL, FOLKS— max read (@max_read) February 11, 2013
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.